


Ars longa, vita brevis (Art is long, but life is short)

by AshKnight



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2018-09-03 15:33:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 51,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8719192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshKnight/pseuds/AshKnight
Summary: Emma Swan is a student at a distinguished arts college who finds herself with a new roommate, Regina Mills, a shy but beautiful photographer. They become fast friends, but even though Regina begins to develop feelings for her companion, Emma is a player, and it doesn't seem like it could ever work.





	1. Chapter 1

Emma Swan had always been an artist, whether it was painting, sculpting, drawing, writing, playing musical instruments, or singing. Her strength, however, was paint on canvas. Her only artistic weakness seemed to be photography. That being the case, it was a little ironic that her new roommate's specialty was exactly that.

Regina Mills was an elegant, beautiful girl, with long, dark, wavy locks of hair that reached down to her shoulder blades, and as soon as she walked into the dorm room, Emma felt her mouth water.

Of course, she pushed this aside and managed a quiet, "Hey," before turning back to her suitcase and continuing to unpack her clothes.

Given that they'd received minimal information about each other before they moved into their dorms, they knew each other's names already and didn't have to exchange them. After a while of silence from Regina, the blonde looked up from the mess she was making and decided to make an attempt to end the awkwardness.

"Jesus, kid," Emma commented, seeing several camera cases in various locations on the other side of the room. "How many cameras you got, anyway?"

"Six cameras and several more lenses, if you don't count my pathetic little point and shoot."

"I take it you're a photographer then."

"Oh, well… I mean… I, uh… I dabble."

Emma laughed and shook her head, her curls bouncing around her shoulders.

"I doubt someone in art school with that many cameras is just 'dabbling.' You're probably not paying the obscene tuition here just to practice a hobby. I bet you're really good."

Regina blushed and dropped her gaze. She was more than modest about her skills as a photographer, but she certainly did have a passion for it. That was why she was in school in the first place. No matter how hard she tried to let it go – she'd been told my her parents that it was silly and a waste of her time – it was like a good book she couldn't put down.

"What, um… What do you do?" Regina finally asked, sitting down gracefully on her bed and tucking a bit of hair behind her ears.

"I paint, I guess," Emma told her with a shrug. "Not great at it, but I love it. It's my out, you know? My escape from… well… everything."

"You must be pretty good if they accepted you here."

"Eh. I think they just agreed to take me because I got relatively acceptable grades in high school, and I'm not really a one-hit wonder. My portfolio included several different types of media. None of which were all that spectacular. I think they just thought my being somewhat well rounded was enough to take me. But you know what they say. Jack of all trades, master of none."

"I'm not sure that's true."

"Anyway," the blonde coughed. "Enough about me. What kind of music do you like?"

"Oh, just… heavy metal and stuff like that."

Emma laughed and shook her head, saying, "I call bullshit."

"Yeah," Regina chuckled. "I'm mostly into classical and jazz."

"I love jazz."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I was in a jazz band in high school."

"Seriously? What did you play?"

"Trumpet," Emma answered slowly. "And… a few other things…"

"Holy… You play more than one instrument?"

"Er…"

"Wow."

"What?"

"That's just… impressive. You paint… you're a musician… What else?"

"I, uh… really like Pokémon?"

At this, Regina burst out laughing, unable to hold it in as she processed the joke.

Then, eyes slightly wide, Emma reached into her backpack and pulled out a binder, tossing it on Regina's bed. When the brunette opened it, looking confused until she saw what was inside, her eyes went wide too.

"Oh. Shit. I'm sorry. I just…"

"Yeah, man. That's only a fourth of my card collection. The rest are at home. There's a holographic Charizard in there."

"A holographic… uh… what?"

Laughing brightly, Emma answered, "It's a Pokémon. Forget it."

At the sound of Emma's laugh, Regina couldn't help but smile. The lightness of it was almost angelic, and it was infectious.

"Oh, wow," Regina said suddenly, glancing at the clock. "It's ten already."

"Uh… so?"

"It's… It's kinda late."

Again, Emma laughed.

"Not a night owl, huh?"

"No, not really. More of an early bird, to be honest. I know that's kind of lame, especially as a college student."

"Yeah… I'm… definitely one to pull all-nighters. I like to leave everything to the last minute."

With a yawn, Regina stood and passed the binder back to her roommate, then lay down on her bed.

"I'll be quiet though," Emma clarified. "I won't keep you up. I'm not a shitty roommate like that. I just… kinda… uh… my room is usually pretty messy. But I'll keep it to my side! Promise."

"That might be an issue," Regina confessed, looking a little concerned. "I'm a neat freak."

"We'll figure it out. No worries. Sleep tight."

"You too, when you get there."

* * *

 

In the morning, Regina was surprised to find that Emma had already made a mess of her side of the room. What really caught her attention, though, were the numerous paintings that scattered the area, some on her desk, some propped up against the foot of the bed, others set up on the dresser. They were stunning, and Regina was captivated by there beauty. Next, she noticed the beauty of their creator, sleeping peacefully on her side with her lips slightly parted. She raised her eyebrows involuntarily and stared for a minute or two before she was able to tear her gaze away.

When she left the room around nine in the morning, Emma was still sleeping soundly.

Later that afternoon, Regina reappeared in the room and found the blonde sitting on her bed, a pencil in her hands as she sketched in her notebook. Emma was too distracted to notice the girl coming in and didn't even raise her head as the sound of footsteps grew closer.

Finally, Regina coughed and said, "Hey," feeling awkward in the silence.

"Oh, shit," Emma gasped. "I didn't even hear you come in. Hi."

"How was your day?"

"Huh? Fine. It was fine."

"Alright. Cool."

"Yours?"

"Eh. My Intro to Photography teacher assigned a boatload of homework, and my sketching 101 class is a total bitch."

"Not a big fan of drawing?"

"Not at all. Actually, I suck at pretty much everything except photography. But – Oh, wow."

"Wow what?"

"That's… Wow."

"What?"

"Your… Your drawing. Who is that?"

"That's kind of a personal question, isn't it?" Emma chuckled, closing her sketchbook quickly.

"Oh, shit… I'm sorry," Regina blurted. "I was just curious. I didn't mean to pry. Please, forgive me."

Raising an eyebrow, Emma told her, "It's fine. I was just joking. It's stupid, though."

"Why?"

"It's just a celebrity."

"Well, it's coming out really well. Looks beautiful."

"I, um… Thanks…"

They went quiet after that. Emma opened her sketchbook again and resumed her artwork while Regina pulled several prints out of an envelope and spread them over the bed. Eventually, Emma looked up from her work and noticed.

"Those… Those are really nice," she said. "You've got quite an eye for color. I can't shoot a camera for shit."

"Oh, I'm sure you can," Regina told her with a shrug. "Besides, these aren't the best. I was pressured for time this afternoon. I had to get them developed right after, so I rushed."

"They're beautiful. Can I come take a closer look?"

Hesitating, Regina replied, "Um… Sure."

Emma stood slowly, pushing her sketchbook and pencil aside, and walked over to Regina's bed.

"Wow," she breathed. "These are really incredible."

"Nah."

"No, really. Wow."

Regina was blushing, and when Emma saw it, she felt her own face grow warm.

"Anyway… I should get to bed," the brunette said abruptly, collecting the photos and carefully putting them back in the envelope.

Emma nodded and sat back down on her own bed, trying not to watch as Regina turned away and wiggled beneath the covers.

* * *

 

They spoke little over the next few days, just missing each other when they were in their dorm. Emma made a habit of coming back late, long after Regina was asleep, and Regina was usually gone in the morning before Emma woke up.

One night, though, Emma returned around three in the morning and accidentally tripped over a stack of textbooks on art theory – which she'd never bothered to read – and nearly went flying across the floor, waking the sleeping brunette with a start.

"Holy shit!" Regina cried, flicking on the light and scrambling out from under the covers. "Are you okay?!"

Emma gasped, rolling onto her back and holding her knee to her chest as she squeezed her eyes shut to fight back tears. The pain was blinding, so she did not reply.

"Emma?"

"Mmm."

"You okay? Can I get you some ice? Are you-"

"Fine," Emma ground out. "I'm fine."

But Regina caught the lie and touched her shoulder, saying, "I'll be right back. Don't move."

She pulled an ice pack from the tiny freezer of their mini fridge and held it against Emma's knee, causing the girl to hiss in pain.

"Fuck, man!" the blonde cried. "That fucking hurts!"

Instinctively, Emma tried to pull away, but Regina quickly slipped her hand behind her calf and held her still.

"Hey," she said softly. "Be still. It'll stop."

The gentleness in the girl's voice made Emma pause as she looked into her eyes. Regina's gaze was soft, her face full of genuine concern.

"It's okay," Regina whispered. "It'll stop. Lie back on the floor. I'll hold the ice pack."

Emma shook her head, but when the brunette pushed lightly on her shoulder, she obeyed, lying back and shutting her eyes as Regina carefully held the ice pack to her knee. After a few minutes, the pain did numb.

"Feel better?" Regina asked, when Emma started to sit up.

The girl nodded and sighed, "Yes. Thank you. You should get back to bed. I'm really sorry I woke you."

"What do you even do when you stay out this late?" Regina chuckled.

Emma shrugged.

"Ruby and Belle throw parties a lot."

"Oh…"

"Not much of a party animal yourself, are you?"

"No. Definitely not."

With a smile, Emma rose to her feet (with some difficulty) and made her way to her bed.

Once she was under the covers, she yawned and said, "Goodnight, Regina. Thank you."

With a nod, Regina lowered her head onto the pillow and shut her eyes.

* * *

 

The next day, Regina was surprised to find her roommate leaning up against a wall in the hallway of the campus' main building, talking to another girl. At first, she considered simply walking away, not wanting to disturb them, but Emma turned her head at exactly the right moment, just as her hand dropped to her side after tucking a bit of hair behind her companion's ear. The blonde noticed her roommate and offered a wave and a bright smile.

"Hey, Mills," she greeted her. "What's up?"

"I, um… I…" Regina started, but couldn't help but stare at the blonde and her beautiful brown-haired companion. "I'm s-sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

With a laugh, Emma stepped forward and told her, "You didn't interrupt. It's fine. I said hi to you, remember? Besides, you're not bothering me. It's good to see you. Thanks for last night."

At this last comment, Emma's companion cocked a curious eyebrow. When Emma noticed it out of the corner of her eyes, she spun around quickly.

"Not like that," she asserted.

Regina instantly began to blush.

"Hey, sorry," Emma said to her roommate. "She's just-"

"I'll see you around, Em," the girl standing beside Emma told her. "Later."

"Shit, I'm sorry," Regina blurted, as soon as the girl turned to leave. "I didn't mean to-"

"Shh. You didn't. It's fine. She's just jealous."

"Uh… What?"

"You're pretty. She probably thinks we're sleeping together."

 _You're pretty._ Regina repeated the words in her head, her blush brightening.

"Is… Is she your girlfriend?" the brunette finally dared to ask.

"Um… Not… Not really."

Looking confused, Regina asked, "Not really?"

"I mean, we… we're not…" When Regina blinked a few times and said nothing, Emma sighed, pushing a hand through her hair, and clarified, "We have fun. That's it."

"Oh."

So Emma was the type for casual relationships. Or… non-relationships. Whatever. Regina looked away. As a virgin, it was difficult for her to imagine sharing herself with multiple people at the same time, but it didn't surprise her that Emma wasn't limited to one woman. At the very least, Regina was glad that her suspicions about Emma liking women were correct. It made her feel like a little bit less of an alien for her own sexual orientation.

"Anyway… I gotta get to class. I'll see you later, yeah? If you're not asleep, I mean."

With a wink, Emma turned and walked away.

Emma was surprised to find Regina sitting at her desk, awake, when she returned to the dorm around two in the morning.

"Whoa," Regina commented, noting that the girl was covered and sweat and looked red in the cheeks. "What happened to you?"

"Oh, my _God,_ " Emma laughed, falling onto her bed. "That was _wild._ "

"Huh? What happened?"

"She was _pissed,_ man."

"What do you mean? Who was pissed?"

"Ruby."

"The girl you were talking to today in the hallway?"

"Yeah."

"Why was she pissed?"

"She's convinced that we're sleeping together," Emma told her, still laughing.

"But I thought you said that you weren't…"

"We're not. She knows we're not exclusive. She's pissed that I totally just walked away from her to talk to you. Ridiculous, right?"

"I, um…"

Utterly confused, Regina stared blankly as Emma continued to smile brightly.

"Hate sex is the best sex," the blonde finally explained.

Then, it made sense. Too much sense. Regina blushed and immediately turned back to her homework.

"Oh," she muttered, still facing away.

"Ha. Sorry. I'm _wiped,_ dude. Think I'm skippin' class tomorrow morning."

"You should really-"

"Hey, if you'd been railed like that, you'd skip too. I'm gonna be bruised for a week!"

Swallowing hard, Regina nodded her head to signal her understanding and remained silent. Emma never asked why Regina was up so late, and Regina didn't bother to explain that she was drowning in homework already. By the time she was finished, it was around four in the morning, and she could barely function. Still, as she collapsed in her bed, she was kept awake by obtrusive thoughts of Emma getting "railed" by the beautiful girl she'd seen in the hallway. To her horror, she felt her arousal pool between her legs as she listened to the beautiful blonde's moans in her mind, her imagination taking over.

* * *

 

"You okay?" Emma mumbled, hearing Regina frantically scrambling around the room and knocking books off the desk.

"I can't find my room keys and I'm late for class! Fuck!"

"Hey. Hey. It's fine. Take mine. I'm definitely not leaving any time soon. I'll be here until five, then I'm meeting Belle for dinner. I'll look for your keys if you want."

Regina looked at her dumbly, not comprehending the kind gesture until Emma grabbed her keys off the nightstand and tossed them to her. Of course, Regina missed when trying to catch them, and they fell on the floor behind her. When she bent over to pick them up, Emma stared.

By the time Regina had gathered the rest of her things and said, "Have a good day. See you later," the blonde was nearly drooling.

" _Damn_ , she is hot," Emma sighed, as soon as the door closed.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked, upon opening the door to their room and finding Emma on the floor, doing push-ups in a tightly fitting tank top.

"Huh?" Emma asked, nearly falling face-first to the floor as she scrambled to her knees and turned around to face the voice. "I was, uh… you know. Exercising."

"I see."

"Gotta stay in shape for the ladies, ya know?" Emma chuckled, pushing a hand through her hair, which was matted with sweat.

"Um… Yeah," the brunette replied, looking away shyly.

"Should I, uh… not do it here? Is it going to bother you while you study?"

"What? Oh. No, it's fine. I just… uh… was surprised to find you on the floor, I guess."

"Don't lie, Mills. You love the sight of a muscular girl, all hot and sweaty, on your bedroom floor," Emma teased with a bright smile.

Clearly, she was joking, but Regina's eyes raked over her skin anyway, noting her thick biceps and the sweat dripping from her forehead.

"Seriously, though. What don't you do?" Regina finally managed, as she realized staying silent was far too awkward, given that they were staring at each other.

"Well, since you asked, I'm not really into anal."

Emma's grin (and her words) made the brunette blush brightly as she looked away again, unable to face the blatant vulgarity of the joke. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cover her face with a pillow to hide her obvious embarrassment.

"Uh… Sorry," Emma said, as soon the girl dropped her gaze.

Something about the redness in her cheeks made Emma warm, though, and that she enjoyed, so she was grateful for the sight of her. Still, she felt badly about making her uncomfortable, so the apology slipped out easily, and she quickly became embarrassed herself.

"It's fine," Regina said hurriedly.

But it was obvious that the image had affected Regina, so Emma decided to change the subject.

"So, how was your day?"

"It was alright."

"I found your keys. They're on your desk."

"What? Really?" Regina asked, sudden excitement in her voice. "Where were they?"

"Under your gigantic pile of textbooks," the blonde chuckled. "I think you study too much."

"Yeah, probably. Anyway, thank you so much. I was a complete wreck this morning. I didn't even have time for coffee, so I was an absolute monster until I had lunch around one. Also, speaking of homework and studying, I should probably get to it and leave you to your… uh… exercise."

It was Emma's turn to blush as she turned away and resumed the position to perform more push-ups. She did these in silence as Regina sat down at her desk, but after four or five minutes, her effort and vigor increased, until she was sweating more and breathing heavily.

When she heard the noise, Regina turned around in her chair. Instead of speaking, she simply watched in awe as sweat glistened between her roommate's shoulder blades. She continued to stare, until Emma collapsed and let out a long sigh.

Without speaking, the brunette stood up and walked over to their mini fridge, then walked back over to where Emma was lying on the floor.

"Hey," she finally said softly, holding out a water bottle.

Emma looked up slowly, clearly exhausted from the exertion, then smiled as she reached gratefully for the bottle.

"Thanks," she said, then took several large gulps of the liquid. "Fifty more to go."

"You should rest," Regina quickly countered. "You look exhausted."

"I know, I know. I look like shit when I work out. Sorry."

"No, no. I didn't mean like that! I just meant… You're working hard. You should take a break before you push yourself too far or get dehydrated or something."

The care with which Regina spoke surprised Emma, and her tenderness was touching. She sat up slowly, then crossed her legs.

"You're a really sweet kid, Mills."

Regina blinked a few times before responding with, "Um. Thanks."

Being called 'kid' wasn't exactly the most dignified way of being addressed, but Emma said it in such a casual way that it didn't really bother her. It just made her feel a little strange. Besides, they were the same age, in the same year of school.

"No, really. You're a sweetheart. Thank you."

Regina shrugged her shoulders and sat back down in the chair, turning away slowly, leaving Emma to wonder what she was thinking.

* * *

 

"So, I heard you got a new plaything," Belle told Emma as they sat down at a table in the dining hall.

"What? No. And why does that matter to you, anyway?"

"It doesn't. I'm just repeating gossip, which I really shouldn't. But I was curious, because Ruby seemed _really_ pissed yesterday."

"Oh, I think I smoothed that over," Emma said with a sly grin, then looked down at her plate of food and took a few bites.

"Ohhh," the brunette laughed. "Well, I'm glad you two made up. I know you're just friends, but seriously, it would be a huge pain in my ass if you guys kept fighting."

"She can't flip her shit every time she thinks I'm sleeping with someone," Emma sighed, her tone becoming serious. "We're just friends."

"With benefits," Belle corrected quickly. "Lots and lots of benefits."

"What the hell do you know about it?"

"Oh, you've given me _plenty_ of details."

"What? When?"

"Uh, last weekend, when you were tripping balls?"

"I wasn't _tripping balls,_ " the blonde grumbled, digging angrily at her mashed potatoes with her fork. "I was just a little… Whatever. Anyway, I probably made it all up."

"I doubt it," Belle replied dryly.

When Emma scowled at her, she cocked an eyebrow.

"What exactly did I say then, smartass?"

"Things I daren't repeat."

When Belle laughed, Emma shoved her shoulder.

"Knock it off."

They were quiet for a while as they ate, but eventually, Belle spoke up again, asking, "So… Why weren't you ever freaky with me?"

Emma's eyes went wide as she lifted her gaze to meet her friend's. They'd had several sexual encounters since meeting in their first year of college, but they'd all been relatively mild and had lacked the excitement that Emma so desperately craved. How could she explain that, though? How could she tell Belle that she was just… sort of… vanilla?

"What does that even mean?" Emma finally huffed, clearly already in a state of agitation.

"Do you really want me to spell it out for you?"

When Emma snapped, "Are you really upset about this?!" Belle looked away. "Come on. We were just fooling around. We're friends, right?"

"You're friends with Ruby too."

"It's different."

"How?"

"You and I have known each other for two years. My relationship with Ruby is just… not the same."

"How? How is it not the same?"

"Oh, come on. Stop it."

But Belle was clearly upset, so she pressed, "No, really. What does Ruby have that I don't?"

"Why are you pissed right now? We're not even together and you're getting jealous? Like, seriously? I expected this from Ruby, but from you?"

"Nevermind. Anyway, I hope you give your new toy a good ride."

With that, Belle stood up, shoved her chair back in, grabbed her tray, and disappeared into the throng of people that were trying to find tables in the crowded dining hall.

When Emma dialed the girl's number as soon as she got to the dorm that night, her hands were sweating from frustration. She gripped the phone tightly and tried not to grind her teeth.

"What the hell was that?" she spat into the phone, as soon as she heard her friend answer.

"What was _what,_ Emma?"

"Your little temper tantrum in the dining hall! What else?"

"Temper tantrum? Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously! You flipped your shit over nothing."

"You're a fucking player, Emma. And that's fine. But if you're going to play, you should play everyone the same."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. How can you possibly have your panties in this much of a bunch? And why didn't you said anything to me before now, if it bothered you so much?"

"Because it felt stupid, until I heard that you got a new addition to your little harem."

"Oh, my _God,_ " the blonde groaned. "I do _not_ have a harem. They're just _friends,_ for fuck's sake."

"Yeah. Friends. Like we're friends. Like you and Ruby are friends."

"Okay, first of all, I don't have a new addition to-" Emma started to protest, but the door to the room opened with a loud creak, and she jumped from being startled. "Jesus! You scared me!"

"What?"

"Gotta go."

The call ended with a click, leaving the girl's friend even more furious and upset than before.

* * *

 

"Hey," Emma greeted her roommate, forcing a weak smile.

"Um… You okay?"

"Yeah, of course. Why?"

"You sounded pretty… agitated…"

"Oh. Just a, um… a little tiff, with Belle."

"You seem to have several tiffs with your… friends."

"Well, maybe as of recently," Emma muttered in response, lowering her gaze as she shuffled her feet on the floor while she sat on her bed.

"Why recently?" Regina asked, with concern in her voice.

"I don't know. Women are just crazy."

Raising an eyebrow, Regina sat across from Emma on her own bed, then asked, "All of them?"

" _All_ of them," the girl confirmed with enthusiasm. Quickly, she added, "No offense."

"What's so crazy about me?"

This, of course, put Emma on the spot, and she blushed brightly, feeling like a fool for opening her mouth.

"Uh… I mean…"

"Go on."

"Well… For one thing…" Emma forced herself to reply. "You study like mad. I mean, what art student actually does their work?"

"I do."

When Regina moved to stand, Emma quickly stood as well (though she wasn't sure why) and blurted, "Wait. I'm sorry. I just meant-"

"No, it's cool. I get it. It's dumb. Whatever, though, because it makes my parents happy, and I guess that's what matters."

This rendered Emma silent. What twenty-year-old gave a shit what their parents thought about their grades? Apparently, her roommate.

Desperately trying to beck pedal, she finally said, "It's not dumb. I didn't mean it that way. I meant, like… surprising. Out of the norm."

"Gee, thanks."

"Shit. I'm sorry. I just meant-"

"Oh, my God, Emma. Just stop."

Gulping down her embarrassment, Emma nodded her head and sat back down on the bed, then pulled her sketchbook from the drawer of her nightstand. After folding her legs beneath her, she opened the book and began to draw. This lasted a few hours, until Regina wiggled beneath her covers and rolled over to face the wall. It wasn't long after that that Emma heard her breathing become slow and steady, telling her that the girl had fallen asleep.

A few hours after that, Regina woke from a dream with a start and sat up in bed. Emma was awake and sitting at her desk, even though it was well past two in the morning.

Regina blinked a few times in the dimness of the nightlight, then looked over at her roommate. Emma forced herself to keep her focus on the keyboard of her laptop, rather than turning around to look at Regina, who she heard sitting up and pushing her covers down. Her typing stopped though, even though she stared at the screen with intensity. Only when the silence continued for another solid minute was she able to resume pressing the keys with enthusiasm. She didn't notice Regina staring.

After she spent a few minutes listening to Emma's fingers falling heavily on the keys, the brunette finally stood up slowly and left the room, quietly shutting the door behind her. Only then did Emma lift her gaze, but by the time she looked, the door was already closed, and Regina was gone.

It wasn't long before the girl returned to the room, and by then, Emma was typing again – so loudly, in fact, that she didn't heard the girl open or shut the door. It was only when the girl coughed as she sat down on her bed that the blonde realized she was there. Still, she didn't turn around or open her mouth to speak.

Regina tried hard to fall back asleep, but she found it too difficult a task, and eventually, she sat back up in bed and looked around the room. It had been almost an hour since she'd woke up, and Emma was still vigorously banging away at the keys.

"What you writing?" Regina asked shyly, unable to maintain the silence.

Regina was surprised when Emma laughed nervously and said, "You don't want to know."

"Huh?"

"Let's just say that it's definitely not an essay."

The brunette remained quiet for a while, but eventually, curiosity got the better of her, and she pressed, "How do you know that I don't want to know?"

Emma chuckled and replied, "Because it's porn. There. Ya happy?"

Regina's eyes went wide. That certainly hadn't been the answer she was expecting.

"Like… Like a romance novel?"

"No. Like slutty, smutty, dirty, nasty fanfiction."

"Oh," Regina said, blushing.

When the girl went quiet, Emma turned around. Finding her red in the face, she smiled.

"Not at all what you expected me to say, huh?"

"Um… No. Not… Not really."

"What did you expect me to say?"

Clearly curious, the blonde kept her eyes focused on Regina, who was nearly squirming with discomfort.

"I'm not sure. I guess… not that. I shouldn't be surprised."

"And why is that?"

"Well, you've got experience, right? So why wouldn't you write about what you know?"

The words weren't filled with judgment. They were genuine, and Emma smiled, realizing that she wasn't being looked down on.

"I guess you're right. I mean, I gotta tell you… I don't have experience with _everything_ I write. Sometimes, you just gotta use your imagination. It's all about channeling your own fantasies, you know?"

"Oh."

Regina hadn't sounded like she was judging, but the sudden silence made Emma uneasy.

"You're totally weirded out, aren't you?"

"No. Not at all. I've just… never actually… read… fanfiction. Or any erotica, really."

"What? Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Not even when you masturbate?"

"Whoa. You can stop right there. And no, because… well. Nevermind." When Emma raised an eyebrow, Regina snapped, "What?!"

"Nothing. I'm just… I mean… I don't know."

"I don't masturbate, okay? Jesus."

"Never?"

"Don't you think this conversation is getting a little personal?"

"Sorry," Emma mumbled quickly, turning back around to face the computer. She couldn't bring herself to type though. She'd lost her focus.

With a sigh, Regina said, "It's okay. And no, never."

"I don't either," Emma replied, not turning around. "At least, not anymore. But that's just because… Well. You know."

"Uh… not really."

"Not to brag, but I get enough action that I don't really need to. I'm kind of a slut."

"It doesn't make you a slut. You have a right to express your sexuality in any way you see fit. It's your life. Your body. Your choices."

"Wow, Mills. That's very open minded of you. Most people don't see it that way. Thanks."

"You're welcome, I guess. I was just saying." There was a pause before Regina added, "So… Do you want to talk about what happened with Belle? I mean, you seemed really upset when I came in. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I figured I'd ask. If you want to vent, I'm here."

Emma sighed and replied, "It's nothing, really. Belle's just a bitch."

"Yeah?" Regina asked gently.

It was her way of carefully inviting Emma to say more, without actually initiating a game of Twenty Questions or the Art School Roommate Inquisition.

"Pretty much," the blonde huffed, shutting her laptop and turning her chair around to face Regina. "Well, I mean… I guess she's not a _total_ bitch. At least, not all the time. She's just wigging out because… because… Ugh. You probably don't need to hear this."

"It's okay. Whatever you want to share, I can handle."

Regina wasn't sure if this was true, but she definitely wasn't going to miss an opportunity to be supportive.

"She's upset because I have more exciting sex with Ruby than I ever had with her. Which is stupid, because Belle and I don't even sleep together anymore. I mean, we used to bang _a lot._ We haven't since the end of last school year. And that's just because we were… Well, Nevermind."

"So… You told her you have better sex with Ruby than you do with her?"

"No! And I didn't say better. I said more exciting."

"Oh. Okay. Well… Why would she think that then?"

"Because I've told her _about_ my sex with Ruby. I mean, she's my friend, right? We've talked about this forever. I didn't think she cared. I guess when she heard I was sleeping with you, she kind of snapped."

"Wait, _what?_ "

"No, wait! I mean. _Ruby_ said that, not me."

"Oh."

"Anyway, she's heard some of the stuff I've done with Rubes, so she can compare and is smart enough to put two and two together."

"So… If the sex was so bad… or mediocre… or whatever… why did you sleep with her so many times?"

"It wasn't bad, okay? It was just… a little… vanilla. I mean, she liked it rough enough, but it never got _kinky._ Which is fine! I mean, she never initiated anything kinky, so I never thought she… but now… now, she's acting like she wanted it crazy the whole time and I just never delivered, and now I'm giving it hard to Ruby, and she's jealous."

It was a lot to digest, and she'd said it _very_ quickly, but once Regina had fully processed – or at least mostly processed – she said, "It makes sense."

"Wait, what? What makes sense?"

"That she'd be jealous. You talk about your sex with Ruby because it's good. And now you're not sleeping with Belle anymore, so naturally… she'd think sex with her was bad. It doesn't really matter if she's into you or not. I don't think that's the point. I think the point is that it hurts to have you be so into sex with someone else. Without you saying otherwise, it implies that sex with her was less than what it is with Ruby."

Blinking a few times before speaking, Emma replied, "I guess that makes sense. Now, I kinda feel like a jerk. But, like… I don't even know if she's into me or not now. She got so wound up. Like, why would it matter _that_ much if she didn't want to sleep with me again?"

"Maybe it's a self-esteem thing. Or maybe she does want to sleep with you again. It doesn't necessarily mean she has feelings for you. Maybe she just wants those benefits again."

"She's the one who said we should stop. That she didn't want it to – and I quote – 'ruin our friendship.'"

"Well, how did you feel when she said that?"

"What are you, my shrink?" Emma laughed, shaking her head and walking over to her bed where she sat down slowly.

"No. I was just asking."

"Alright… Well… I mean… It felt kind of shitty, because the sex _was_ good, and it did sort of feel like a rejection, even though it wasn't a romantic relationship. But I mean… to be fair… I started sleeping with Belle at the very beginning of Freshman year. We hit it off right away. But I never thought she'd be into… well… whatever. She didn't seem like the type."

"I guess you can't judge a book by its cover."

"Guess you're right."

"What do you think would happen if you explained that to her?"

"Um, nothing. She's a grudge-holder if I've ever met one. She's gonna stay pissed forever."

"No one, except super villains, stays pissed forever."

"Eh. You don't know this girl."

"It might be worth it to at least give it a try. I mean, you care about your friendship at least, right?"

"Well, yeah. Of course. She's definitely my closest friend."

"Then you should probably talk to her, especially if she's hurt and upset."

"Yeah… You're probably right."

With a sigh, Emma collapsed backwards on the bed, on top of the unmade covers, and shut her eyes.

"Thinking about this is exhausting. I think I'm gonna crash. Thanks, Mills."

"Any time, Swan."


	2. Chapter 2

Emma dialed Belle's number as soon as she woke up the next morning, which was long after Regina had left.

"Belle? Hey," she said into the phone, unable to mask the nervousness in her voice.

"What do you want, Emma?"

"Well, 'yo' to you too, homie."

"You're not funny, you know."

"You seem to think I am."

"Yeah, maybe when we're high. Everyone's funny when I'm rolling."

"That's not true. Killian's never funny, even when you're rolling."

With a bright laugh she'd fought hard to hold back, Belle conceded, "Yeah, that's true. And neither is Robin."

"Also true."

After a pause, Belle continued, "So, seriously. What do you want?"

"I just thought we could talk. What time do you have class?"

"Not until eleven."

Emma looked at the clock and saw that it was just past nine-thirty, then suggested, "Meet me for breakfast at ten?"

"See you in a half hour?"

"Sounds good. Bye, twerp."

* * *

"Hey," Emma greeted her friend, feeling strangely shy as soon as she saw her.

It was unusual for Emma to be unsure of herself – at least around women – but she did feel guilty for making Belle feel like shit, which made it hard to look the girl in the eyes.

"Hey, butthead."

"Wow, that's a good one," the blonde laughed. "Never heard that before."

"Alright,  _cum sucker._ "

"Ha! You wish."

Of course, this was blurted out before Emma could catch herself, and once the words escaped her lips, she wanted to slap herself. Belle didn't look upset, though. She just looked a little hurt.

"Anyway."

"Listen… Belle…"

"Let's not talk about it, okay?"

"You mean, you're not going to hold a grudge against me forever?"

"Then who would I party with?"

Emma smiled when Belle grinned and winked at her.

"Seriously, though…" the blonde said, after a moment of quiet. "I obviously made you feel like shit, and I'm sorry. I never should have said anything about Ruby."

"You were high. It's not like you meant to say it."

"That's not really an excuse."

"Okay. You're right. It's not."

"I am sorry."

"Yeah. You do kind of look it. You've got the kicked puppy thing going on right now. I'm just waiting for the big, wet puppy eyes."

Right on cue, Emma widened her eyes, stuck out her lip, and forced her eyes to well with tears.

"Oh, my God. Stop," Belle laughed, shoving the girl's shoulder.

But the blonde continued to make the painfully persuasive face as she whined, "Pweeeeease forgive me?"

"Oh, alright. I forgive you, shithead. But you're still a cum sucker."

"I certainly could be," Emma told her, dropping the cute puppy act and looking serious again as she put her hand on Belle's knee. "For you."

"Don't, Emma… We talked about this."

"Why not? We're always going to be friends, Belle. We were friends then, weren't we? Why can't we go back to that?"

"Because you're too wrapped up in the women you have now, who are obviously freakier than me."

"Belle, stop it. Don't get jealous. It's just different. You never told me you wanted it any other way. How was I supposed to know?"

"Well, I didn't think you were into that, until you described, in painfully accurate detail, beating Ruby's ass with a whip!"

Emma paused before speaking again, not removing her hand, but rather sliding it further up to Belle's thigh.

"Is that what you want?"

"Look, I was just making a point… Don't… Don't take it the wrong way…"

"How do you want me to take it, then? Because it sounds like you want a piece of the action."

"That's not the point! The point is that you do things with her that you never did with me, and it makes me feel inadequate and mediocre."

"You're the one who wanted to stop sleeping with me. I never said I wanted to stop."

"We were sleeping together forever by the time I said that. You've been seeing Ruby for like… a month."

"First of all, I've known Ruby for a year. Second, I'm not  _seeing_ her; I'm fucking her. It's not the same thing."

"That doesn't alter my point at all."

"Okay, so what's the point? Like, what's the bottom line?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. I was just… annoyed, I guess."

"You were more than annoyed. I know you."

"Yeah, well. Whatever."

"No, come on." This time, Emma reached for Belle's hand and squeezed it as she said, "Talk to me. What can I do? You're an amazing friend, and I don't want anything to be messed up between us."

"Alright. Fine. Then  _try_ to stop telling me about your escapades with other women."

"Okay, but… then you have to stop getting me high, because you know I have absolutely no control over what comes out of my mouth when I'm rolling or whatever."

"Uhhh… No promises."

Unable to hide the grin that crept over her lips, Emma leaned in and kissed the brunette's warm cheek a few times, then tucked a few strands of hair behind her ears.

"I'll do my best, then, but no promises on my side either. You're the one I go to for everything, Belle. I trust you more than anyone."

"Really?"

"Yeah, man. Why do you think I tell you everything?"

"I… I don't know…"

"I thought you felt the same about me, but I guess I'm wrong."

"No, you're not wrong. I do trust you more than anyone. You're my best friend."

"Then let me make it up to you."

"Well, if you can't promise not to talk about your sexual escapades, what exactly are you proposing to make it up to me?"

"That's entirely up to you, my dear."

* * *

"Oh, my God, Emma. FUCK!" Belle screamed, toes curling as she braced herself by pressing her hands against the wall.

With every stinging switch of the whip, the brunette whimpered and nearly crumbled onto the bed. Her legs shook harder with every painful blow, until her thighs were soaked with her own arousal.

"Shit, Emma," she gasped. "I need you."

"You need me to what?" the blonde replied darkly, nearly grinning with satisfaction.

"I need you to fuck me."

"Good girl," Emma cooed, kissing her bare left shoulder blade before using the whip one more time.

* * *

Emma crept back into her room around four in the morning with soaking wet hair.

"Where were you? You're dripping all over the floor." Regina mumbled, sitting up in bed as she heard Emma stub her toe on one of the chairs.

"Tell me about it," Emma groaned, holding her foot as she stumbled towards her bed.

"What?"

"Nothing. Long night."

Raising her eyebrow, Regina offered a sympathetic smile.

"Sorry I woke you up," the blonde mumbled. "Stupid chair."

"Yeah," Regina chuckled. "You're also kind of a klutz."

"Hey, shut up. So what if I'm not graceful?"

"Seriously, though… Why are you all wet?"

"I, um… showered at Belle's dorm."

"Is that why you're wearing such skimpy clothes?" the brunette teased with a grin.

"Shut up, Mills. I'll hurt you. For real."

"Oh, I could take you."

"I seriously doubt that."

"Yeah? You really think you'd win?"

"Of course I'd win. Do you even lift, bro?"

Regina burst out laughing at this and shook her head, saying, "God, you're a loser."

"At least I'm not a wimp!"

"You know what? Come get some, bitch!"

Emma hesitated at first, but when she saw Regina grinning, she quickly stood up and charged the girl's bed, stopping just short of it.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Fight me, punk!"

When Regina held up her fists and tried to hold back her laughter, Emma tackled her and pinned her to the mattress with ease. Of course, this surprised Regina enough to stun her into silence. Their smiles fell as Emma stared down into her eyes and bit her own lip.

"I win…"

"Yyyep. I'd say so."

Feeling her own body pressed and molded perfectly into Regina's, Emma's breaths grew shallow as her heart raced.

"You, uh… gonna get off me, or…?" Regina asked playfully, but when Emma said nothing, her hands subconsciously went to the girl's waist, and her fingertips lightly brushed exposed skin of her hips. "I guess that's an 'or' then…"

"S-Sorry," the blonde muttered, but she remained frozen as she stared down at her roommate's full, red lips.

"So… I assume you made up with Belle, then?"

Emma blinked a few times to clear her head before saying, "Um… yeah," and rolling onto her side to lie beside the brunette.

"That's good."

"Yeah."

When Emma didn't say anything else, Regina asked, "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

But she was still staring at Regina's lips.

"You had fun, I assume."

"Huh? Oh. Yeah."

"Did she, um…" Regina started. "Did she… get what she wanted?"

Slowly, Emma replied, "Yeah, she did."

"And what about you? Was that what you wanted?"

"Sure. I mean, why would I do it if it wasn't?"

"I don't know. I mean, some people would do it because they felt guilty."

"I did feel guilty, but that's not why I did it."

"Good. You should do what makes you happy."

There was an uncomfortable pause before Emma asked, "What makes you happy?"

"Gosh, I don't know. Taking pictures, I guess. Developing film by hand. Animals."

"All wonderful things."

"What about you? Like, in general."

"Art, of course. Eating. Talking to you makes me feel pretty chill. Some other things."

"Talking to me?"

"Well, yeah. You're pretty cool, Mills."

"Pretty cool," Regina repeated.

"Yeah."

"Alright. What else?"

With a laugh, Emma rolled onto her back and looked up at the dimly lit ceiling.

"What?" Regina pressed, her eyebrows furrowing.

"Getting laid."

"Okay. What else?"

"Getting high."

Regina turned her head to look at Emma, who didn't meet her gaze.

"You really do drugs?"

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes."

"Okay, a lot. So what?"

Suddenly, Emma was sitting up, so Regina followed suit, then said, "So nothing."

"You must be exhausted," the blonde said suddenly. "I'm sorry."

But when she moved to leave the bed, Regina grabbed her arm and told her, "No. It's okay."

Another awkward moment followed, where Regina's hand remained on Emma's forearm, and Emma was conflicted about what to do next, but when the brunette tugged on her arm, she took the gesture as a request and positioned herself beside the brunette once again.

"You have bad dreams a lot, don't you?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, I do. I get through it though. They're just dreams."

"They say dreams are just a manifestation of your fears and desires."

"What do you dream about, then?"

"Falling off balconies," Emma laughed lightly, shutting her eyes. "And getting chased by werewolves."

"What about good dreams?"

"Oh, those? Those I won't get into." With a grin, Emma winked suggestively in Regina's direction, then asked, "What about you?"

"I don't really… have… good dreams. I mean, I've had them before, but not very often."

"When was the last time you had a good dream?"

"Um…"

"It's okay. You can tell me."

"The night you told me about your awesome hate sex with Ruby."

"I didn't really  _tell_ you about it. I just sort of told you it happened. Anyway, what does that have to do with… Oh…"

"Don't laugh, okay? I just… I don't know. This is embarrassing. Can we change the subject, please?"

"Okay. What's your favorite color?"

"That's a stupid question. No one cares about that."

"Sure I do. Should I guess?"

"I bet you could."

"It's red, isn't it?"

Regina laughed and gave Emma's shoulder a shove.

"Knew it!" Emma cried, fist pumping the air as a gesture of her small triumph. "I'm the balls."

"Swan, you don't  _have_  balls."

"I didn't say I  _had_ balls. I said I  _am_ the balls."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Seriously, Mills? It means I'm awesome."

"Yeah, okay," Regina chuckled. "Whatever, kid."

"Hey! Don't call me kid!"

"You've called me kid!"

"That's different."

"Why?"

"Because no one who gets as freaky as I do could possibly be a kid."

"Right… Good point."

"I should let you sleep."

"Probably."

But, once again, when Emma sat up, Regina gently grabbed her arm, this time saying, "It's freezing in here."

Not taking the hint, the blonde asked, "You want me to turn up the heat?"

"You are the heat," Regina laughed. "Lay down."

Emma raised an eyebrow but did as she was told, propping her head up with her hand and leaning on her elbow as she watched Regina shut her eyes.

"Goodnight, Princess," she said softly, before settling into the mattress and shutting her eyes as well.

She wasn't sure if Regina heard her or not, but the girl's silence made her wonder and start to regret her choice of a pet name.

* * *

Emma woke the next morning to the sound of, "OH SHIT!"

"What? What, what, what?!" she gasped, scrambling to sit up but finding herself unable to untangle her legs, which had somehow become wrapped in Regina's.

In fact, they were pressed so closely together that they had created enough heat to make them sweat beneath the covers, and their thighs were sticking together slightly by the time they woke up.

"I didn't set my fucking alarm!" the brunette shouted, staring at the screen of her cell phone.

"What time is it?"

"It's fucking nine-thirty! My class started at eight!"

"Well, there's no use stressing about it now. It's just one class, hun. It's not gonna make that much of a difference."

"No, you don't get it! Our first portfolios were due today! It's worth twenty percent of my grade!"

"Okay, okay. Deep breath, alright? What time are your professor's office hours?"

"Three-thirty to four-thirty."

"Great. So here's what you do. You go to the nurse, barf in the bathroom, and get a note saying you're hella sick. Then, you give it to me, and I bring it to your professor with your portfolio. Problem solved."

At first, Regina wasn't sure how to take this. Why would Emma offer to go so far out of her way? Then, when she saw that the girl was completely serious, her expression softened and her racing heartbeat slowed.

"Would… Would you really do that for me?"

"Of course."

"What about your classes?"

"I only have classes between two and three-thirty today, so it actually works out perfectly. I got your back, Mills," Emma told her with a smile, giving her a firm pat on the back.

Regina fell backwards onto the bed with an exaggerated sigh and rubbed her temples, then asked, "Then what am I gonna do about my other classes?"

"Go to the nurse, then go to class. You have a break at one-thirty, right?"

"Um… Yeah? How'd you know that?"

"Uh… Your schedule is posted on your wall?"

"Oh. Right. Anyway, yeah. Why?"

"I'll meet you outside your classroom to grab your note and your portfolio. It'll work out great. No worries."

"Okay… Thank you."

"No problem, kiddo. Any time."

Regina scowled at the use of such a childish nickname but was unable to hold the face for long. Emma's smile was contagious, and Regina was so flattered by the gesture of kindness that she couldn't help but wrap her arms around the girl as she held her in a tight embrace.

"What's this for?" Emma chuckled, gently rubbing Regina's back.

"For being amazing."

"I'm really not-"

"You kept me warm all night, and now you're totally saving my ass  _and_ my grade. You are most definitely amazing."

"Amazing in bed, maybe, but not-"

"Oh, my God. Shut up, Swan," Regina laughed. "You're ruining it."

But she didn't pull away. Instead, she held the girl a little tighter and rested her cheek on Emma's shoulder.

"You're a good kid, Mills. I'm happy to help you out."

"I wish you'd stop calling me a kid," the brunette huffed, finally pulling out of the embrace. "And why do we keep calling each other by our last names?"

"I dunno. It just kinda happened. Why do you do it then?"

"Well, I just did it 'cause you did it!"

"Well, that's silly. If I jumped off a bridge, would you do that too?"

Regina shoved the girl's shoulder but laughed brightly.

Then, as though suddenly realizing just how close their bodies were, she wiggled away awkwardly and mumbled, "Sorry."

But Emma's hand rested on her shoulder before she could completely move to the other side of the bed.

"It's okay. You were keeping me warm too."

* * *

The two stayed busy over the next week or so, and, to Regina's surprise, Emma spent most of her time in the studio, painting and working on her portfolios for two of her classes. When they did run into each other, the interactions were brief, as they were both usually in a rush to get somewhere or do something (or one of them was sleeping).

Every night when Emma slipped back into the room, though, she always found Regina fast asleep in her bed. Unfortunately for Emma, the first time she found the girl gone, she had come in around three in the morning and was high on a mix of things.

_I'll just try to sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Oh,_ _**God.** _ _But… wait…_

As soon as Emma opened the door to their dorm room, she could see in the dim light that Regina's bed was made neatly – unlike Emma's – and that the girl was not in it. Immediately, her heart began to race, knowing that the girl was always asleep by eleven, usually earlier, and that she  _never_ stayed out later or spent the night in someone else's room.

Fighting a strange and sobering sense of panic, Emma pulled her phone out of her pocket and attempted to send a coherent text message.

_Wher u at?_

Once three minutes had passed, she sent another.

_U k?_

Again, no reponse. After another five minutes, Emma's panic became more intense, so she called the girl and waited anxiously for her to pick up. When Regina didn't answer, Emma left a voicemail.

"Yo… Where are you? You okay? Call me back. I'm worried."

She wasn't one to share her feelings, but the drugs lowered her inhibitions (and increased her paranoia) and made it easier to confess her distress. Ten minutes later, when she received no reply, she turned her phone's ringer on as loud as it would go, tucked it into her pocket, and left the room.

Knowing that all of the studios would be locked at night, she resolved to do the stupid, potentially dangerous thing: wandering the campus at night in search of Regina, just in case she happened to be outside. Just as luck would have it, once she'd made her way a few buildings down (stumbling most of the way), it started to pour, and it was only a few moments later that she found herself completely soaked from the rain.

"Jesus Christ," she mumbled. "Where the fuck is she?"

She wandered around clumsily for another thirty minutes, covering most of the campus, before nearly giving up on her quest.

"C'mon, Regina. C'mon."

Not caring if her phone got wet, she decided to call the girl again, and again _,_ she got no answer.

"C'mon, Regina. Pick up the fucking phone. I'm worried about you."

She tried one more time before she started to sweat, even covered in the cold blanket of rain. It didn't help that the drugs were still affecting her judgement (and her vision). After she pushed through a few more light hallucinations (small amounts of acid tend to do that), she decided to check their room again, hoping that the girl would have headed back to the dorm when it started to rain.

When she got to the room, it was still empty.

"Fuck!" she cried. "This has got to be the  _worst_ fucking time for this shit to happen."

She wasted no time heading back outside, feeling more desperate than ever. This time, realizing that there was only one more place on campus she hadn't checked, she made her way to the nearby sports field. To her relief (and horror), she found the girl sitting at the top of the bleachers. Of course, without thinking, she ran towards the girl and tripped as soon as she made the first stride up on the steps, falling nearly face-first but managing to catch herself with her palms. Of course, she bruised and scraped the skin there, but ignored the minor wound as she scrambled back to her feet.

Hearing the commotion and the loud bang as Emma fell down onto the metal steps, Regina lifted her head and stared in shock as the girl barreled towards her.

"Swan," she said. "What… What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, idiot!" the girl bellowed, looking terrified, relieved, and furious all at the same time. "What the fuck are you doing? Why are you out in the rain and-" she trailed off as soon as she saw the tears welling in her eyes (the ones on her cheeks were mixed with raindrops) "-What happened, babe?"

Even in her slightly sobering distress, Emma was having a hard time standing still and upright, still high enough to have her vision warped and her mind slightly muddled.

"What's wrong with you?" Regina asked, her confusion and concern expressed on her face.

"Uhhh…"

"Are you okay?"

Emma felt a wave of dizziness and tried not to laugh as she nearly fell on her ass, but Regina caught her arm and helped ease her down onto the bench.

"Fine. I'm fine. Perfectly fine."

Wiping her eyes on the back of her hand, Regina pressed, "Seriously, what's the matter with you?"

"Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Wait. Listen. I…"

"Oh, my God. Please tell me you're not-"

"I'm tripping, man," Emma groaned, then added, "Just a lil' bit. And you're not helping."

"Me?!" the brunette snapped. "What the hell does that have to do with me?"

" _You,_ " her roommate shot back, "scared the shit out of me. Now… Are you gonna tell me why you're out here in the pouring fucking rain, crying?"

"N-No…"

With a heavy, unintentionally exaggerated sigh, Emma reached out and touched the girl's soaking wet shoulder.

"You are spinning, dude," she told the girl, biting her lip, knowing the situation was far too serious for her to allow herself to laugh. "Seriously, though. Talk to me, babe."

"You're high," Regina sniffled. "You won't even remember this in the morning."

"That's… not…  _entirely_ true…" With another sigh, Emma removed her jacket and draped it over Regina's shoulders, saying, "You should have brought an umbrella."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine. You're-" Emma blinked a few times in an attempt to clear her head "-Is that a fucking  _bear,_ dude? Like, are you seeing that?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake. No, Swan. It's not a fucking bear, and  _no,_ I am not seeing that. You're fucking high as balls."

"I'm not  _that_ high... But it's not like I was expecting you to be outside in the pouring rain at four in the morning! I've been looking for you for like seven hours!"

"Nice. I can't believe you even found me if you're seeing fucking  _bears_ around campus."

"One bear. I see  _one_ bear. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. It has cubs!"

"Oh, my  _God!_ Are you fucking kidding me?"

By this time, Regina had stopped crying, completely distracted by Emma's absurd hallucinations and the ridiculousness of the situation. When the blonde said nothing in response, though, she went quiet too and found herself surprised at the girl's gesture of kindness and compassion.

"You walked all over campus in the pouring rain to find me…"

"Of course. You're never out late. You never go anywhere. I knew something was wrong."

"But you're tripping balls."

"I'm not  _that_ high! And I don't…  _Dude._ Can otters live on land? Cause, like. I'm seeing otters. Aren't they cute?!"

"Swan! For Chrissakes!"

"Sorry. Sorry. Anyway, of course I did. I… I care about you, okay? Jesus. Don't make it gay."

"You  _are_ gay, Emma."

"Yeah, well. So?"

"So  _you're_ the one making it gay."

"Whatever. Anyway, the point is, we're going back to the dorm to get you changed, and in the morning, when I'm not quite so high, we're going to talk about this."

"I'm fine. Just go back to the dorm, okay? I'm fine."

"You're not fine. You're hurt. And it's fucking freezing out here. So let's go."

When Regina tried to hand back her jacket, though, Emma refused and wrapped it around her shoulders again.

"Nope. You're gonna wear the fucking jacket. Now let's go."

She managed to stand, but Regina remained sitting, so Emma used all of her strength to drag the girl to her feet, nearly falling backwards in the process, but Regina caught her as she stumbled.

"God, you're a mess."

"You too."

"Shut up, Swan."

"We're going."

"No, I'm not. You are."

"You sound like a child. Let's go."

"Swan. I'm fine. Go back to the room. With the bears."

"I'm not going to argue with you while I'm balls deep in acid, man. And I'm not facing the bears alone. Let's fucking go."

With that, Emma tugged on the girl's hand and dragged her down the steps. In the silence, Regina's emotions had the opportunity to flood back in, and as she finally followed Emma to the dorm, she started to cry again. Emma didn't notice until they slipped inside their room and flicked the lights on.

"Hey," she said softly, stepping close to her roommate and cupping her face in her hands. "Hey. It's alright. Talk to me. What's the matter?" But at that moment, she had the realization that the girl was still soaking wet, and that she probably needed to change her clothes, so she told Regina, "Hold on a sec," and stumbled over to the girl's dresser, where she pulled out a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. "Here," Emma announced, handing over the clothes.

Of course, had she not been out of her right mind, she wouldn't have had the gall to dig through Regina's drawers. (Surely, Regina was capable of doing this herself). However, in her current state of mind, it seemed the most logical solution to the problem.

When Regina stared at her blankly, with tears streaming down her already wet cheeks, Emma offered, "Arms up."

Again, Regina said nothing and simply lowered her head to stare at the floor as she wiped her eyes on the backs of her hands, so gently, Emma lifted the girl's arms and positioned them in the air. She could see the girl shivering, so she fumbled to slip her shirt over her head and replacing it with the dry one. Sure, she took a moment to stare at her roommate's curves, but it was brief, and she tore herself out of the temporary stupor as soon as she realized what she was doing.

"Shorts."

"Um…" Regina protested quietly. "I… I got it."

The brunette blushed as she slid her shorts down past her ankles, stepped out of them, and took the dry ones that were being held out to her, but Emma didn't notice the red in her cheeks. Unfortunately for Emma, the girl's bare thighs were a little too much for her to tear her gaze away from, and until the new pair of shorts were completely covering them, she continued to stare.

"What…?" the brunette asked. "I…"

"N-Nothin'. You need to get your butt in bed. You're gonna be exhausted in the morning."

"I'm… I'm not going to class tomorrow."

"Uh…  _What?_ "

Emma blinked a few times, not sure if she was hallucinating the whole interaction or if she was simply going crazy.

"I said I'm not going to class tomorrow."

"But… dude… you, like… but… like…"

"Are you always this articulate?"

Even though it was clearly a sarcastic joke, the brunette was sniffling and continuing to cry.

"Only when I'm high, sweetie," Emma laughed, rubbing her own eyes in the hopes that that would help clear her head. "Okay, but really. Like… no. You've… gotta go to class."

"No. I really don't."

With that, Regina turned and made her way back to her bed, where she sat down, but made no move to get under the covers.

"Listen, you're acting all… like… crazy and stuff. So… I'm, like… gonna wake you up in the morning… and you're gonna go to class. Right now… just… like… sleep. Okay?"

Instead of responding, Regina simply shook her head and looked away.

"Alright, man. Really. What's wrong?"

"I'm not a man, you asshat."

Emma had to laugh at this. Regina Mills had just called her an asshat. Doesn't get much better than that. Her smile faded when she remembered the tears in the brunette's dark eyes, and she sat down carefully beside the girl on her bed, then wrapped her arm around Regina's shoulders.

"Talk to me, princess."

"Princess?"

"Shut up, Mills. Just tell me what's got you down."

"You're awfully persistent. And pushy."

With a sigh, Emma flopped backwards on the bed, nearly hitting her head on the wall, and stared up at the ceiling before saying a sincere and melancholy, "I'm sorry."

"I'm dropping out…" Regina said slowly, her voice cracking in the middle of the sentence as the lump in her throat returned.

"You're  _what?!_ " Emma cried, sitting up in an instant, making the room start to spin. "You can't!"

"I have to."

"What do you mean you have to? Why? This is everything you've ever wanted. You love photography and art and you-"

"My parents won't pay for it anymore, and I can't afford it. There's no point in finishing the semester."

"Oh, wow. I'm so sorry…"

"Yeah. Me too."

"C'mere."

Without waiting, Emma tugged the girl closer and pulled her into a tight embrace (probably a little tighter than she'd intended). Regina let out a choked sob and clung to her, burying her face in the girl's neck. The blonde stayed quiet for a while, until Regina finally pulled away, sniffling and wiping her eyes.

"I'm kinda glad you won't remember this in the morning."

"Hey. I'm not  _that_ high."

"This is so not funny."

"I'm sorry. But hey… I… dude. Bears?"

"No, Swan! There are no fucking bears. Jesus Christ."

The ridiculousness of the moment made her want to laugh, but the weight on her shoulders forced the impulse down and suffocated it before it escaped, leaving her only with a weak smile as she shook her head.

"You're a mess, dude. Go to sleep."

"You go to sleep."

"How about we  _both_ go to sleep?"

"Deal," Emma said happily, swinging her legs up onto the bed and wiggling back and under the covers. "C'mere." When Regina just blinked at her, she added, "Did you think I was gonna let you sleep alone after that? Besides, what if I wake up still tripping a little and see, like… more bears or something?"

Finally, Regina did laugh as she rubbed her eyes again, almost grateful for the fact that Emma was nearly unable to hold a serious conversation. At least she was managing to be supportive. Regina imagined that she must not have taken much, given that she wasn't falling on her ass or screaming about bunnies coming out of the wall to eat her face. If all she was seeing was a few bears, Regina could live with that. And amazingly enough, Emma was able to say all the right things, even in her current mental state. As weird as it was for her to have another girl beckoning her to come to bed, it was comforting.

At first, when Emma held her arms out, she hesitated, but when Emma said, "C'mere," again, she scooted backwards until the girl's arm was around her shoulders.

"Lean back," the blonde said softly. "Make the bears go away."

Regina couldn't tell if the girl was joking or not, but somehow, it was funny, so she laughed again and leaned her head back until it was resting against Emma's shoulder.

"The bears won't get you," she promised.

The blonde smiled as her eyes closed.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey," Regina said softly the next morning, as she lifted her head from Emma's chest.

The girl's arm was wrapped around her waist, keeping their bodies pressed each other. Regina blushed when she realized she could feel their legs tangled together again.

When the girl didn't wake, the brunette spoke a little louder, "Wake up. You've got class."

"Not if you don't," Emma mumbled, giving the girl's waist a gentle squeeze.

"You remember?"

Of course, Regina sounded surprised.

"Mmm. Bears. Shh. Sleep."

"Listen, Swan… You've got class, and I-"

"All aboard the Dreamland Express. Time for night-night."

"You're ridiculous," Regina chuckled, giving in to her roommate's adorable protests and lowering her head until it rested on Emma's shoulder.

Even though her heart was pounding, Regina didn't move to untangle their legs. There was something about the comfort of the heat she felt there they lulled her back into Emma's arms. Something she couldn't pull away from.

"Yeah, but you love me."

"Shut up, Swan."

Grinning at the fake irritation in the girl's voice, Emma pressed her lips to Regina's temple. As soon as she felt the kiss, Regina's body flooded with even more heat, and she could feel her cheeks burning.

Reaching up slowly and pressing two fingers to the pulse point of Regina's neck, Emma commented, "Your heart is racing."

In a sudden moment of panic, the brunette pushed Emma's hand away and protested, "No, it's not." When Emma just smiled knowingly and kept her eyes shut, she added, "Why did you do that?"

"Your breath hitched when I kissed your head. Naturally, that's what follows. I was just curious."

"Yeah, well… Whatever," Regina snapped, starting to pull away.

But their legs were tangled too tightly, and Emma's arm was too firmly wrapped around her for her to really wiggle out of the girl's grip, so she simply squirmed as her cheeks grew warmer.

"You could probably cook an egg on your cheeks right now," Emma teased, as she opened her eyes and saw the redness in the girl's face.

"Shut up, Swan!" Regina cried, shoving the girl's shoulder. "I-"

"You look especially pretty in the morning."

The smoothness of Emma's voice caught Regina off guard. It wasn't possible to blush more, so she looked away and tried to hide her face. Of course, there was really nowhere for her to go, so Emma chuckled and lowered her other hand to the girl's side. Using both hands, she tickled her until Regina cried out and tried to slap her hands away.

"Oh, my God! _Stop!_ "

"Not until you say, 'I'm beautiful.'"

"You're beautiful! Jesus fucking Christ!"

"Not me, idiot. _You._ "

Grinning, the blonde continued to torture her roommate as the girl squirmed even more violently in her arms. Their legs were too entangled for her to get kicked, so all she had to worry about were Regina's flailing arms.

It wasn't long before the brunette cried out, "I'm gonna fucking pee myself! Knock it off!"

"Say it, and I will!"

"Oh, my God! Alright! Alright!" Regina gasped. "I'm… I'm…"

In a sudden rush of seriousness, Emma stopped completely and stared into the girl's dark eyes when she opened them.

"Seriously."

"This is stupid. Let go."

"C'mon. Just say it."

"No."

"It's true, and you should believe it. And the first step to believing it is saying it."

"You're being an ass."

"I'm really not. Just say it and I'll let you go."

"For fuck's sake. I'm beautiful. Now piss off."

At first, Emma smiled, but it faded when she saw the distress on Regina's face. Clearly, the girl was far from comfortable with complimenting herself, and it was obvious that she wasn't used to receiving compliments from others either.

"You sure you want me to piss off?" the blonde asked slowly, her voice lowered slightly as she brushed her thumbs over Regina's hips.

Instantly flooded with confusion and a rush of adrenaline, Regina muttered, "I…"

This time, Emma pulled the girl a little closer, until Regina was nearly on top of her, then slid her hands up and over her back.

"You're okay."

There was a long pause as Regina continued to blush brightly, but the girl couldn't tear her gaze away. Instead, it locked onto Emma's bright green eyes and stayed there.

Eventually, Regina managed to squeak out a quiet, "You need to go to class."

Feeling her stomach turn, Emma let out a quiet, involuntary sigh and shook her head, mumbling, "I don't care about class. I care about you, and you're obviously not okay right now. I'm not going to leave you alone when you're suffering."

"I'm not suffering," Regina protested. "I… I just… have to deal with it. It's a reality of life. I knew this was stupid anyway. I'm not even any good. I don't know why I came here in the first place. I-"

"Okay, stop right there. You are _extremely_ talented. And you came here because you love what you do and want to be better at it."

"You're not helping."

"I'm not leaving you alone right now."

"Well, I don't plan to get out of bed for the rest of the semester, so… You're gonna have to leave sometime."

"Nah," Emma teased with a smile. "I'm good."

They spent the rest of the day in Regina's bed, lying beside each other and sharing some of their lives' stories. It was something neither of them had ever really done before. For Regina, most of her time was spent alone, and for Emma, most of her free time was spent high or fucking one of her 'friends.' Or both. Neither was used to sharing so much all at once, but for some reason, it felt natural.

"Alright," Emma finally said, when she noticed the alarm clock next to the bed read 5:14pm. "We gotta feed you. You haven't eaten all day."

"I'm not leaving. I'm too ashamed to face anyone. Don't make me go, okay?"

"Oh, we're going. You haven't eaten anything, and your stomach has been growling for an hour. Let's go."

"What makes you think you can tell me what to do?"

"'Cause you're a submissive little bitch?"

"WHOA. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. YOU-"

"I'm kidding! Kidding! Jesus," Emma cackled. "Jus' playin'."

"Fuck you, Swan. Seriously."

Finally finding the strength to push Emma away, Regina rolled out of the bed and rubbed her temples.

"Alright," she said suddenly. "You're right. I'm starving."

"Cool. Let's go to the dining hall and get some grub then."

"You're not ashamed to be seen with me?"

"You kiddin'? You're a total babe. Besides, I gotta make the ladies jealous. Adds to the appeal, ya know?"

"Oh, nice. So now I'm a pawn to recruit for your little harem?"

"Hey… I was just joking… I didn't mean-"

"Yeah, I know," Regina huffed, slipping out of her shorts quickly and pulling on a pair of jeans.

Emma stared for a while before managing to roll out of the bed and change her own clothes. When they were both ready, Emma grabbed the girl's hand and tugged her out the door and all the way to the dining hall.

"Um… Swan?" Regina asked, staring behind the blonde as they sat down at a table with their trays of food.

"Hmm?"

"Isn't that… Um…"

"Huh?"

When Emma turned around and saw what the girl was staring at, she shrugged her shoulders and said, "So?"

"So… Isn't she going to… Oh, boy."

"Hey, Em," the girl greeted the blonde, putting her hand on Emma's shoulder with a bright smile. "Last night was a blast. You were like… ridiculous. It was hilarious, dude. You wouldn't shut up about-"

"Bears. Yeah, I know."

"You remember that?"

"I wasn't _that_ high, Ruby."

"You were when you left."

"Oh, yeah. By the way… Thanks for making sure I got back to the dorm safe, you fucking asshole."

But Emma was laughing, so Ruby punched her shoulder and laughed too.

"You lived."

"Yep. Did better than that. I had a blast."

"Oh, really?" Ruby asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked past Emma at the brunette sitting across from her, who was blushing and avoiding their gazes.

"Yep," Emma confirmed, looking back at Regina with a smile.

"Uh… So that's awkward. I'm gonna go."

"Kay. Bye!"

"Wow. Really, Emma? That's low."

"If you can't handle me having other friends-"

"Friends. Right. Fuck you, dude. The least you could do is just be up front about it."

With that, Ruby turned and walked away, leaving Regina gaping at Emma in disbelief.

"What?" Emma asked. "What are you staring at?"

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You were provoking her."

"She's fun to rile up. Besides, the… well…"

"Make-up hate sex. I know."

"Yep. Love to get her pissed, man. Love it."

"Apparently, you love getting everyone pissed. And you basically just used me as a-"

"I was kidding, you know. And I really don't care if she thinks we're together. I did have a good time last night. I mean, aside from the freezing rain, the heart attack you gave me, and the fact that you were hurt."

"Uh… Then what exactly did you have a good time with?"

"You, dummy. Just being with you. And the trip wasn't bad either."

"Um…"

"Eat your food," the blonde joked to change the subject, pushing the girl's plate closer to her.

Regina did this in silence, until they were both finished with what was on their plates.

"Let's go watch a movie, yeah?" Emma offered, holding her hand out as she stood up out of her chair.

Hesitating but taking the girl's hand, Regina stood and nodded her head.

Back at the dorm, in the middle of the movie, Regina found herself blurting out, "What are you doing?"

"Huh?" Emma asked, turning to her roommate with a look of confusion.

"This. All this. What is this?"

"I'm… just… I thought I was being nice? I mean… I think you're great. I was just trying to be a good friend…"

"What does that even mean to you? Because from what I know about you, you don't really have friends. You have fuck buddies."

"Whoa, dude. What the fuck."

"I'm just saying."

"Yeah, well, don't. If you wanted me to fuck off, you could have said so twenty-four hours ago."

"Uh, I kinda did."

"Yeah. And I ignored you. Because you needed a friend, and I wanted to be that for you. But obviously, I don't have friends, so that was pretty pointless. Sorry to bother you, I guess?"

"Don't be like that. I'm just… I don't get you. I really don't. Because I know how you are with other girls, and it's just like… I don't know what you want from me."

"You're basically calling me a slut, you know."

"No! I'm not! I just meant-"

"I'm gonna go, okay? Give you some space. Because clearly, you… aren't interested in being friends with a total whore."

"Swan, don't-"

"I'll see you later."

As soon as Emma shut the door to their room, Regina started to cry.

"What the fuck is even your fucking problem?" Ruby snapped, as soon as Emma walked in the front door of the house. "Why do you have to pretend like you-"

She was silenced by Emma's lips, hungrily kissing hers. At first, she shoved Emma's shoulders until the girl stumbled back, but the blonde stepped closer again and repeated the action, this time cupping Ruby's face in her hands to pull her closer.

"What are you doing?" Ruby asked breathlessly, once Emma finally did pull away.

"We're making up. Now, shut up and kiss me."

"Fuck you. You can't even admit that-"

"Ruby. I'm not sleeping with her."

"Bullshit, Emma! I fucking know you. You're sleeping with everyone. Stop pretending like-"

"Let's get high, okay? I'm so fucking done with this. I don't want to fight or argue with you. You won't listen, and I can't convince you to, so let's just drop this and get fucked up."

Ruby raised an eyebrow and searched Emma's face for sarcasm or a joke, but she found neither there, so she shrugged her shoulders and turned to make her way up the stairs.

"What you got for me this time?" Emma asked, shutting the bedroom door.

"Oxy?"

"Yeah. I'm down."

It didn't take them long to find a party on campus. Later in the evening, Ruby finally warmed up and let her hands wander over Emma's sides.

"You done bein' mad?" the blonde asked with a smirk.

"Too high to be mad."

"Good. Does that mean you'll fuck me?"

"Any way you want."

"Ah, fuck, Em," Ruby moaned, once she'd finished, and pulled the blonde down on top of her. "That was…"

Emma lowered her head to the girl's shoulder and rested it there, catching her breath.

"I took way too much," she groaned. "The Captain Morgan didn't help."

"I love it when you're high. You're such a fucking animal," the brunette told her with a smile, stroking Emma's hair out of her face.

"Yeah. I try." Then, Emma started to sit up and muttered, "Should go."

"Em… You're really fucked right now. I don't think you should walk back to-"

Suddenly thinking of Regina and the small spat they'd had earlier, Emma changed her mind and sighed, "You think I should stay?"

"Yeah."

"Alright."

"Besides, I love when we wake up and fuck in the middle of the night."

When Emma went back to the dorm around ten the next morning, feeling dizzy and hungover, she was surprised to find large boxes scattered around the room, and Regina's mattress stripped of its bedding. Even the pictures that had covered Regina's side of the room were gone. There was a note on her desk.

_Swan,_

_No doubt you enjoyed yourself last night. Hopefully you make it to class today at least. Just wanted to let you know I'm leaving tonight. I packed most of my stuff this morning after my parents called. They're picking me up after dinner, around 9. Probably won't see you before then. Thanks for… well… whatever. Good luck._

_Mills_

"The fuck?" Emma gawked, as soon as she read the last word. She was leaving? And without an actual goodbye? There was no way Emma was going to let that fly.

Ironically, that was exactly when her phone rang.

"Hey. 'Sup?" she said into the phone.

"Hey, beautiful. You wanna grab lunch?"

"Not today, Belle. I feel like shit… I think I'm just gonna hang in the dorm."

"Is your preppy little roommate there?"

"No. Why?"

"Can I at least come bring you some food?"

"Nah. I'm fine."

"C'mon. You know you want company."

"I really don't, Belle. Thanks, though."

"Alright. Listen. I know you hate being alone, so what the heck is going on?"

"Nothing. I gotta go."

"Emma! What the f-"

But the call ended before the girl could finish.

Emma flopped back on her bed and stared across the room at Regina's bare walls. After a while, she found herself at her desk in front of her laptop, furiously typing as she took the only reasonable action she could think of.

Of course, when Regina went back to the dorm that night, the room was empty. She found a note on her bare mattress, though, written in red ink. Beside it was a large pile of paperwork.

_Mills,_

_This is a list of every single scholarship I could find that you'd qualify for, including a couple from our school. Deadlines are all coming up really soon, since the academic year is almost over, but they make their decisions by mid-July, so you'd know if you could manage it by then. There's lots and lots and lots of them. Some of them require the submission of an art portfolio, but I know any one of them would love your work. Please don't give up. At least apply. You belong here. I believe in you. Don't let your parents talk you out of this. You can make it work._

_Swan_

_P.S. I hope you're here when I get back tomorrow. Tonight I'm going to Belle's, to give you your space._

The girl's jaw nearly dropped to the floor, and once again, she started to cry. Her shaking hands dialed Emma's number on her cell phone.

Seeing the girl's name pop up on her screen, Emma moved to answer immediately, but Belle grabbed her arm and gave it a light tug.

"Hey. We're kinda busy here?" she pouted, pointing to her own wet lips.

"Shh," the blonde hissed, pushing Belle's hand away and answering the call.

"Swan," Regina cried, choking back sobs.

"Mills? What is it?" Emma asked anxiously, hearing the girl crying. "What happened? Are you alright?"

"I can't believe you did this for me. This was so, so kind, and I just… Why? Why would you-"

"Because I don't want to see you give up on your dreams, and I _know_ you can get some of those scholarships. There's work studies at the school too. You just can't give up. You can't."

"I won't. Thank you so, so much. No one's ever done anything-"

"Don't mention it."

"But you-"

"No. Really. Don't mention it. It's not a big deal. I'm just trying to help."

"But-"

"Look, I know I'm a whore, but it doesn't mean I can't care about you."

"I…"

"Listen, uh…" Emma started, then looked over at Belle, who was making the most irritated, impatient face she'd ever seen. "I gotta go, but, um… I'll see you around? You won't leave?"

"I already told my parents I'm finishing out the semester. I didn't tell them about the scholarships. If I end up getting any, I'll let them know then."

"So I'll see you, yeah?"

"I'll be here."

"Cool. I'll see you around then."

"Hey, Swan?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Do you think you might… I don't know… be back, like… before ten?"

"Um… probably not. But, I… Well… Do you want me to be?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line as Regina decided whether she wanted to lie or not.

"Doesn't matter. I was just… um… wondering."

"…Yeah. Okay. Well, I don't think you'd ask if you didn't care, so… I'll be back by ten. I'll talk to you later, okay? And, hey…"

"Yeah?"

"You should put those pictures back up."

Emma could hear the smile in Regina's voice as she said, "Bye, Swan."

"See ya, Mills."

"The fuck was that?" Belle snapped, as soon as Emma put her phone back on the nightstand beside the bed.

"That was my roommate calling. Problem?"

"Uh, yeah. We were kind of busy."

"Hey, you know what? You're kind of being a bitch, so I'm gonna go and let you cool off or whatever. Cause getting pissed over a phone call is a little ridiculous."

"Not when you were shoving your tongue down my throat."

"I'll see you around, Belle."

With that, Emma grabbed her phone and pulled her jacket back on, leaving the apartment without another word.

"Hey," Emma greeted Regina as she stepped into the room.

"Oh, shit!" Regina cried, startled as she spun around and dropped the handful of photographs she was in the process of hanging on the wall. "I didn't think you'd be back so soon."

"Yeah, well. I wanted to make sure you didn't change your mind."

When Emma offered a soft smile, Regina smiled back, saying, "You're amazing, Swan. Really."

"Still a whore, though," the blonde countered, forcing herself to laugh.

"Hey… Listen… I-"

"No. It's cool. I get it. Anyway, I'm glad you're staying."

"Yeah. Me too. Hopefully, I'll nail some of those scholarships so I can come back next year."

"Yeah."

"But, hey… Just think. New year, new roommate. Could be fun for you. Fresh meat, right?"

"Dude. That's not funny."

"Sorry… I was just teasing… I didn't mean-"

"Forget it."

"No," Regina snapped, grabbing Emma's wrist in a light grip. "That was a stupid fucking thing to say, and I'm sorry."

Emma looked down at the way Regina's hand was wrapped around her wrist and bit her lip.

"It's… It's fine, Mills. It's okay."

With a sigh, Regina said, "I'm exhausted. Like, emotionally. I just need to sleep for like a week."

"Alright. Let's do it then."

With a playful smile, Emma grabbed her hands and tugged her closer until she fell onto her bed and pulled the brunette down with her.

"Ah!" Regina cried, laughing as her body crashed into Emma's. "You're crazy, you know."

"Yeah, well. You love it."

"Oh, hush."

But when Emma caught her gaze, Regina couldn't help but blush.

"What?" the blonde asked coyly.

"N-Nothing."

"Your cheeks are awfully pink for it to be nothing."

"Shut up, Swan! Jesus."

"Alright. I'll be quiet. Let's sleep. I'm pretty exhausted too. I mean, I skipped all my classes, but still."

"You what?"

"Well… I was looking up those scholarships, and… it took a while…"

"Oh, Jesus. I'm so sorry. You really shouldn't have-"

"You would've left and given up if I hadn't, and I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I'd just let you go like that."

"That's so sweet…"

"Nah. Anyway, hush and get under the covers so we can sleep."

"You want me to sleep in your bed…?"

"Might as well. You're already here." With a wink, Emma pulled the girl a little closer, then said, "Besides, you seem to like waking up tangled in my legs."

"Stop teasing me," Regina snapped, her cheeks turning a deeper shade of red.

"Where is the lie though?"

The blonde was grinning, so Regina tried to shove her shoulders, but she found herself in an even tighter embrace in response. Unable to stop the sound form escaping, she let out a soft sigh as Emma reached up and ran her fingers through her hair. Hearing the sound, Emma repeated the action a few times, until Regina's eyes fell shut.

"Feel good?" the blonde asked softly, tangling her fingers in the girl's hair.

"Mhmm."

Feeling a rush of bravery and a sudden impulse to push the boundaries between them, Emma ran her fingers through Regina's hair again, this time gently using her nails. Another sigh escaped the girl's lips.

"Judging by the I'm-so-turned-on face you're making, I'd say you like that," Emma teased.

"Oh, my God! Shut up!" Regina cried, eyes snapping open as she slapped Emma's hands away.

"Just saying."

When Emma's gaze became serious, the brunette blushed, but found herself unable to tear her gaze away.

"It's okay, you know…" Emma said softly, her thumb brushing the girl's cheek.

She knew she was flirting, but definitely couldn't stop. With a beautiful, sweet, considerate, talented woman lying on top of her, it was impossible for her to behave any other way.

"I'm not… I…"

"Lay down. It's okay."

Still warm from the wave of embarrassment she felt, Regina attempted to relax as she moved to roll over next to Emma, but the blonde slipped her arm around her waist and held her still.

"I've been told my shoulder is comfortable."

After a moment of hesitation, Regina took the hint and rested her head on Emma's shoulder.

"There," Emma whispered. "Was that so hard?"

"N-No…"

After a few moments of silence, Emma resumed running her fingers through the girl's dark locks of hair and said softly, "You really are beautiful, you know."

"You… You shouldn't flirt with me like that…"

"No?"

"I'm not going to be your next booty call. That's not me. I'm-"

"Hey. Don't say that, alright? It's not like that."

There was a long pause before Regina asked, "Then what is it like? What do you want?"

"N-Nothing… I was just saying, because it's true."

"You're flirting."

"I'm not." After another bout of silence, though, Emma corrected herself, "Okay. Maybe I am."

"Listen. I'm really not into casual relationships, okay? I'm not even really into any relationships…"

"I'm not looking for anything from you, except your company. It doesn't have to be anything weird. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"It's… It's not that…"

"What is it then?"

"N-Nothing."

"Mills?"

"I said it's nothing!"

"Jeez. I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"Alright. Then relax. I know you're exhausted."

"I… I am, yeah…"

"Just rest. I'll hold you 'til you wake."

"Emma…"

"Yeah, babe."

"N-Nothing."

With a sigh, Emma gently guided Regina's head to her shoulder then slid her hand down to the small of the girl's back. Slowly, she slid her hand beneath the brunette's shirt and gently rubbed the skin there. Regina couldn't help but let out a long, deep breath as she let her body relax against her friend's. After a while, they both fell asleep.

"Swan?" Regina whispered, pressing her hand flat against the girl's collar bone. "Swan."

The blonde woke groggily and muttered, "Huh? What?"

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"There was a really loud bang."

"No, I didn't hear it. I was sleeping."

"Swan… Seriously. It was loud."

"It's alright, love. I'm right here."

Emma's hand was still tucked beneath Regina's shirt, so she gently rubbed her thumb over the skin there and absently kissed the top of the girl's head. Regina blushed in the darkness and felt a shiver shock her body.

"I…"

"Go back to sleep, honey. It was probably some drunk idiot knocking over a desk chair."

"But I-"

"Shh. I'm right here. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

Regina felt a rush of warmth spread through her as she registered Emma's words. They were too sweet. Too kind. Too intimate.

"Emma…"

"I got you." Emma pressed her hand flat against Regina's back and squeezed lightly, adding, "Get some sleep."

With a small nod, Regina lowered her head to Emma's shoulder once more and shut her eyes, but she found herself unable to fall asleep as the blonde's hand rubbed small circles over her back. It felt too good to ignore. She'd been too tired to stay awake before, but now that she'd be startled out of sleep, she was alert enough that the sensation was highly distracting, and she felt her nerves electrified at Emma's careful touch.

"You still awake?" Regina whispered, a little while later. When Emma let out a soft grunt, she added, "That feels good."

"You need to sleep. Do you want me to stop?"

"No…"

"Alright then. Hush."

"But I-"

"Mills."

Biting her lip, the brunette went silent and finally shut her eyes again. After some time, she finally fell back to sleep, lulled into a sense of security and comfort by the quiet sound of Emma's slow, steady breathing.

In the morning, Emma gave Regina's shoulders a careful nudge in order to wake her. She groaned as she slipped out of her dream.

"You okay?" the blonde asked, stroking the girl's hair.

"Mmm."

"What's the matter?"

"Don't wanna be awake. I was…"

When she trailed off, Emma pressed, "You were what?"

"I was dreaming."

"Was it a good dream?"

"I…"

When Regina slowly started to lean away, Emma's brow furrowed, and she tilted Regina's chin to look into her eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"It was just… um… weird."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, what happened?"

"I don't… I don't want to…"

"Aww, c'mon. It's just me, love. You can tell me anything you want to."

"It's stupid."

"Nothing's stupid."

"You, um… You kissed me…"

Emma paused briefly, feeling her heart stop. Regardless of how she told herself she was feeling, there was an undeniable reaction to Regina's words as she imagined the scenario that might have played out in the girl's dreams.

"And… And what was that like?"

"What?"

"What was it like?"

"What do you mean?"

"Was it good? Bad? Ugly?"

"It was… I…"

Regina was squirming, but her legs were tangled with Emma's, as was typical for when they slept in the same bad.

"Hey," Emma said softly. "It's okay. You can tell me."

But she felt a strange ache in her heart as she waited anxiously to hear Regina's thoughts. What if it was horrible? What if Regina was totally grossed out, and that was why she was pulling away? What if-

"It was good."

"In what way?"

Emma had to struggle to maintain the conversation as she pushed her own thoughts of the situation from her mind.

"I don't know. It just…"

"What happened, exactly?"

"Well, we… I… I was crying… and you picked me up and carried me to the bed…"

"Why were you crying?"

"My parents told me not to come home. They disowned me because I wouldn't leave school."

"What did I say?"

"You kissed the top of my head as you laid down next to me, and then you said I'd always have a home with you… And you touched my cheek and looked me in the eyes…"

Fighting the blush that threatened to warm her cheeks, Emma rubbed her thumb over the skin of Regina's lower back.

"Then?"

"I hugged you really, really tight, and you wiped my eyes. When I finally stopped crying, you pressed our foreheads together, and…" Sighing, Regina abruptly stopped the story, "This is stupid."

"It's not stupid. It's just a dream. It's alright."

"When I… When I kept looking you in the eyes, you bumped your nose against mine and smiled at me, and it made me smile too. You told me my smile was beautiful and touched my cheek again. I looked away, because I was really embarrassed and too shocked to say anything or tell you that you were wrong, and then you lifted my chin and looked at me…"

"Then?"

"You whispered that it would be okay, and then you… you kissed me. It was really slow and sweet, and you cupped my face in your hands for a while."

"Did you kiss me back?"

"I…" When Emma started at her intently, she finally managed to continue, "Yeah. I did. And you let your hand slide down around to the back of my neck and pulled me closer to make the kiss deeper, and then you pressed your other hand against my lower back to get my body closer, until I was completely pressed against you. And you just kept kissing me and kissing me…"

"Sounds pretty sweet," Emma said slowly. "Not such a bad experience."

"Yeah. It was sweet. It wasn't bad at all."

Hearing the girl admit that the dream hadn't been bad, the blonde finally blushed. To her surprise, she found her heart racing as she subconsciously reached up to stroke Regina's cheek with her thumb.

"Was there anything else?" she finally asked.

But Regina was frozen, overwhelmed by the intensity of Emma's gaze as the girl's green eyes pierced through her, so she said nothing and simply bit her lip.

"Tell me?" Emma asked gently.

"You made me moan. When you licked my bottom lip. It was really slow and gentle. It wasn't pushy or… or anything. It was just really sweet, and…"

"Sounds kinda… sexy…"

Unable to face the girl's stare any longer, Regina tore her eyes away and jerked her head to the side, her face turning bright red.

"Was it?" the girl's roommate pressed.

"I…"

"It's okay. You don't have to be embarrassed. You can tell me."

"But I-"

"It doesn't have to mean anything. It was just a dream, right?"

"Um… Yeah…"

But Regina could still feel her heart racing, especially as the heat radiating from Emma's body flooded her own and made her even more anxious than she already had been.

"Was it sexy?"

"Y-Yeah… It was."

There was a long pause as Emma for the girl to meet her gaze again, but when she realized that this wasn't going to happen, she slid her fingers through Regina's hair in an attempt to get her attention. It worked.

Remaining red-faced, Regina finally looked over at Emma.

"I just made things totally weird, didn't I?" she blurted, looking highly flustered.

"No! Honey, no. It's totally fine. It was just a dream. And we were really close last night anyway. I think it's normal to have those kind of dreams about the people you're close to every now and then. Sometimes the brain just kind of works through different scenarios while you're sleeping in order to process… um… whatever's going on in your head during the day…"

Hearing her own words, Emma blushed again. Was Regina thinking about it during the day too? Or was it just a weird, random dream?

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know. Nevermind."

"No, come on. If I have to talk and be honest, so do you."

"Alright. Alright. I guess I just meant… Sometimes people just have thoughts that they push aside during the day that they don't want to deal with, and dreams are a way of working through them without feeling all the intense, confusing emotions."

Regina was quiet for a moment before she said, "Oh."

"Do you… Have you thought about that before?"

Emma felt anxiety wash over her as she asked the question, suddenly and inexplicably finding herself hoping that the answer was yes. _What's going on with me?_ she wondered. _What the hell am I thinking?_

"I…"

"Mills. It's alright. Talk to me. I'm not gonna judge you. It doesn't have to be weird."

"Fine. Yes."

"Why do you think that is?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think is making you think about that?"

"I… I don't know," Regina replied honestly.

The truth was that the thoughts had simply shoved their way in, intruding on everything she'd told herself she was feeling before. And unfortunately, the sweeter Emma was to her, the more intense the thoughts became. And Emma was only getting sweeter by the day. Every little touch was so tender. Every word was so thoughtful. Every gesture of friendship was so kind and considerate. The girl went well out of her way to help her and support her, which was something Regina had never really experienced with anyone else before.

"Do you think maybe it's because you've heard about me being with so many other women?"

"Huh?"

"Maybe it's just made you a little curious?"

"I…"

Given that she hadn't really thought of it that way, Regina was slightly perplexed by the suggestion. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was all it was. All the talk about Emma with other women. Maybe she was just curious about what it would be like.

"It's okay. I've really gotten around. I guess a lot of women have been… I don't know. I guess you could say 'satisfied?' Maybe that's all it is."

"Swan. Come on."

"What?"

"I wish you wouldn't talk about yourself like that. Who you've had sex with doesn't change who you are."

"And who am I?"

"You're… You're the sweetest, most considerate girl I've ever met."

This earned a loud laugh from the blonde, who shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"You kidding? I'm a total slut. And I do things just to get my girls riled up. For my own benefit. I-"

"You don't intentionally hurt them. You just like getting them riled up. That's not the same. When you hurt Belle, you were sorry, and you felt bad."

"Well… Yeah, but-"

"No. You care about people. You're a good person. Liking sex doesn't change that."

"I guess… Anyway. You think you're just curious?"

"I mean… I've never had sex. So maybe my hormones are just… wonky. I don't know."

This also earned a laugh from Emma, who smiled and playfully poked Regina's nose.

"You're young. Having crazy hormones is perfectly normal. But you really think that's what it is? You're just horny?"

"I'm not horny! That's not what I meant! I just meant…"

"Why are you so ashamed to admit that you have sexual desires just like everyone else? You were so scared to admit that you had a sex dream after I told you about my rough sexual escapades. You don't have to be embarrassed. Especially not around me. If anyone understands, it's me."

"I… I know… I just… It's embarrassing anyway… But I don't think… I don't think it's… Maybe it is just curiosity."

"Alright."

Blinking a few times, Regina commented, "You sound… disappointed…"

"What? No. I just…"

"I was just saying," the brunette told her quickly. "Anyway… Is it ever… What's… What's it like to make new friends and be curious about them and not know if they're into you too? I mean, like… I'm just asking, 'cause I know you have… uh… casual… uh… relations, with people. I… Shit. Nevermind. That was stupid to ask. I'm sorry. I-"

But Emma jumped into her answer immediately.

"I mean, It's weird at first. It's not like I'm into all my friends. Just… you know… a lot of them. I sort of run with a similar crowd. I just sort of end up gravitating towards similar people. But it kinda works out, 'cause, like… I'm a really open person. So I'll talk about my life and kinda like… what I do on the weekends or whatever. Same way I kinda feel out if the other person is into tripping or whatever. You just sort of talk about yourself and what you do with other people and see what they say and how they react. If they're into you, they kinda just show it after that, when they realize what your lifestyle is."

"Oh."

"Why do you ask that, hun?"

"I was just… curious…"

"Is there anything else you want to know?"

"What was your first time like?"

"Oh, wow. Um… It was… It… I mean… It really should have never happened."

"What do you mean?"

"I regret it."

"Why?"

"Because it was with my best friend… and it ruined everything…"

Regina went quiet before reaching up and stroking the girl's cheek and saying, "I'm sorry."

"She was beautiful. It was freshman year of high school. Too early for me, honestly. We'd been friends since second grade. She knew I was gay. One day we were just laying on my bed in my room, listening to music, and she looked over at me and was like, 'Em, I think I'm into girls too.' So I asked her how she knew, and she just… leaned in and kissed me. I'd always been really into her, but I never told her, because I didn't want to ruin anything between us. When she initiated, I thought I was going to throw up. My heart totally stopped and exploded. I didn't tell her I had feelings for her, though. I just sort of let her fool around with me. It went on for months. I knew she was just experimenting with me, but I made the mistake of starting to think she might actually have feelings for me too. One night, she texted me at like three in the morning and asked if I could come over. Of course, I snuck out and went over in a heartbeat. Well… I tried to… I… I didn't want to do anything too heavy, really, but she… she really wanted to… and she pushed… and I was in love with her… so I let it happen. And when we were…"

When Emma trailed off, her voice cracking, Regina said softly, "You don't have to finish. It's okay."

"N-No… I… It's okay. She… I sort of said I love you while I was cumming. I couldn't stop it. It just… happened. She just got really quiet and then finally said, 'Yeah.' She stopped talking to me after that."

"Oh, shit, dude. That's horrible. I'm so sorry…"

"I guess that's why I don't really do relationships. I just ruin them."

"Hey… That wasn't your fault. You-"

"If I hadn't said anything, we'd-"

"She could have just been honest with you and told you she didn't feel the same way and moved past it. She could have stayed your friend. But she didn't. She bailed on you and abandoned you. That's fucked up."

With a sigh, Emma fell back against the pillow and shut her eyes, saying, "I guess so. Still feels like my fault. Some days I wonder what it would be like to still be friends with her. If I could go back, I wouldn't have done anything with her, and I wouldn't have told her how I felt. I would have stopped her and just stayed friends."

"There's a chance she wouldn't have wanted to stay friends without the benefits. From what you're saying, she sounds like that kind of a douchebag."

"Yeah… We were so close though…" Rubbing her temples, the flustered blonde added, "Anyway. I pretty much detached after that. Started throwing myself around. I let people use me. Now, I'm in control of my sexuality. I do what I want, with who I want, and it works for me. I don't let people walk on me. I don't get attached either. I'll sleep with my friends like I slept with her, but I won't let myself have feelings."

"It's not really something you can control. If you have feelings, you have feelings. You can't just decide not to."

"Well, I haven't had them since then, so…"

But looking into Regina's eyes, Emma felt her stomach flip as she questioned the truth of her own words. Something was different with Regina, and even though she couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was, it worried her.

"Alright. Then maybe you just haven't met the right girl. When it's time, I think you will."

"Yeah. Doubt it."

"You'll find the right girl, when it's time and you're ready, if you decide that you do want a relationship."

"I don't think I ever will be."

"Swan. Seriously. It'll work out."

"Alright, listen. I know you're just trying to be nice and everything, but, like… Who would want to be in a serious relationship with someone who's been passed around as much as I have? I'm good for a ride and that's about it. Any girl looking for a real relationship wouldn't want damaged goods."

"WHOA. You are _not_ damaged goods! You are a lovely young lady, and having sex does _not_ change that!"

"Yeah. Alright. Tell me _you'd_ be with someone who fucks anything that moves."

"I would be with someone I cared about and trusted and loved and admired for their kindness and strength, regardless of their romantic or sexual history."

Looking more than surprised, Emma asked, "Really…?"

"Yes, of course. I don't judge people based on who they have sex with."

Something in Emma's stomach flipped, and her heart stopped as she heard the sincerity in her friend's voice.

"That's… That's really admirable. Most people are quick to judge others for that kind of thing. If you mean what you said, that's a really amazing thing."

"I do mean what I said. Although, to be honest, I'd be intimidated, 'cause I'm scared I'll be horrible in bed. If I ever end up with a lover, anyway. Which I probably never will."

"Don't be ridiculous. You're fucking gorgeous. Anyone would be scoring the jackpot if they had a chance to be with you…"

"Don't say that," Regina sighed. "I'm-"

"You're perfect, Mills. Absolutely perfect."

"Like Hell I am."

"You are. You're gorgeous and smart and talented and sweet, and-"

"Stop it," the brunette snapped, suddenly sitting up.

"But it's t-"

"Enough."

"Hey. What's the matter? I was just-"

"It's not true, okay? If it was true, I'd have met someone by now."

"You're not even out of college yet. You have plenty of time to find the right girl. Just like you said to me."

"Except that you don't believe it either."

"Of course not. That's because-"

"Alright. Let's just drop it. Clearly, neither one of us is going to agree that we're worth anything more than a piece of gum on the bottom of someone's shoe."

"That's true." When Regina sighed, Emma opened her arms and added, "C'mere. Let me hold you."

After a moment of hesitation, the brunette nodded her head and wiggled back into the girl's arms, resting her head on her chest. Emma smiled slightly, unable to hide her reaction to the feeling of Regina's body curled against hers, and stroked her hair.

"We'll be okay," she said after a while, earning a slow, reluctant nod from her friend.

"I hope so."

"Do you want to go back to sleep?"

"We should go get breakfast."

"Good point. And I need a shower. I reek."

"Yeah, man. Gross."

Emma finally laughed and gave Regina a gentle shove.

"Alright. I'm gettin' up."

Regina nodded and rolled onto her back. She stared up at the ceiling as Emma climbed out of the bed, grabbed her towel, a change of clothes, and her shower caddy, then headed out towards the bathroom.


	4. Chapter 4

When Emma returned to the room, Regina was gone. A little confused, she made her bed and sat down on it, waiting patiently for the girl to return.

When the brunette returned, her hair was soaked. Clearly, she'd followed Emma's lead and slipped into another one of the stalls for a shower.

"Daaamn," Emma said loudly. "Love a girl soaking wet."

"Oh, my God. Shut up," Regina laughed, rolling her eyes as she sat down at her desk and started to brush her hair.

Emma just grinned and watched while the girl got ready for the day. Unlike Regina, she was ready in five minutes, after throwing her hair in a ponytail. When Regina turned around, she was surprised to find Emma wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses.

"Wow," she breathed, unintentionally staring. "You look…"

"Stupid, I know. I ran out of contacts."

"No… You look…"

"What?"

"Adorable."

"Oh, shut up."

"No, really... They look really good on you."

"Whatever, Mills. Let's go get some chow. I'm starving."

Rolling her eyes, Regina finished putting on her eyeliner, grabbed her purse, then stood up and made her way to the door. Emma followed her out, locking the door behind her. Half way to the dining hall, the blonde bumped her friends shoulder and looked at her with a sly smile.

"What?" Regina asked, squinting in confusion.

"You look extra super cute today."

"Shut it, Swan."

Still grinning, Emma took the girl's hand and held it the rest of the way. Once they were sitting down, Emma ate quickly, her hunger overriding any manners she may have had before that morning.

"You eat like a wolf," Regina commented with a laugh. "It's cute."

"You're cute."

"Stop it!"

"Eat your breakfast, punk."

Again, Regina rolled her eyes and lifted a forkful of eggs past her lips.

"So…" Emma started, after she'd cleared her plate.

"So what?"

"It's Saturday."

"And?"

"And we should do something."

"Like what?"

"Can I… Do you want to go bowling?"

Regina blinked, confused by the offer. It sounded an awful lot like a date.

"I, um… Sure."

"You don't have to say yes if you don't want to. I was just-"

"No, I want to. I could really use a break. I, uh… Don't really know how to bowl though. I've never been."

"Wait, _what?_ You've never gone bowling?!"

"Um… No…"

"Well, I'm gonna have to teach you a thing or two! I'm awesome at bowling!"

"I bet," Regina laughed. "What aren't you awesome at? You're especially good at being modest."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

Grinning, Emma stood and grabbed both of their plates, then made her way to the tray return.

* * *

"Alright. It's not that hard. You just have to learn the technique," Emma told Regina, standing directly behind her. "Hold the ball just like that. Perfect. Now…"

With a gentle touch, Emma pulled the brunette's arm back and pushed it forward.

"Work up a little swing. Look where you want the ball to go and focus on that spot. Right down the middle of the isle."

Feeling Emma's body close behind her, Regina felt herself grow warm. Not to mention, she was scared to make a fool of herself in front of her friend.

"Okay. Go ahead," the blonde said with a smile, stepping back.

Regina felt the wave of heat leave her body and sighed with relief as her muscles relaxed. Unfortunately, though, she was immediately distracted by Emma's smile, and as her heart raced, her nerves got the better of her, and the ball ended up in the gutter, which earned a laugh from Emma.

"It's alright, babe. Next turn."

Of course, Emma knocked over every pin on her turn. The next time Regina tried, she was determined to ignore the beautiful blonde nearby. Luckily, she succeeded at this and knocked down most of the pins. The blonde clapped and smiled brightly as she watched Regina walk back over to her.

"Good job, darlin'!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around the brunette and lifting her off the floor.

"Whoa!" Regina laughed. "Put me down!"

Grinning, Emma did as she was told and placed a quick kiss on the girl's cheek before grabbing her own ball and stepping up to the lane.

After the first game was over – Emma obviously won but congratulated her friend on her improvement – the blonde went over to the bar and ordered them each a beer.

"What?" Regina asked dumbly, staring at the plastic cup full of caramel colored liquid.

"It's for you. It's beer."

"I don't… I'm not much of a-"

"You don't have to. I just figured I'd get you one just in case. Have you ever even had beer before?"

"Well… Not… Not really."

"Not really, or no?"

"N-No."

"Try it. Most girls don't like it, but maybe you will."

"Most girls don't like it. Why would I?"

"I dunno. I like it. Just take a sip. If you don't like it, I'll drink it."

"But you already have one."

"I can have two," Emma chuckled. "Won't kill anyone to get a light buzz goin'."

"Um… Alright. Maybe just a sip…"

So Emma lifted the cup to Regina's lips, rather than handing her the cup to hold for herself. The brunette took a sip, then scrunched her face up in disgust.

" _Wow,_ that's bitter," Regina coughed.

"Just wait 'til you try whiskey."

"Uh… I don't think that'll be happening any time soon."

"I'll go order you a strawberry daiquiri. You'll like that one, I promise."

"I'm really okay. You don't have to-"

"Be right back!"

When Emma returned, she was holding a large glass full of frozen red liquid, topped with whipped cream.

"Alright," she announced. "Try this."

"Swan, I really-"

"Just try it. If you don't like it, I'll drink that too."

"Yeah, right."

"You think I can't stomach three drinks?"

"No, I just… Is that a good idea?"

"Try the damn drink, Mills."

Biting her lip before taking a sip from the straw, Regina tried the drink. To her surprise, her lips curled into a smile as the sweetness touched her tongue.

"Wow," she said, eyes widening. "That's _awesome._ "

"Knew you'd like that one at least." When Regina sat down at the table and continued to drink from the glass, Emma added, "Alright. Pound it back. We're gonna do this next round tipsy."

"I think it's a better idea to pace myself."

"Nah. Pacing is for pussies. Chug!"

Unable to stifle the laugh, Regina took another sip of the drink.

"That's it, girly. Knock it back."

Being a lightweight and not having had any real experiences with alcohol, the one drink served to give Regina a buzz, and before she'd even finished it, Emma had already downed both her beers and was feeling the sensation as well.

"Let's do this," the blonde giggled. "You're still gonna lose though."

But the alcohol took away from Emma's focus and relaxed Regina at the same time, so it turned out that Regina was the one to win the next game.

"What the fuck!" Emma cried, kicking the floor. "No fair!"

"No _fair?_ I beat you fair and square."

"I was tipsy!"

"So was I!"

With another wide grin, Emma pulled Regina close by the hips and draped her arms over the girl's shoulders and wrapped them around her neck.

"Good job, darlin'. Proud of you."

"Thank you… I try."

Although her natural instinct was to pull away, something about the buzz of the alcohol kept Emma's body close to Regina's as she leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. Again, the brunette felt warmth flood through her.

"Swan…"

"Yes, Mills?"

There was a pause before Regina suddenly said, "Nothing," and broke away.

A little confused by the sudden cold shoulder treatment, Emma blinked a few times before grabbing her jacket and gathering the rest of their things.

Once they were back at the dorm, Emma cracked open a bottle of beer and took a few sips as she watched Regina wander over to her bed.

"You okay?" she finally asked, noticing that Regina wasn't looking at her.

"Mhmm."

"Have a beer."

"Uh… No thanks. One sip was enough for a lifetime, I think."

"No, this one's different. It's raspberry. You might actually like this one. Still a little bitter but sweet too. Just try it."

Once again, Regina found herself pleasantly surprised by the flavor on her tongue and offered a small smile.

"Not bad, actually."

"Here," the blonde offered, holding out another one. "Twist off top."

When she tried to open the bottle, though, she found that the cap was on a little too tight and that attempting to twist it hurt the palm of her hand.

"I got it," Emma said with a smile, taking the bottle back and twisting off the cap almost instantly before passing it back.

Of course, after they'd both finished their bottles, they were far less than sober.

"Come here," Emma said playfully, patting the spot next to where she was sitting on the bed.

"Huh?"

"C'mere. Sit with me."

"It's late. We should sleep. I'm kinda… drowsy..."

"Just come here."

Regina couldn't resist the girl's warm smile, so she sat down next to her as she let out a yawn.

"Lay down with me."

"Swan. I have my own bed. I should probably sleep in it."

"Why? You love sleeping with me. I keep you warm."

"Hey, shut up. I…"

Emma wrapped her arms around Regina from behind and pulled her backwards until they were both laying horizontally on the bed.

"You get to be little spoon," Emma told her, squeezing her arms around the girl's waist.

"What if I want to be the big spoon?" Regina asked slyly, her words slurring together slightly.

"Tough titty. Now relax."

She wanted to protest, just to be playful, but when Emma ran her fingers through her hair, Regina melted into the mattress and leaned her back against the girl's chest.

"There. Little spoon's not so bad, is it?"

After a pause, Regina told her, "I don't want to spoon."

"You really like laying on top of me, huh?"

Blushing slightly, Regina said nothing, but Emma pulled back on her shoulder to signal her to roll over, which she did without hesitation. The blonde smiled as the girl's body melted into place above her and they met each other's gaze.

"What you smirkin' at, punk?" Regina asked with a grin, earning a laugh from her companion.

"Your pretty face."

This rendered Regina silent as she stared into Emma's eyes.

After a few minutes of quiet, the brunette blurted out a quiet, "You're beautiful."

Emma quickly shook her head, but Regina reached up and turned her chin until they were looking at each other again.

"I mean it," she said.

"Don't tease me."

Raising an eyebrow, Regina offered a coy reply, asking, "Why not?"

"Because it… Don't."

As her heart began to race, Emma felt the familiar sensation of being in an alcohol-induced fog and found herself wondering if Regina was feeling similarly. As the girl reached up and cupped her face in her hands, a tingling sensation shot down her spine.

"But I like it when you blush."

"I'm not blushing!"

"You are, a bit."

"Shut up, Mills!"

"Why don't you make me, Swan?"

"I'm about to wipe that fucking grin right off your pretty face!"

"Oh yeah? How?"

"I'm gonna… Well…"

But Emma trailed off as a wave of passion flashed in Regina's eyes, catching her off guard.

"Didn't think so."

Scowling, the blonde started to roll away, but Regina caught her by the hips and pulled her closer instead.

"Hey!" Emma cried, wiggling in the girl's arms.

"Shh. Come here."

When Regina stroked Emma's cheek with her thumb, the girl shivered and allowed herself to ease back into a closer position.

"I really care about you," the brunette told her candidly, the alcohol clearly lowering her inhibitions.

"I… I care about you too. A lot."

"You are such a wonderful girl."

"Mills. Knock it off."

"No."

"Listen. You're a little drunk, and I-"

"So?"

"What do you mean 'so?'"

"Being tipsy doesn't make it any less true."

"Sure it does."

With a sigh, Regina rested her head on Emma's shoulder.

"You're so comfortable."

"Good. I'm glad."

"I'm really glad I met you."

"What's making you say that?"

"Just being here with you. Feeling your arms around me."

"Well, that was a little corny," Emma giggled.

"Shut up, Swan."

"I'm just playing, love. It's okay."

Emma smiled and slipped her hand beneath the hem of Regina's shirt, rubbing gentle circles on her back.

"That feels good."

"Good."

After a while, just as she felt herself falling asleep, the brunette sat up. Emma opened her eyes when she felt the girl move away.

"What is it?" she asked, looking concerned.

"Nothing. I just wanted to look at you."

Feeling her stomach flip, Emma looked into her companion's eyes and waited for her to speak again. This didn't happen, so she reached up and stroked her thumb over Regina's cheek. To the blonde's shock and surprise, the girl leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. Muscles involuntarily flexing, Emma gave her waist a small squeeze.

"Emma."

Hearing her first name pass Regina's lips for the first time, Emma immediately turned red and felt her stomach heave again. She loved the way it sounded, coming from her. Swallowing hard, she found herself unable to speak, but she didn't break the gaze. Eventually, Regina reached up and wiped her thumb over Emma's lips, making the girl's breath hitch in her chest.

"What are you doing?" she breathed.

Yes, Regina had said she might be curious, and they'd certainly gotten used to being _very_ close physically over the time that they'd known each other – probably a little closer than _friends_ should get – but this was different. Regina was touching her lips now, and their hips and foreheads were pressed together.

"I don't know," Regina confessed. "But I don't know how to stop."

Still, she froze for the moment, waiting for Emma's response. When it didn't come, but she felt the girl's hands start to shake as they pressed gently into her lower back, Regina finally leaned in to close the last inch of space between them. At first, Emma felt her heart explode as the sensation of her companion's petal-soft lips pressed against hers, but when Regina continued the kiss, she finally mustered the courage to reciprocate. It lasted a long while, until Emma reached behind the girl's neck – just like in Regina's dream – to pull her closer. Remembering the look of embarrassment on the brunette's face as she'd recounted the way Emma had used her tongue in the dream, Emma slowly slid her tongue along Regina's bottom lip. Just like in the girl's fantasy, this earned a soft moan.

Every time Emma made any move to break away, Regina leaned in and pressed their lips together again.

"Regina," Emma finally breathed.

"Don't stop."

So Emma continued the kiss until their hands were wandering and they were both out of breath.

"What?" Regina asked anxiously, as Emma bit her lip and stared up at her.

"N-Nothing… I just… You're… You're tipsy, and… and I don't want to take advantage of you. I just… I don't…"

"You don't want this? I mean, I know I'm nothing special – I'm nothing like your other girls – but… I just thought… I guess I was getting mixed signals. I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you into something you didn't want to do."

The brunette pulled away quickly and stared to roll away, but her companion gripped her hips and held her still.

"I didn't say that."

"Well, what is it then?"

"I just told you. I don't want to take advantage of you when you're tipsy and-"

"It's not the alcohol that's making me lose control. It's you."

"What?"

"It's the way you've been looking at me. Touching me. Holding me. Teasing me. I just can't hold back anymore. I know this doesn't mean anything to you, but-"

"Wait. Mills. _Regina_ ," Emma emphasized the girl's first name to get her attention. "It does mean something. To be honest… It… It means everything. I've never felt like this before. I've never wanted someone the way I want you. I've never wanted to wake up next to someone the way I want to wake up next to you. I don't want to sleep alone anymore. With you, it's not… It's not lust. It's…"

"What?"

"I…"

"Emma?"

Again, Emma shivered when she heard her own name pass Regina's lips, but she managed to reply, "I can't. I can't say it. It's stupid."

Regina looked a little confused at first, then surprised. Then, she cupped the girl's chin and looked into her eyes, saying, "Tell me."

"You're really gonna make me say it?"

"Yes."

"It's not lust. It's love, okay? Jesus."

By this point, Emma's face was entirely red, and her heart was racing as embarrassment flooded her.

"What?" Regina gawked, staring at her companion in shock.

"I love you, okay? Fuck. I'm sorry. I know that's crazy. I know it is. I just-"

"Wait…"

"What?"

"I love you too, Emma."

The blonde's eyes went wide when she heard the words, and her heart nearly stopped at the sound. Instead of speaking, Regina leaned in and kissed her lips again, this time slowly and with more care and tenderness. Emma pressed her hands flat against the small of the girl's back to hold her closer and returned the kiss, her eyes falling closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not 100% sure where to go with it now. Next chapter may take a while. Thanks for reading and sticking with it guys!


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh, holy shit," Emma groaned, upon waking the next morning. "What the-"

"Shh. Don't move. My head is splitting."

It was then that Emma became aware of Regina's arms wrapped around her torso and the brunette's head on her chest.

"Mills…"

"Shh."

Heart racing, feeling confused, Emma tried to slow and deepen her breathing, but her breaths continued to be shallowed and forced. After a while, Regina finally sighed and spoke.

"You're anxious."

"Yes…"

"Why?"

"Because I… You… We…"

"Yes."

"But-"

"Do you regret it?"

"N-No."

"Then hush. Go back to sleep. And stop squirming or I'm going to be sick."

"Are you okay?" Emma blurted hurriedly. "Do you need a bucket? Should I walk you to the bathroom?"

"No, Swan. Hush."

Slowly, Regina reached up and covered Emma's mouth with her hand and left it there. Too stunned to move, the blonde froze and simply placed her hands on the girl's back once again, leaving them there as she felt every one of Regina's breaths. A while later – Emma couldn't sleep, no matter how hard she tried – Regina began to whimper softly in her sleep, so her friend rubbed her back gently until she settled again. When Regina nuzzled her cheek against Emma's chest, Emma felt more sure than ever that she was in love.

It was an hour later that Regina finally woke, and when she did, Emma had only just finally fallen asleep herself. Because she was only sleeping lightly, she woke with a start as soon as she felt Regina's weight shifting slightly on top of her.

"You okay?" Emma asked, subconsciously stroking the girl's dark locks of hair away from her face.

Regina simply nodded and smiled, lifting her head slightly to look into Emma's eyes.

"What?" she asked, upon seeing the confusion in her friend's bright eyes.

"I just… I feel like I imagined last night. Like it wasn't real. But you said…"

"It was real."

"But-"

"It was real, Swan."

Emma bit her lip.

"Do you regret it?" Regina asked again, searching Emma's eyes for a lie as she replied.

"No."

"Then what are you so anxious about?"

"N-Nothing. I mean… Everything. I…"

"Everything?"

"Y-Yeah."

"I don't think I've ever actually seen you get nervous before."

Emma grumbled her reply.

"Yeah, well… It's not really my style."

"I like it."

"Well, I certainly don't!"

"You don't have to be shy around me, though. You can tell me what you're thinking. If you didn't like it, just say so."

"No! Mills, no. I-"

"Regina."

"What?"

"Call me Regina."

"Alright… Regina. I don't regret it. I did like it. I…"

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"What does that mean?"

"What do you mean, 'What does that mean?' It means I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. I'm glad you don't regret what happened." There was a short pause before Regina added, "I should get up."

"Why? It's still early."

"I feel sick, and I… Oh, fuck-"

Jerking herself out of Emma's arms, Regina leaned over the side of the bed and expelled the contents of her stomach onto the floor. Luckily, the floor was linoleum and not carpeted.

"Oh, God," Emma gasped. "Shit. I never should have let you drink! Fuck!"

"I'm… I'm fine… Just… Just let me clean this-"

"No way. Go to the bathroom. Take a shower, okay? Just try to relax. If you need to throw up again, just let it happen. It'll pass. I'll clean up."

"Ew! No! You're not-"

"Go shower."

"But I-"

"Go!"

Looking surprised at the command, Regina untangled their limbs and wiggled out of the bed, grabbing her towel before leaving the dorm room.

When she returned, the mess was cleaned up, and Emma was sitting on her bed, anxious once again, but this time feeling guilty for having allowed the girl to drink as much as she had (which hadn't even been that much). Apparently, Regina's stomach was just sensitive.

When the girl returned from her shower looking exhausted, Emma stood immediately and put her hands on Regina's shoulders, asking, "Are you okay? Did you throw up again? Let's go get you some ginger ale to settle your stomach."

"Emma, I'm fine."

"But-"

"Shh. I'm fine."

When Regina's careful hand reached up to stroke her cheek, slowly, with tenderness, Emma froze.

"There. That's better. Now calmly and quietly get dressed so we can go eat something greasy and disgusting."

"What?"

"Hurry up, would you? I'm starving."

"How can you be-"

"Are you going to stand here and argue all day while I starve to death, or are you going to take me to get food?"

Emma couldn't help but laugh at this as she gave Regina a playful nudge.

"Alright, alright. I'm going."

* * *

 

Almost as soon as they sat down at a table in the dining hall, Emma was unlucky enough to find Ruby approaching the table. At first, she swallowed hard, her bright and cheerful laughter abruptly ending as she looked up at the girl, who was staring at the two seated at the table.

"Uh… Hey, Rubes," she said, her voice slightly shaky.

Then, Emma realized that she was nervous and internally scolded herself. Why should she be embarrassed? Why should she deny or avoid talking about the one thing that had made her truly happy? Hook-ups, partying, and drugs could only give her so much satisfaction. This girl… Regina… She'd given Emma everything, and it was nothing to be ashamed for.

"You're totally fucking her, aren't you?" Ruby blurted, immediately noticing the glow surrounding both of them and the increased chemistry that flowed between them.

"What?" Emma gaped.

"You heard me."

"Actually, we-" Regina started, but Emma set her fork down and interrupted right away.

"So what if we are?"

"So you fucking lied to me!" Ruby screamed, causing several heads to turn in their general direction.

"I didn't lie to you."

"So, what, it just started? You didn't mean for it to happen? It just kind of… did? You slipped, tripped, and landed on top of her, naked?"

"What's it to you?"

"You're a liar, Emma. You fucking other women like the slut you are doesn't bother me. Being lied to does."

That was all Regina needed to hear for her rope to snap, and she stood up instantly, shoving Ruby backwards as hard as she could, until the girl stumbled against a large trash can. Emma stood up and immediately moved to grab a hold of Regina, but the girl had already advanced on Ruby again, this time swinging her arm back and bringing it in contact with her jaw before the blonde could stop her hand.

"Regina!" Emma screamed, scrambling to pull her away.

Finally, she managed to hold her back, just before she swung again, as Ruby covered her jaw, which was already swelling.

"You fucking bitch," Ruby cursed, taking several steps forward as she glared at Regina.

In response, Emma stepped backwards, pulling Regina back with her, then stepping forward between them once Regina was out of the way.

"Enough!" Emma shouted. "You're going to get us kicked out! Now, stop it!"

Quickly, Ruby responded, "Fuck you, Emma," and took another step forward.

"Let's go, Regina."

"No fucking way," Regina hissed. "I'm going to teach her a lesson. I'm going to-"

"No you're not. We're leaving.  _Now._ "

Despite Regina's best efforts, she was weaker than Emma, and the blonde was easily able to gently drag her out of the dining hall.

On the way out, Regina turned to look back at Emma's former partner and warned her, "You call her a slut again, and I'll fucking kill you."

Once they were outside, behind the building, Emma looked her dead in the eyes and asked, "What the hell was that? Are you insane?"

"She called you… I…"

"I heard what she called me. She was just hurt, Regina. And jealous. And upset. She didn't mean it."

"I don't care!" the brunette cried, throwing her arms up. "She can't fucking talk to you like that!"

"It's fine. Really. It's not personal, and I know that. Besides, she's right. I told her nothing was going on."

"Well, it wasn't, when you told her that!"

"That's not the point. She feels betrayed by me, and she kind of was."

"I don't care. She can't call you that and get away with it!"

Distracted by the vibration of the cell phone in her pocket, Emma looked down and opened the message she'd just received.

' _ **Slut.'**_

Of course, it was from Ruby.

When Emma sighed, Regina asked, "What?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"Emma."

With another sigh, Emma handed the girl the phone.

"I'm going to fucking-"

"No. No, you're not. You're going to take a walk with me, and you're going to cool off, and then we're going to go back to the dorm and watch a movie."

"I don't want to watch a fucking movie! I want to slit her fucking throat!"

Eyes wide, Emma took both of her hands and said, "I've never seen you this upset."

"I've never  _been_ this upset."

After a short moment of silence, Emma let go of the girl's hands and put her own on Regina's waist, slowly walking her backwards until her back was against the brick wall of the building. When Regina's breath hitched, Emma stepped closer and stroked her hair back.

"Emma…"

"It's okay."

"Emma."

"Regina, it's okay. Relax, alright? Just… relax."

When the girl opened her mouth to protest, Emma pressed their lips together and kissed her slowly, tangling her fingers in Regina's soft locks of hair.

"Come on," she said, once she'd finally broken the kiss. "Let's go for a walk."

They walked in the woods for an hour or so, joking and laughing the whole way, until finally, they returned to the edge of the woods.

"So…" Emma started, looking out at the campus.

"Wait."

But before Emma could question this, Regina backed her against the nearest tree and kissed her hard.

* * *

 

Shortly after they walked in door to their room, Emma's phone rang.

Sighing, Emma told her roommate, "It's Belle."

"Answer it."

"What?"

"Just answer it."

"Why are you fine with Belle and not Ruby?"

"Just talk to her."

With a nod, Emma answered the call on the fourth ring.

"Hey."

"So you really pissed Ruby off today."

"Yeah, I know."

"I heard your girl knocked her out."

"Well, that's horseshit. It was one punch. And if Ruby can't take a punch, then-"

"Really?"

"What do you mean? Yes. One punch. I was there."

"Oh. Wow."

"What?"

"She…"

"She's a drama queen, Belle. I'm telling you, it was one punch in the jaw. I mean, she got her pretty good, but she definitely wasn't knocked out."

"Jeez. What a baby."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"How come she likes it rough in the bedroom and can't even take one punch from a sissy little-"

"Hey! Enough!"

"Just saying."

"Yeah, well, don't."

"A little snippy today?"

"Yes."

"Alright. I'm sorry," Belle told her. After a pause, she added, "You didn't deny it when I called her your girl."

Emma froze.

Given the silence in the room, and the volume of the phone, Regina could hear the entire conversation, and was watching intently for Emma's response.

"No, I didn't," she finally answered.

"Oh."

"I mean… It's not… We're not… official or anything…"

Regina raised her eyebrows and stared. Was Emma really confessing that something had happened between them? And to Belle, of all people?

"No?"

"We kissed, okay?"

"Mhmm. Sure."

"Jesus, Belle, come on. I'm not going to give details."

"You fucked her pretty brains out, didn't you?"

"Belle, stop it!"

"Why? Is she there?"

"Oh, my God. Stop."

"You're right. I'm sorry. It's none of my business. We both agreed that whatever was happening between us was open. I shouldn't even be asking. I guess I just wanted to know what was going on with Ruby. Sorry."

"It's alright. Listen, I gotta go, but… We can talk tomorrow, if you want."

"Yeah. Okay. Night, bitch," Belle joked, forcing a laugh.

"Night, brat."

As soon as Emma was putting the phone away, it buzzed. The text message was from Belle.

_**'Does this mean we have to stop?'** _

Emma bit her lip and raised the phone, showing Regina the screen.

"What?" the brunette asked. "What do you want me to say to that?"

"N-Nothing. I just… wanted you to know what she said."

"Why?"

"Well… I don't know. I mean… I guess I just… don't really know… what… we… are…"

When Regina sat down on the bed, Emma felt her palms begin to sweat.

"What do you want us to be?"

"That's up to you."

"Well, I don't want to be your fuck buddy. I already told you that."

"Then what's this all been about? I mean, why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Kissing me. Touching me. Flirting with me."

"Because I love you. Because I couldn't wait any longer to find out what it would feel like."

"What what would feel like?"

"What it would feel like to kiss you."

"Was… Was it okay?"

Laughing, Regina stood up and kissed Emma's forehead, telling her, "Yes. It was good. Otherwise, I wouldn't have kept doing it sober."

"So… So what is this, then?"

"I don't know. Like I said, I don't want to be your fuck buddy. But… I'm glad I found out what it was like. I'm glad I got a taste of loving you. Now I know why the girls fall all over you."

"Regina…"

"What? It's true."

"I don't want us to stop."

"No?"

"No, I don't. And I don't want other girls."

Involuntarily, Regina raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"You… You don't?"

"No, I don't. I want you."

"Are you… like… sure? Because if you-"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Emma-"

But Emma was distracted by typing a short reply to her friend.

' _ **Yes. I'm sorry. You're still my best friend.'**_

Before hitting send, she raised the screen again so that Regina could read it, but the girl looked away quickly, before she could read the words.

"What?" Emma asked, confused by the gesture.

"You don't need to show me that. I don't need proof that you-"

"I just told her we have to stop, but that she's still my best friend."

"Emma, you didn't have to-"

"I'm done with other girls. All I want is you."

* * *

 

The next day, Emma decided to have breakfast with Belle. After a few minutes of awkward small talk, Emma sensed how artificial the conversation was and interrupted Belle's comments about the weather.

"What are you really thinking?"

"What?"

"What are you thinking?"

"I… I just… I'm going to miss it, that's all."

"Miss what?"

"Us."

"Belle, we're friends. We've always been friends. And we always will be."

"I know, Em. But… It won't be like it used to."

"No, it won't," Emma said plainly, looking deeply into Belle's eyes.

She could see pain there, and although she didn't quite understand it, she saw it, and it made her feel guilty.

Then, Belle said, "I just really enjoy your company. In every sense. It will be hard for me to change the way I act around you. Even when I'm pissed at you, I want you."

"Belle…"

"It's not like that. I'm not saying… It's not… I just… You're a good fuck, okay? It's just going to be hard getting used to you being exclusive with someone else."

Raising her eyebrows, Emma watched as Belle looked away and started to blush.

"I love you, Belle," Emma finally confessed. "I just… romantically… and sexually… I want something deeper. I want something that isn't just for 'fun,' you know? I'm ready to stop playing around. I want to settle down. You understand, don't you?"

"I never thought I'd hear you say that," Belle chuckled, looking up. "I want you to be happy, Em. Whatever makes you really, truly happy… I want that for you."

"Wow… Jesus, Belle…"

"What?"

"I'm just… Thank you. Thank you for saying that. I want that for you too, Belle."

Pushing through the ache in her stomach, Belle reached out and squeezed Emma's hand, assuring her, "I love you, too, you know. You're my best friend."

With a sigh and a smile, Emma told her friend, "You're so amazing. Even though you can be a total bitch sometimes."

"Alright. Enough mushy shit. Are we going out tonight, or what?"

Emma paused, her hand tensing beneath Belle's as she tried to conjure up an appropriate answer. Should she go out? Was that even a good idea? What would Regina say?

"I, um… I don't know. Maybe?"

"Maybe…?"

"Yeah. I'll let you know later, okay? I gotta get to class."

"Your class isn't for another forty minutes, and-"

"Bye, hun. I'll talk to you later."

After placing a quick kiss on Belle's cheek, Emma rose from the table and nearly bolted out of the dining hall.

* * *

 

Back in the dorm room that night, Emma sat on her bed as Regina sat on her own.

"So… Belle wants me to go out tonight…" Emma started.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." When Regina didn't reply, the blonde added, "So…"

"So what?"

Starting to sound slightly exasperated, Emma whined, "So what should I do?"

"What do you mean? Why are you asking me? Do what you want to do."

But Emma could see that Regina was uncomfortable, and that the prospect of her going out. Emma was sure that Regina knew it meant using drugs, and that in the past, it had also meant hooking up with other women, including Belle.

"I want… I mean…"

"What is it, Em? Just tell me."

"I don't really know how to have fun without hooking up or being wasted."

Looking slightly surprised, Regina asked, "So all the time we spent together… watching movies… going bowling. That was… what?"

Emma thought about this and considered the question carefully. Regina was right. She'd had fun with her, numerous times, and she'd done it without help from drugs or sex. She had been buzzed when they went bowling, but she wasn't high, and to be fair, the night had been more than 'fun.' It had been wonderful. And it was all because of Regina.

"Hey… Um… Listen… I… I've never been able to do things, except artsy stuff, without getting high. But with you, things were just… easy. But those things… bowling, watching movies, relaxing together, just talking… that was special because of you."

Regina raised an eyebrow and watched Emma's expression.

"You mean that?"

"Of course. I'd never lie to you, Regina," Emma told her, then reached for her phone and started to type.. "I'm telling Belle no."

"I wouldn't lie to you either…"

After a pause, the blonde said, "Then tell me a secret."

"What?"

"A secret. You know… something most people don't know about you that you normally keep private."

"It wouldn't be much of a secret if I told you, now would it?"

"I can keep a secret."

"Why do you want to know one?"

"Because I think people are defined by their secrets. I think it says a lot about person, what they decide to withhold from others. What they choose to keep private. And I want to get to know you better. I want…"

"Yes?"

"I want to know you better than anyone."

"Okay. Come here, then."

"Huh?"

"Just come here. Sit with me."

So Emma stood and walked over to Regina's bed, sitting down beside her. As soon as she was there, the brunette pushed her down gently and curled against her side, sliding the palm of her hand over Emma's stomach.

"What… What are you-"

"You want to know a secret?"

"Yes…"

"That night I got a little drunk?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to fuck you."

Swallowing hard, Emma turned her head to face Regina and stared into her eyes, checking them for any sign of a joke. She found none. She was being serious.

"Is that weird?" Regina blurted suddenly, breaking the awkward silence.

"What? No! I mean… No. I just. I…"

"It was totally weird, wasn't it? I shouldn't have told you that."

"Regina, wait. Listen." Slowly, Emma reached up and stroked the girl's cheek, explaining, "I wanted that too."

"Well, you always want that," Regina chuckled, gently pushing Emma's hand away. "You're constantly horny."

"No. Regina."

"What?"

"There's something about you I can't resist. I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."

Startled by this, Regina said nothing. Instead, she simply stared at Emma and tried to breathe slowly in order to slow her heartbeat.

"Is  _that_ weird?"

"No… I just… I'm surprised. I'm really nothing special, Emma. I'm just… me."

"You're perfect, Regina. There's nothing about you that I don't like."

This earned a blush from the brunette, who turned her face away, but Emma turned it back and looked into her eyes before softly kissing her lips. The slow-burning kiss lasted a long time, and the longer it went on, the more desperate they became for increased contact, until Emma's hands were wandering beneath the hem of Regina's soft fitted T-shirt.

"I don't know what to do," Emma finally breathed, breaking away. "I fell so hard for you."

Stroking her thumbs over Regina's hip bones made the girl twitch beneath her fingertips, and when Emma felt it, she smiled.

"I love that," she said, pressing her forehead lightly against Regina's. "I love feeling you react, or making you blush."

"I don't blush!" Regina cried, starting to push Emma away.

Quickly, grinning, the blonde teased, "You do!" and covered her companion's face with kisses, causing Regina to squirm beneath her as she began to laugh brightly.

"Emma!" she shouted. "Stop it!"

But Emma refused, continuing to kiss her, but her pace slowed as her mouth wandered south, landing on the pulse point of her neck. After a few chaste pecks, Emma parted her lips slightly and sucked on the skin there. When the sound of Regina's quiet whimper filled her ears, she bit down lightly and flicked her tongue over the playful bite.

"Emma," Regina gasped. "Fuck."

"Alright. Alright," the blonde sighed. "We should stop."

"What?"

"This is moving too fast. You're new to all this, and I don't want to take advantage of you. We should take it easy until you're really comfortable with everything that's happening. If you even want it to happen. I'm never going to pressure you into doing anything you're not ready for."

"Who said I'm not ready for it?"

"What exactly is it you think you're ready for?"

"You. I want you."

With another sigh, Emma stroked Regina's hair back and kissed her forehead, saying, "I know you think you want it now, because your body is reacting, but I think that if you really thought about it… you'd want to wait too. And the last thing I want is for us to do something and have you regret it later. The last thing I want is… is to lose you…"

Voice lowered, Regina replied, "You're not going to lose me. I'm crazy about you, Emma."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good… Because I'm crazy about you too."

* * *

 

"Good morning, Princess," Emma whispered, kissing Regina's temple and stroking her cheek to wake her. In response, Regina simply grumbled and tried to roll over onto her side, away from Emma, but the blonde gave her torso a gentle squeeze and held her close, telling her, "Rise and shine, buttercup."

"Nooo," Regina moaned, trying to push herself away from Emma, but she found the embrace so warm and comforting that she melted back into the girl's arms in submission and rested her head back on Emma's chest. "Not awake yet."

"Breakfast time."

"I'm not hungry."

"You will be, once you're up and showered."

"Yeah, but-"

"Shh. Up and at 'em."

"Emmaaaaa."

"Yes, love."

"Can't you just stay in bed with me and hold me all day?"

"No, babe. We've got class, and it's uppy time."

With a huff, Regina replied, "Fine," and finally wiggled out of the girl's embrace, slowly slipping out of the bed.

Once she was showered and ready for the day, she found that she was, in fact, hungry.

"You coming with me to eat?" the brunette asked her companion, unable to hide the hopefulness in her voice.

"Yeah, babe. I'll escort you anywhere you want to go."

"Good. Then you can walk me to class after."

The girl's bright smile and shimmering dark eyes made Emma's stomach flip.

In the dining hall that morning, once the two were sitting at a table, laughing at Emma's horrible, corny jokes, Emma saw Ruby out of the corner of her eye. She was in the back of the dining hall, enthusiastically kissing the neck of a girl Emma didn't know.

"Gross," Emma laughed, nodding in Ruby's direction. When Regina started to stand, though, Emma grabbed her hand and pulled her back into her seat, saying, "Sit. You're fine. It's fine."

"Doesn't that bother you? It's fucking gross."

"Honestly? No. Ruby deserves to be happy. I don't think she'll find it like that, but she has the right to try."

"She's obviously trying to make you jealous."

"She probably didn't even see me."

"She just looked right at you."

Emma whipped her head around and looked at Ruby, their eyes meeting. When Ruby grinned at her, she turned back around to face Regina.

"Whatever. I don't care. Anyway, it's not really that gross. We used to do that too."

"Seriously? In public?"

"Well, not in the dining hall, but at clubs and stuff. Anyway, it's not big deal. So what if she's trying to get a rise out of me? It's not going to work."

With a weak nod, Regina turned her attention back to her half-finished plate of food. They sat quietly for a while before they both noticed someone approaching the table.

"Um… Hey," the girl said, looking at Emma and Regina.

Both of them raised their gaze and found Belle standing there, staring awkwardly.

"Hey, Belle," Emma said, clearly uneasy about the prospect of having the two girls near each other.

"Can… Can I sit?"

After looking at Regina and receiving a nod, Emma turned back to Belle and said, "Of course you can. If you play nicely."

Belle offered a weak smile and sat down slowly, setting her tray down on the table.

"Thanks. I guess I just… I wanted to say… I wanted…"

Both girls watched as Belle nearly squirmed in agony, clearly struggling to form whatever words she was trying to say.

"It's alright, hun. Just say it," Emma offered. "It's okay."

"I wanted to say that I'm happy for you. Both of you. And that… that you'd better take good care of her, or I'll probably slit your fucking throat."

The last comment was clearly directed at Regina. To Emma's surprise, her companion just laughed and nodded her head.

"I will," she promised.

"Good," Belle said, nodding her head. "Seriously, though. You both deserve to be happy. It's going to be weird to have my relationship with Emma change, but I want her to have what she really wants, and that's you."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Belle tried to look happy, but even through her smile, there was sadness in her eyes.

"Do you… Do you guys want to come out tonight?"

"Um… Both of us?" Regina questioned, clearly surprised at the offer.

Emma looked surprised too as she waited for Belle's next response.

"Yeah. Both of you. I definitely don't want to go out alone, and I don't think you trust me to be with your girl by myself."

"That's only half true, actually," Regina told the girl, glancing over at Emma.

"What do you mean?" Belle asked.

"I don't know you well enough to trust you, but I trust Emma. I don't care if she's alone with you."

"Wow. That's some solid shit right there."

"What?"

"That kind of trust is hard to come by. You guys obviously have a good relationship."

"We're not even… We're not even official, Belle. It's not really a 'relationship.'"

"Well, she's certainly not just hooking up with you. She's in it for the long haul, and she's madly in love with you."

This brought a heavy silence that hovered over the table. Emma was blushing, telling Regina, without words, that this was true. Finally, Belle offered a genuine smile and squeezed Emma's hand.

"You two should stop holding back and make it official," Belle told them. Life is too short to waste time feeding into your inhibitions and worrying about things going wrong. Taking chances is the only way to be happy in this life."

"Wise words, coming from someone who never does their homework," Emma teased her.

"Hey. Wisdom comes from experience, not studying."

"True story," Regina chimed in with a smile.

"So, what do you think?" Belle asked. "Are you guys coming out of what?"

They shared a glance before Regina replied nervously, "I'm… I'm kind of a prude. I don't think I'd be very much fun."

"Oh, we'll show you how to have a good time," Belle said with a grin. "Don't you worry, sweetheart."

* * *

 

The pounding of the music in the club made Regina's head ache almost instantly, but she pushed through it, squeezing Emma's hand. It was obvious to her companion that she was nervous.

As they made their way to the middle of the dance floor, Emma leaned in close to her ear and asked, "You've never been to a club, have you?"

"Nope," Regina confessed. "Never."

"That's okay. We'll show you how it's done."

"Emma… I can't even dance. I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I should have stayed home… I'm totally going to ruin your-"

"Oy," Belle shouted. "Quit bein' such a pussy. Look, it's simple. DJ plays music, you back ass up onto Emma's crotch and grind on her. Easy peasy."

"What…?" Regina gawked, looking anxiously over at Emma.

Emma blushed and looked down, automatically scanning Regina's body and licking her lips at the prospect of dancing with her.

"Look, if you don't want to do anything, we can just hang out and listen to the music, okay? It's fine," Emma comforted her. "Just relax, alright? We don't have to dance. Do you want to go sit down?"

"Oh, no you don't," Belle interjected "You're not pussying out of this. Time to have some real fun."

To Emma's shock and horror, Belle reached out and pressed a small tablet into her hand, then did the same for Regina. Of course, Regina stared down at the item in her hand, completely confused.

"What is this?" she asked nervously, looking up at Belle.

When Belle just grinned at her and said, "Party time," she turned to Emma, who was red in the face and trying not to pass out from embarrassment.

"It's… It's nothing. Give it to me."

But when Emma held out her hand to take the tiny object, Regina closed her hand and looked back at Belle, asking, "What is it?"

Belle answered her with enthusiasm, "It's how I'm going to teach you to have a good time. Just put it in your mouth and swallow like a good girl, yeah? Unless you're too much of a pussy, that is…"

"Regina," Emma cut in. "Give it to me."

As Emma tried to pry the girl's hand open, Regina jerked it away, saying, "I'm not a fucking pussy," and popped the pill quickly into her mouth before Emma could grab it.

"Are you fucking insane?" Emma shouted, glaring at Belle. "She's never done-"

"She'll be fine," Belle laughed, shoving Emma's shoulder. "Relax. When did you get so uptight? Even little Miss Prudey Pants is down to party. Just fucking take yours and have a good time like we always do. Show your girl how to have fun."

"This isn't how-"

"Oh, my God. Seriously? Just take it, Emma. Don't be such a square."

When she looked over at Regina and saw the girl smiling, Emma sighed and popped the pill into her mouth.

As soon as Regina turned to look around the room, Belle subtly pressed another tablet into Emma's hand, knowing it would take her more to reach the high. Looking apprehensive but choosing to ignore her inhibitions, Emma took the pill. Belle disappeared for a while, after saying she'd 'be right back,' content to entertain herself by flirting with women at the bar. After some time of standing awkwardly, wondering with the effects of whatever she'd been given were going to kick in, Regina took a few steps closer to Emma and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Em?"

"Yeah, babe," Emma answered, kissing the girl's cheek.

"I feel weird."

"Bad weird? Good weird?"

"I don't know. I feel… jittery. Like I've had too much caffeine."

Unable to hold back a smile, Emma said, "Yeah. Just wait. It gets better."

Soon, Regina started to relax. Emma's heart skipped a beat when her companion moved closer to her, stepping in front of her and putting her hands on her waist.

"You know something?" she asked with a bright smile.

"No. What?"

"You're fucking beautiful."

"Regina…"

But before Emma could continue her protest, Regina's lips were covering her own, passionately kissing her, until the girl's tongue was in her mouth, searching for more contact.

"You taste amazing," Regina told her, once she'd finally pulled away, leaving their bodies pressed together.

Distracted by staring deeply into each other's eyes, neither noticed when Belle reappeared beside them, until they heard her raise her voice over the music, saying, "Well, well, well. Don't we have the sexiest couple in the club right here?"

"Belle!" Emma cried, intending to pull away from Regina to shove her friend for the comment.

But Regina held her close and continued to stare at her, mostly ignoring Belle.

After a few moments, she said, "I don't know how to dance. Show me."

Heart pounding, Emma stammered, "I… Um…"

Then, Belle jumped in quickly, telling them both, "Oh, I got this," and moving so that she was standing behind Regina. "Turn around," she said in Regina's ear, slowly twisting the girl's hips to move her.

Once her back was to Emma, Belle gently pushed her until she took the final step backwards, leaving her back pressed against Emma's chest.

"Bend forward just a little bit and swing your hips."

"I…"

"Don't you want her?" Belle whispered, gently stroking Regina's hair back.

When Regina nodded enthusiastically, Belle gripped her hips and moved them for her. As soon as Emma felt the friction as she watched Regina move in front of her, her heart raced even faster than before. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead.

"Emma, come on," Belle laughed. Pull her hips back. You know how to do this."

Cautiously, the blonde put her hands on Regina's hips and pulled them back gently, until the friction against her crotch increased. As Emma pulled her back, Regina became lost in the moment, and Belle removed her hands, no longer needing to encourage either of them as Regina shut her eyes and moved to the music. By the time this happened, her head was spinning, and the drug was taking over, erasing her inhibitions and stopping her nerves from getting in the way.

"Now, that's more like it!" Belle laughed, stepping back. "I'll be back later. You two have fun."

As Regina became more comfortable in her own skin, sweating out most of her anxiety, and grinded more confidently against her companion, Emma lost herself in the sensations.

"Fuck, Regina," she breathed heavily. "You're so fucking hot."

Regina just laughed at this, smiling brightly and continuing to drive Emma wild.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Head's up, my lovely readers. I have a feeling that some people might not like this chapter, or may feel that I took things too far/made them too intense, or that the plot is no longer realistic. However, it came out the way I wanted it to. So hopefully this will please some of you at least and that it will be enjoyable enough to continue reading. My apologies for taking forever to update. I appreciate all the readers and reviews I have gotten and will continue to do my best to give you an engaging story that is at least worth the read.

_God, I want her so fucking bad,_ Emma's thoughts raced. She almost gave in to the urge to drag the girl into the bathroom and fuck her right then and there. But she resisted, just barely, and simply enjoyed the pleasure of having the girl grind on her to the beat of the music as she drowned in the euphoria.

When the club was finally closing, the three met outside, and just as Emma was turned around to walk away and Regina was about to do the same, Belle grabbed the brunette's hand and pressed a small baggie into her palm.

"You're welcome," she whispered. "Make sure you share. Oh, and by the way… I think Emma might benefit from being taken down a peg, if you know what I mean. And I think you're just the girl to do it. Good luck."

Belle left, and Regina followed Emma back to the dorm. Only once Emma had left the room to get ready for bed – mostly down from her high – did Regina pull the baggie out of her pocket. When she saw its contents, a small amount of white powder, her heart quickened its pace once again. As soon as the door began to open, she shoved it back into her pocket and glanced up at the door, looking guilty.

"Well, don't you look like the cat who ate the canary," Emma laughed. "What did you do?"

"N-Nothing."

"Bullshit."

"Alright. Fine," Regina snapped, throwing the baggie onto her desk, which had been cleared off earlier that day. "Show me how."

"What the fuck, Regina! Where the hell did you get that?"

"Not the point. Show me."

"No fucking way. Give me that."

But when Emma reached out to grab the baggie, Regina's hand swiped it away and clutched it in her fist.

"Don't be such a pussy, Emma," Regina mocked.

"I'm not a pussy!" the blonde cried, diving for Regina and knocking her onto the bed, landing on top of her as she tried to pry the girl's fist open. "Stop it! You're fucking high right now and you have no idea what you're doing."

"Bullshit! I'm not high. It wore off like twenty minutes ago, and the crash fucking sucks, so stop being such a scaredy cat and show me how to do it."

"Regina. No. No. Fucking. Way."

"Alright. Easy enough to figure out. Why don't I just… call Belle?" Regina threatened, swiftly grabbing Emma's phone off the nightstand and unlocking it.

"Don't you fucking dare! Are you fucking crazy?"

"Maybe."

"You need to go the fuck to sleep and sober up. Now, give me the fucking bag."

"Or you'll what?"

"What do you mean?"

"Give you the bag or what?"

"Or I'll… just… leave…"

Regina burst into a fit of laughter at this and shook her head, saying, "I dare you."

With a sigh, Emma slid her hands down Regina's sides and pressed their foreheads together.

"This is a really, really bad idea."

"If you don't show me, she will."

"No, she won't…"

But Emma didn't sound sure. In fact, she was pretty positive that the idea of corrupting Emma's perfect girlfriend was intoxicating to Belle, and that she was enjoying it immensely already.

"Let's find out."

When Regina made a move to open the contacts list on Emma's phone, the blonde snatched the device away and threw it across the room onto her own bed.

"You're insane."

"Maybe I just want you to show me a good time."

"We can have a good time without it! This is crazy. Didn't we already have a good time?"

"Why should it end?"

"Because you're crazy."

"I might be. Try it with me. If I don't like it, or if it goes bad, I'll never do it again."

"No way. I'm not letting you-"

"I'm a grown-ass woman, Swan. It's not up to you. But if you want, you can join me." When the girl said nothing, Regina added, "Please, Emma. I don't want to do this with anyone else. I want to do it with you."

"Alright. Alright, fine. Give me the bag."

Finally, Regina handed it over, but to her surprise, Emma got off her immediately and retreated to the other side of the room, clutching the bag tightly in her fist.

"Now, fucking go to sleep!" Emma shouted.

"You bitch! Give it back!"

"Tell you what. If you can get it back, I'll do it with you. If you can't… I win and this shit gets flushed."

Regina's next move shook Emma to the core. In an instant, Regina was tearing off her own clothes and throwing them across the room by the door. First, her shirt, then her jeans. Then, she advanced on Emma. Before jumping on her any trying to pin her down, though, Regina unclasped her bra in front of Emma for the first time and let it fall to the floor. Staring in shock, taking in the glorious sight of Regina Mills only in her panties – _red lace panties_ – Emma swallowed hard and froze, her fist still tightly closed.

"What… What are you doing?" Emma gaped.

"I'm seducing you."

"It's… You're…"

"Give me the bag, Emma."

"Or… Or you'll what?" the blonde said, stumbling over the words, despite her desire to exude her nonexistent confidence.

"Or I'll have to punish you."

Eyes wide, Emma stared as Regina straddled her confidently.

"Regina, wait…"

But Regina was already reaching over into the drawer of Emma's night stand, pulling out the leather whip the blonde stored there.

"What the… How did you…?" Emma started, but Regina clutched it tightly in her hand and squeezed Emma's neck with her free hand.

"I know where you keep your toys, Emma. You're not subtle." When Emma tried to push her away gently, Regina pushed her back down on the bed, saying, "Oh, no you don't. You don't get to tease me, tempt me, seduce me, and get away with it. There are _consequences,_ Emma."

Eyes wide, mouth watering, Emma froze and dropped her free hand to Regina's hip, still clutching the baggie in her other.

"Now," Regina said softly. "Be a good girl and give me the bag."

"No!" Emma cried. "I'm not-"

She was quickly cut off by the tightening of Regina's grip around her neck, which caused Emma to open her hand involuntarily and drop the baggie on the bed. After cracking the whip once, she go of the whip and Emma's neck, then took the bag.

"There. Now, let's do this."

"You've completely lost your mind."

"No, Emma. I'm just tired of you being in control of everything."

"Hey. That's not-"

"Get up."

In response to the demand, Emma cried, "I can't! You're on top of me!"

"Oh, that's right. I am."

Slowly, Regina dragged her nails down Emma's sides, just beneath her shirt, and dismounted her, standing next to the bed.

With a sigh, Emma sat up and said, "I'm not doing this."

"I am."

As Regina dumped the contents of the baggie on top of a text book, Emma dove at her and grabbed her arms, holding them behind her back.

"No, you're not."

But Regina was quick, and before Emma could stop her, she was elbowed in the ribs, causing her to cry out and let go.

"Jesus Christ, Regina!"

"I'm not stupid, you know. I can figure this out on my own. Just roll up a dollar bill and snort it, right?"

"Regina…"

"Movies make it easy, right? I guess I don't need you to show me anything. If you don't want to join me, fine, but I'm doing this."

With a sigh, Emma put her hand flat on Regina's back, gently stroking there with her thumb.

"Just take it easy, alright? Let's talk about this. You're a good girl, Regina. You don't need to do drugs to-"

"I just want to try it, for fuck's sake! You do it, so why can't I?"

"You're not me!"

"And you're not my mother!"

"Alright. Alright, fine. Let's just fucking do this."

Grabbing a dollar bill from the small pile of money on her desk, Emma pushed two halves of the power into two lines and rolled up the dollar bill before snorting one of them quickly.

She shook her head quickly and sighed, rubbing her temples, muttering, "This is such a bad idea."

"Too late now," Regina laughed, grinning as she followed suit, more slowly than Emma had.

"Oh, God…" Emma breathed, staring at the broadening smile on Regina's face. "Sit down."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Regina…"

Regina did sit down, and continued to smile as Emma watched her carefully, waiting for the high to kick in. Four or five minutes later, it hit Regina first.

"Oh, holy shit," she gasped. "My head is _spinning._ "

"I know," Emma told her. "Just… Just take it easy, okay?"

Ignoring her, the brunette immediately stood and grabbed the whip again, then jerked Emma off the bed.

"Regina, what are you-"

"Turn around."

"Regina."

"Turn. Around."

Feeling euphoria wash over her too, Emma turned slowly when Regina pushed her lightly, then shoved her harder until she was bent over the bed. As soon as Emma was bracing herself on the mattress with her palms, Regina lifted her shirt and cracked the whip against her back.

"Oh, shit," Emma moaned, the shock of pain shooting through her body.

"Yeah?" Regina asked with a smirk. "You like that, Em?"

When Regina slide her hands up and down Emma's back, she shivered, then gasped when Emma tugged her jeans down to her thighs, exposing her bare ass, which was far from obscured by the string of her thong.

Another crack of the whip, this time against her ass, made Emma's body jerk forward.

"I wasn't expecting you to be wearing a thong," Regina mused. "I'm pleasantly surprised."

"I always-" she was interrupted by another crack of the whip "-Ah! Fuck, Regina."

"You always what, dear?"

"I always wear a-"

Another crack.

"Wear a what?"

"A thong! Christ, Regina."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"N-No," Emma struggled to say.

"Feels good, huh? You're not used to this."

Emma gripped the blankets in her fists and whimpered, "Wait."

Then, Regina leaned over until her breasts were pressed against Emma's back and whispered, "Why? What are you so afraid of?" as she dug her nails into the girl's shoulder blades.

"You're… You're high, Regina, and-"

" _So_ high," the brunette laughed brightly, dragging her nails down all the way to the little dimples at the base of Emma's spine, causing the girl to shake.

"Wait," Emma persisted. "We don't have to-"

"I _want_ to," Regina corrected her. "And so do you. I know you do."

"Regina," the blonde pleaded.

"You're wet, aren't you?"

Gaping, Emma turned to look behind her as her eyes met Regina's painfully seductive stare.

"Aren't you?" Regina pressed.

"Reg-"

"Do I need to find out for myself? Is the mighty playboy Emma Swan at a loss for words?"

All Emma could manage in response was an agonized whimper, which intensified in desperation when she felt Regina's cool fingers pressing against the fabric of the thong between her legs. And Regina was right. She was soaked.

"Ah," Regina laughed. "I knew you would be. How convenient." Then, she became slightly breathless as the euphoria took over and disorientation spread through her, and slowly, she said, "God, this is amazing."

Emma's face would have been twisted with concern, had it not been contorted in pleasure as Regina removed her hand from between her legs and scraped her nails down her back once again. Involuntarily, Emma pressed back against Regina's body and allowed her to continue.

When the brunette commanded, "Take this off," and tugged on her shirt, Emma's heart raced, and although she wanted to obey, she was frozen, so Regina took the initiative and removed her shirt and unclasped her bra for her, dropping it onto the bed.

"I'm going to break you, Emma Swan," Regina growled, voice low and seductive. "And you're going to beg for more."

But Emma was already there, her core aching for stimulation as Regina continued to tease her. When Regina groped her ass, her nails digging into the skin there, Emma's body jerked.

"Gina."

"Fuck," Regina sighed happily, intoxicated by the sound of Emma's use of a new nickname. "Tell me what you want."

"I… I…"

With another crack of the whip, hard against Emma's ass, Regina asked sternly, "Tell me." Emma was silent, the sting of the whip shocking her body. "Say it."

"You," the blonde gasped. "Just you."

"Tell me you're mine. I want to hear you say it."

"I'm-" again, the whip cracked against her backside "-yours. Yours. I'm yours."

"You're dripping for me, Em," Regina said with a smile, once again reaching between Emma's legs to stroke her clit through her panties.

" _Fuck_. Please."

"That's it, honey. Beg."

"Reg-"

"Beg!"

"Please!" Emma screamed, feeling Regina's nails dragging down her back, tearing the skin open. "Please, Regina. I can't… I can't-"

Then, Emma felt the sensation of the fabric of Regina's lace panties rubbing against her bare ass as the girl leaned forward, her breasts pressed against Emma's back, and kissed her shoulder.

"You're mine," the brunette whispered, biting Emma's earlobe before pulling away and sitting up, her front still pressed against Emma's ass.

Emma quickly whimpered, "Yes. Yours," before she nearly collapsed, her weight transferring from the palms of her hands to her forearms as she bent further over the bed.

"What else do you have in this fun little drawer of yours?" Regina cooed, scraping Emma's back again before leaning over toward the bedside table.

"Regina, don't-" Emma tried, but Regina was already opening the drawer again.

"Not used to be dominated, are you, Em?"

"Regina..."

"Yes, Miss Swan?"

"I…"

"Beg. Break for me, and I'll give you anything you want."

Emma's head spun, repeated waves of euphoria crashing over her. Nothing could have been more intoxicating.

"Please," she whimpered. "Please."

"Please what?"

"Please…"

"Please _what,_ Emma _?_ "

"I just need you."

Seductively, Regina pressed, "Need me to what?" and stroked Emma's clit again.

"Regina! Jesus!"

"Tell me what you want, baby. Beg for it, and it's yours."

"I want… I need..."

"Need what, baby girl?"

"Need to cum."

"There we go," the brunette chuckled triumphantly. "Good girl."

Emma's stomach lurched. _Good girl._ Face bright red with embarrassment and flustered arousal, Emma whimpered desperately, gripping the comforter of the bed tightly in her fists.

"Say it again," Regina ordered.

After brief hesitation, Emma replied, "Please, Gina. Make me cum."

Silently, Regina, feeling the rush of control, turned her attention away from Emma and over to the drawer of toys beside the bed. After digging around for a moment, she pulled out the most appealing toy for the moment: a large strap-on that seemed to be begging for attention. Regina felt a new wave of arousal drip from her core onto the fabric of her panties at the sight of the toy, and as she examined it, despite the rush of the cocaine flooding her system, she also felt a sudden wave of insecurity and paranoia. What if she did it wrong? What if she was horrible in bed? But she reminded herself that she was doing well so far, and that Emma was obviously affected by what she was doing. And it felt too good to stop. Emma was putty in her hands, ready to be molded into whatever Regina wanted. Again, Emma whimpered, tortured by the removal of the heat that had been radiating against her. When she heard the sound of Regina removing her panties and felt the pressure of the toy against her backside, Emma gasped.

"Reg-"

"Shh. The only thing I want to hear out of you is the sound of you begging me for more. Understand?"

Mouth watering, Emma hesitated, but when Regina slapped her ass hard with an open palm, she nodded her head desperately.

"Please."

"Good girl."

Again, Regina slapped her ass, harder this time, finally causing Emma to cry out. As soon as Regina pressed against her again and she felt the toy pressing against her ass, Emma's body jolted, and her thighs began to shake.

The brunette, still feeling the euphoric rush of power over her companion, was breathing heavily as she dragged her nails down Emma's back once again.

"Are you ready?" Regina husked in Emma's hear, her breath warm on the girl's neck.

Emma nodded, but Regina punished the silence by scraping her sides with her nails, leaving more long red scratches in their wake.

"Say it," she growled, desperate to hear her lover begging again.

"Yes. _Yes._ Please, Regina. Just… Please…"

In response to the plea, Regina pulled away again and bent over, then shocked Emma completely when she pulled her thong down below her thighs with her teeth.

"Oh, fuck," Emma breathed, shivering as the next hot wave of her arousal dripped from her core onto her thighs.

"God, this feels good," Regina sighed, stroking Emma's backside. "And you look amazing like this. Desperate and begging."

Before she could respond, Emma found herself caught up in the sensation of the toy being pressed against her backside again.

"I'm gonna fuck you til you scream," Regina husked, nipping at Emma's earlobe and tugging on it with her teeth.

"Please. _Please,_ Gina. I need you."

"Now, take it like a good girl or I won't let you finish."

Whining in response, Emma pressed her backside against Regina's crotch, desperate to be filled by her. To her surprise, it only took her companion a few seconds to line the head of the toy up with her entrance and start to push it into her. It was slow at first – Regina was feeling the wave of uncertainty returning – but once the toy was half-way inside and Emma was moaning for more, she thrust the rest inside full-force, making the blonde cry out loudly.

"Fuck, Regina," Emma groaned. "Please."

Intoxicated by the desperate sounds her lover was making, Regina gripped the girl's hips, pulled back, then thrust back into her, hard and fast, working up a rapid rhythm that very quickly drove Emma wild.

"Oh, fuck."

"Jesus, Emma," Regina gasped. "You're so fucking hot like this."

"Please. Please, don't stop."

"I won't."

And, as promised, Regina fucked her lover until she screamed and came hard, her walls clenching and pulsating around the toy as her fluids further soaked her thighs.

Both were panting by the time Emma finished, and Regina collapsed against her back as soon as she was sure her orgasm was over, kissing the girl's shoulder. When she felt Regina's lips, Emma shivered.

"Regina," she said breathlessly.

"Shh. My head is spinning," Regina chuckled. "Can't think anymore."

"Don't think. Just touch me."

Still laughing, Regina told her, "I think I'm coming down. I can't move."

Emma was still catching her breath, but she managed to reply, "You're gonna have to. This position is getting uncomfortable."

With a smile, Regina forced herself to straighten up and slowly pulled away, allowing her hands to slide over Emma's back as she did so.

"God," Emma sighed. "Where the fuck did that come from?"

"Probably from being higher than a kite."

"And?"

"And wanting you for so long."

Despite the fact that her whole body felt like Jell-O, Emma managed to maneuver herself so that she was turned around, facing Regina, and sitting on the bed.

"Yeah?" the blonde asked.

"I've wanted to rail you like that for ages."

It was Emma's turn to laugh as she leaned forward and kissed Regina's lips, cupping her face in her hands.

"God," Regina said, resting her forehead against her lover's. "I didn't want that to end."

"Me either."

"Fuck. I can't breathe."

Emma bit her lip as she stroked some of Regina's hair out of her face and asked, "Are you alright? You should lay down."

She wanted to say, _This was a horrible idea,_ but that would have been very close to a lie, so Emma refrained.

"I'm f...fine," the brunette chuckled, pushing Emma down and rolling onto the bed beside her. "Just shut up and hold me."

They fell asleep like that, with Emma's arms wrapped snugly around Regina's waist, although they were both sweating and overheating from the exertion. Neither dared to move or pull away, fearing that the fantasy they'd both just enacted would crumble away into ash.

Around two hours later, Regina nudged her partner awake.

"Em," she whispered. "I can't sleep."

The blonde yawned, not opening her eyes, and offered a sleepy, "Huh?"

"My heart's still racing and I can't get my mind to shut off."

With a sigh, Emma kissed the top of Regina's head and said, "Yeah. It happens."

"What?"

"It can make people anxious, on edge… restless."

"I'm not anxious!" Regina snapped, starting to sit up.

"Hey. Stop. Lay down. It's fine. It'll pass."

"God, that was amazing," the brunette sighed, rubbing her temples. "Can we do that again? Like, now?"

"What?" Emma gawked. "No. Like, really no. Like, not ever."

"What?"

"That's gonna be a one-in-a-lifetime kind of night for you, kiddo. You're all done."

"Emma! That's bullshit! You're not my mom!"

Rolling her eyes, Emma gave Regina's waist a squeeze and held her close as the girl's muscles tensed in frustration.

"You're craving it because you crashed and you're feeling edgy. It's okay. It will pass."

"I'm not feeling 'edgy,' god dammit!"

"Regina. You're getting fired up about nothing."

"I'm getting fired up because you're trying to tell me how to live my life!" Regina cried, pushing herself away from Emma and sitting up in bed.

Sighing heavily, Emma rubbed her eyes and sat up as well, saying, "I knew this was a bad idea, and—Oh, fuck."

Hearing Emma cut herself off mid-sentence, Regina looked over at her with concern, asking, "What?"

"Everything hurts. Especially my head. Holy shit."

"Are you—"

"You railed me _so_ fucking hard," Emma laughed.

"Oh," Regina said softly, suddenly feeling self-conscious as she began to blush. "Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you…"

"No, don't be sorry," the blonde offered with a smile, leaning in to kiss Regina's cheek. "You didn't hurt me. That was hands-down the best lay I've ever had."

"Really?"

Clearly, Regina had been distracted from her irritability by Emma's flattering comments.

"Really. Now, come here and let me hold you, would ya?"

Regina complied, relaxing back into Emma's arms, but shifted restlessly for the next ten minutes as her partner rubbed her back.

"Em."

"Yeah, honey."

"I didn't mean to get grumpy. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, honey. That's just what happens. This is part of why I didn't want you to try it. Like I said, people just get… paranoid, irritable, restless… and end up craving another high. That's not what I want for you."

"Well, it's a little late now. That was…"

"I know," Emma sighed, stroking the girl's hair. "I shouldn't have let you do that."

"Emma. You're not my mother. You don't need to babysit me, and you don't get to make choices for me."

"I'm just trying to protect you."

"I don't need protecting. I'm a big girl."

"You might be a 'big girl,' Regina, but you have no idea what you're getting yourself into. I would feel responsible for anyone doing something like that with me. It's not a you thing. I don't look down on you or think you're incapable of taking care of yourself. I just know what this stuff can do to people, and I don't want that for you. Do you understand?"

"Then why the hell do you do it?"

"Because I don't care about the consequences for myself."

There was a long pause before Regina asked, "Are you sure you liked it? You're not just trying to-"

"Yes, Regina. I liked it. But we don't have to get high for us to do that."

"Yeah, but-"

"Alright, listen. Why don't we just… you know… try it again… and see how it goes. Okay?"

"You mean, like, without getting high?"

"Yes, Regina. Without getting high. I mean, if you don't feel like you can't fuck me unless you're high, then-"

"No, no, it's not that!" Regina quickly cried. "I just… I'm self-conscious. I never would have been able to do that without… you know…"

"Well, now you've done it, and you know you have nothing to be nervous about."

"Yeah, but-"

"Regina," Emma said softly, taking her hand and kissing her cheek. "It's okay. Let's just try it without and see if you like it. If not… we should probably re-evaluate some things."

* * *

 

Later that night, they both entered the dorm room together and sat down on Emma's bed.

"So…" Regina started, sounding unsure of what to say.

"So?"

"So, what do you want to do now?"

"I don't know. I'm exhausted." Then, she chuckled, "And honestly, I'm still wicked sore."

A smile crept over Regina's lips as she asked slyly, "How come, baby?" and stroked the girl's thigh, causing Emma to shiver.

"I…"

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" the brunette cooed, her hand moving up and closer to the inside of Emma's thighs. "Feeling tense?"

At a loss for words, and feeling a sudden rush of arousal, Emma simply stared.

Then, Regina asked, "How exhausted are you, exactly?"

"I… Um…"

"Too exhausted to play?"

"N-No…"

Regina smiled.

"Good." Without waiting for Emma's next response, Regina reached over and opened the drawer of toys next to Emma's bed, pulling out several cuffs. "Clothes off, then get on your stomach."

"Gina…"

"Well?"

Swallowing hard, Emma nodded her head and did as she was told, removing her clothes slowly and laying down on the bed face-down. As she followed the orders, she felt Regina's eyes on her.

"Good girl," Regina purred, stroking her fingers down Emma's spine.

When she grabbed Emma's wrists and cuffed them each to the bed posts, Emma felt her stomach flip. She certainly wasn't used to being the one face down, or the one being tied up. In fact, it was such a foreign experience that her stomach didn't stop flipping until her ankles were tied loosely as well. At first, all she felt was the cool air of the room, all over her body, giving her goosebumps, but after a moment of silence as her lover admired her, Regina stroked both hands down Emma's back.

"You want a massage, babe? Help you be a little less sore?"

Blushing slightly and not knowing how to respond, Emma simply nodded her head. Anything to keep Regina's hands on her.

When the brunette slowly began to rub her back, working her thumbs into all of Emma's tensed-up muscles, the girl started to relax.

"That's it, baby," Regina said softly. "Just breathe… Let me make you feel better."

Slowly, the brunette dragged two fingers down from the small of Emma's back to the inside of her thighs, just under her ass, making Emma's body jolt. Regina felt this and smirked. When she leaned in to bite the back of Emma's thigh, her smile grew.

"Oh, honey… I had no idea you'd be ready so fast."

Careful fingers slipped lightly between Emma's folds, sliding easily from the front to the back as they were coated with the girl's arousal. After licking the slickness from her fingers, as Emma turned her head back and watched, Regina bit her other thigh, causing Emma's body to jerk, them groped her ass with both hands. This earned a groan from the blonde as the sensation of Regina's hands on her body set her skin on fire.

Then, there was nothing. Regina stood, removed her own clothing, and fastened the strap-on around her hips.

"You as ready as you feel, babe?" she asked softly, once again groping Emma's ass.

When the blonde nodded her head enthusiastically, Regina smiled again and knelt between her legs, this time gently sliding her hands over Emma's ass and up to her shoulders.

"Lift," Regina ordered, firmly gripping Emma's hips.

Slightly startled by the command, Emma froze, too overwhelmed by the feeling of Regina's hands on her body to respond.

Without waiting for a reply, Regina leaned closer to the nightstand and grabbed the whip out of the drawer, wasting no time before flicking it hard against Emma's ass and growling, "Lift."

With a whimper, Emma lifter her hips into the air, which allowed Regina to move forward and press her crotch against Emma's backside, the shaft of the toy sliding between Emma's legs and rubbing against her clit. The blonde moaned as Regina began to slide the toy forward and back, stimulating her until her clit was swollen and her cunt was dripping onto the length of it.

Regina gave no warning before pulling back, then thrusting the head of the toy into Emma's heat full-force, burying it entirely and making the girl cry out loudly.

"Oh, _fuck_ ," Emma groaned, feeling herself filled with the toy.

When Regina started to move inside her, thrusting hard and fast, Emma felt her body shudder as she pushed her ass back against Regina's crotch, meeting every one of Regina's movements.

"Oh, God, Gina. Please."

"That's it, baby. Beg."

"Please. Please. Please, Gina. I need you."

The faster Regina moved, the louder Emma's pleas grew, until words melted into gasps and incomprehensible syllables.

"Beg!" Regina ordered, dragging her nails roughly down Emma's back, leaving red marks in their wake.

"Please!" Emma cried, using all the power in her lungs to shout the words, leaving her breathless and gasping for air as Regina continued to pound mercilessly into her core. " _Please_ , Gina."

"Please, what?"

Tears of pleasure and agony dripped down Emma's cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut and whimpered, "Please, mistress. Fuck me."

Regina nearly froze at this. _Mistress._ The word made her whole body shiver, and she suddenly found herself desperate for her own orgasm. Emma was calling her mistress, and something about the word made her feel so incredibly intoxicated that she almost stopped moving. But she knew how close Emma was to reaching her peak, so she cracked the whip against her ass again, to shock her body closer to the edge, then dropped the whip and gripped Emma's hips even tighter than before as she thrust harder. With this increase in force as Regina slammed the toy into her lover's dripping cunt, Emma screamed.

"Say it again," Regina finally managed to say, after somewhat catching her breath.

"Mistress, fuck me! Please, Mistress, harder!"

"Oh, God," Regina groaned as she felt her own arousal overflowing onto her thighs. "Cum for me."

On command, Emma's walls clenched around the thrusting toy, squeezing it hard in its tight sheath, and she came, reaching the apex of her arousal.

"Fuck, yes. Mistress…"

"Yes. Good girl. Good girl. Cum for me."

" _Fuuuck_ ," the blonde groaned loudly, her entire body convulsing as the orgasm was drawn out by Regina's endless continual thrusts.

"That's my girl. C'mon, baby. Keep cumming."

As the orgasm ended and Regina felt Emma's muscles begin to relax, the brunette slowed her movements, but didn't stop. Instead, she pulled Emma's hips tighter against her and kept thrusting, but gently, and with a steady rhythm.

"Gina, I-" Emma started to say, breathlessly.

"One more time," Regina whispered, stroking her back and leaning in to kiss her shoulder, making Emma's body shiver. "Slow this time."

"Can't…" Emma whined desperately, feeling the conflict of exhaustion juxtaposed with intense stimulation electrifying every inch of her. "Can't."

Regina ignored her, intoxicated by the way Emma lifted her hips to meet her achingly slow movements and the way the girl let out a breathless, drawn-out, high pitched whine with each one.

"That's it, baby. Come on. Cum for me."

"C-C-" Emma started, but couldn't finish the words, as she felt her thighs begin to tremble.

As the girl's body started to weaken and melt into the mattress, Regina gripped her hips tighter and lifted them as she pushed the toy into the tight, clenching sheath of Emma's cunt.

"Ah! Shit!" Emma cried, shaking harder as her muscles spasmed, bringing another wave of climax. " _Mistress._ "

Feeling her reach her peak, Regina picked up the speed of her thrusts only slightly, until she was absolutely sure that her lover's orgasm was over.

"Oh, fuck," the brunette sighed, collapsing onto Emma's back as the toy slipped out of her core. "Shit."

"Oh, my God."

Then, Regina asked, "Where did you come up with that?"

"Come up with what?"

"The… The Mistress thing…"

"Oh…" Emma muttered, blushing. "I dunno. It just… came out…"

"God, baby," Regina whispered, kissing Emma's shoulder. "That was so fucking hot."

"Yeah? You liked that?"

"I'm so fucking turned on right now."

"Good."

"Think you've got energy to give me a round?"

"Always," Emma replied with a grin. "But you'll have to untie me."

Laughing lightly, Regina freed her lover from the bed posts and kissed her shoulder again, before getting off of her and sitting beside her on the bed.

"Um… How do you want it?" the blonde asked cautiously.

"How do you want to give it to me, baby?"

"Oh. Um… Whatever way my Mistress wants is the way I want to give it her…"

Shuddering and completely seduced by the girl's words, Regina removed the strap-on and set it to the side. Gently, the brunette pushed Emma off the bed, then sat on the edge, with her legs hanging off the side. Taking the hint immediately, Emma grinned and leaned in, wasting no time in licking the dripping arousal from the back to the front of Regina's slit, making the girl's fists clench the sheets as she braced herself.

"Mmm," Emma mumbled. "So good."

Regina blushed, then whimpered as Emma sucked her clit into her mouth and massaged it with her tongue.

"Em," the girl gasped, tangling her fingers in Emma's hair and pulling.

This didn't distract Emma in the least, and she continued to alternate between licking and sucking on Regina's clit, until the girl's thighs clenched around her ears and started to shake. Then, Emma pushed her tongue into Regina's core, as deep as it would go, and licked out all of the arousal she could, swallowing it gratefully as her lover loudly moaned her name, again and again. When she felt Regina's thighs clenching tighter, she moved her attention back to her clit and sucked on it until she was gasping for air and nearly screaming expletives that she was sure their neighbors could hear. A new wave of arousal flooded Regina's thighs as she came hard, and Emma cleaned all of it with her tongue, not stopping until she felt the girl's thighs cease their convulsions.

"Come here," Regina breathlessly commanded her, pulling her up.

Emma climbed over her and kissed her passionately, stroking Regina's tongue slowly with her own.

When Regina whispered, "That was amazing," Emma chuckled and kissed her forehead.

"You're amazing. Let's do that again."

"You were right, you know."

"About what?"

"About getting high. It was just as good without it. You were perfect," the brunette told her, stroking her hair. "My perfect little pet…"

Emma shivered at this and laid back until her head was on the pillow, then pulled Regina down with her, wrapping her arms around the girl and holding her gently.

As soon as she realized that Emma's breathing was slowing and that she hadn't said anything for several minutes, Regina smiled and said softly, "Goodnight, Em."

Emma mumbled a groggy, "G'night, Gina" before falling asleep almost instantly.


	7. Chapter 7

To Regina's disappointment, Emma had prior engagements the next day during lunch time. It had been wonderful to wake in her lover's arms – as it always was – but eating in the dining hall alone was not exactly her idea of a fulfilling afternoon. After putting together a meal from the salad bar and finding a table in the back corner, she was startled by the sound of someone's voice saying her name.

"Hey, Regina," Belle greeted her with a confident smile.

"Jesus, Belle! You scared the shit out of me," Regina laughed nervously, pushing some of her hair out of her face as she set her fork down on her tray.

Belle chuckled an insincere, "Sorry," before leaning against the table and asking, "Can I sit?"

"I, um… Yeah. Sure. Of course."

Part of Regina felt obligated to be polite. Part of her was too nervous to be alone with Belle to say yes. And the other part of her was terrified by what she knew Belle would ask next.

"Sweet. So, how'd it go?"

Belle was grinning, knowing all too well by Regina's blush that things had gone better than Regina could ever have expected.

"It was… Um…"

"It's alright, hun. You can tell me. Whatever you say is just between us. I won't tell Em. Was it horrible?"

Of course, Belle had to tightly close her lips to keep herself from laughing, knowing that things hadn't been 'horrible.'

"Belle…"

"Don't lie, princess. Now, tell me. Was I right, or what?"

"Well, um… I mean… I suppose so."

"And?"

"And what?"

"And what happened?"

"I'm not giving you details!" Regina blurted defensively, her hands clenching anxiously into fists.

"Well, I don't want  _details._ I just meant, how'd it go?"

"It was…"

"Did you like it?"

"Y-Yes."

Averting her eyes, Regina focused her attention on her salad, without taking another bite.

"And did she?"

"I… I think so."

"What do you mean you  _think_ so?!" Belle cried. "Did she cum or not?"

Head jerking around to see if anyone had heard, Regina snapped, "Belle! Shh!"

"Well? Did she?"

"Belle! Stop it!"

"Don't be such a pussy, Regina. It's a normal part of any relationship, right?"

Covering her face, totally ashamed to be discussing her sex life with someone she didn't even really consider to be a friend, Regina mumbled, "Oh, my God."

"Oh, my God is right. What a pansy."

That being the last straw, Regina dropped her hands to the table with a loud bang and scathed, "I certainly don't think  _Emma_  would say I'm a pansy."

"Oooh," Belle cooed happily. "So it  _did_ go well."

"You know what? Yes, it did. And yes, she  _did_ cum."

At this, Belle burst out laughing.

"Fuck, man. I knew it! I  _told you so._ "

"Shut up, Belle," Regina hissed. "You might've been right, but that doesn't mean you get to brag."

"Sure it does."

"I'm about to wipe that fucking smirk right off your face."

"Don't be so pissy. You should be thanking me!"

Regina paused at this and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. After some thought, she realized that Belle, in a way, was quite right. Sure, she didn't have to brag, but she certainly  _had_ been right. And she only had Belle to thank for it.

"I'm sorry," she finally mumbled. "You're right. Thank you."

With a warm, forgiving smile, Belle told her, "No biggie. I know you're just embarrassed. Anyway, how'd the blow go?"

"What?"

"The blow…? You know… The coke?"

"Oh.  _Oh._ Right… Yeah. I mean… It was good."

"Good?"

After some hesitation, Regina finally confessed, "It was  _really_ good…"

"But?"

"But she doesn't want me to do it again. Like, ever."

"What? Why?" Belle gawked, stunned.

Sighing, Regina replied, "I don't know… I mean… I think it scared her, me being so… out of control. Well, not out of control, but… you know. Without any inhibitions. And she doesn't want it to become a problem."

"A problem?" Belle laughed, shaking her head. "She doesn't seem to have a  _problem_ when  _she_ does it."

"Yeah, I know, right?! I don't see how it's fair."

"It's not, really. You should put your foot down. Tell her you can do what you want. You're not a baby, and she's not your mom."

"Exactly! That's what I told her! But she got all weird and pushy about it."

"So, you're into it then?"

"Um… Yeah. I guess I am."

"She's not in charge of you, Regina," Belle asserted. "Listen… Just… Let me know, okay?"

"Let you know what?" Regina asked, confused.

"If you want me to hook you up."

"Belle… I, uh… I appreciate it… But she'd get  _really_ pissed…"

"What, are you scared of her? Just because she gets into fights all the time?"

"No! Of course not! I just… I want to make her happy."

"She is happy with you."

"She won't be if I keep… you know."

With a shrug, Belle replied, "Look. In my opinion, you should do what  _you_ want. What makes  _you_ happy. But hey… that's just me. Anyway, I'm going out again tonight, if you guys want to come. I mean, you'll probably cum anyway, but…"

"Belle!" Regina gasped, staring. "Jesus!"

Cackling, Belle added, "Just kidding! Jeez. Just kidding…"

Regina rolled her eyes at this and turned her attention back to her salad, taking a few more bites of it without engaging Belle in more conversation. Belle did the same with her meal – a burger and fries – and stayed surprisingly quiet for a while.

Then, she broke the silence between them, smiling and saying, "You know… I kinda like you, kid. You're not as much of a skirt as I thought you were. You've got spunk."

Rolling her eyes again, Regina chuckled, "Yeah, right."

"No, really. You're not so bad. A little bit of a prude, but-"

"Real nice, Belle," Regina commented, letting out a slightly bitter laugh. "Way to compliment someone."

"Yeah, well. Just sayin'."

When she looked up and saw the smile Belle was sporting, Regina couldn't help but smile back and say, "Thanks, though. I appreciate that."

"You really should come out tonight."

"I dunno… I have to study, and-"

"C'mon, Regina. Don't let me down!"

The grin on Belle's face made Regina laugh, but she shook her head anyway, looking down to hide her smile.

* * *

 

"So… Wait. You're telling me you want to go out with Belle again?" Emma asked, gaping in disbelief.

"Well… I mean. I don't know. I was just… asking…"

Brow furrowing as she looked at Regina seriously, Emma asked, "Are you sure it's okay?"

"Do you want to go?"

"Do you?"

"Stop it. I'm asking you."

"Well… Kinda, yeah. You know I like going out," Emma confessed. Then, she added with a laugh, "Go hard or go home, right?"

Regina rolled her eyes but couldn't help the smile that spread over her lips.

"Okay. Then let's go."

**[LINE BREAK]**

Not too far into the night, Emma noticed a change in Regina's behavior.

"Regina… What's wrong with you?" Emma asked, when the girl tried to hook her fingers in the waistband of Emma's tightly fitting denim shorts.

"N-Nothing," Regina stammered, laughing. "I just get a little silly when I'm tired…"

"No, you don't, Regina. And you're sweating."

"We're at a club! We were dancing!"

"Problem, ladies?" Belle cut in, putting a hand on one of each of their shoulders.

"Yeah," Emma announced, turning on her friend. "What did you give her?"

"What?!" Belle gasped. "Who, me?!"

"Yeah,  _you,_ " the blonde snapped, shoving Belle's shoulders. "I told you she's done with that shit!"

"You don't own her!" Belle snapped boldly, turning to Regina. "Does she?"

"N-No," Regina stuttered. "She's right, Emma. You don't."

"Are you fucking serious right now?" Emma gaped. "Is this really happening? You're going to pick a fight because you want to get high?"

"It's not your choice!" Belle cried. "She's an adult. If she wants to get fucked up, she can. Right, Regina?"

When Regina started to feel dizzy, her eyes glazing over as her vision blurred, Belle stepped forward and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"She's fine," the brunette told her friend. "Aren't you, honey?"

Regina could only nod, allowing herself to lean on Belle for support.

"S-Stop trying to control me," she finally told Emma. "You don't own me."

"Oh, my God," Emma gasped. "This is for real right now. You're really doing this. You're really choosing drugs over me?"

"I just wanted to have fun!" Regina shouted, as Belle gripped her hand for encouragement. "Why can't I have both? Why do you always feel the need to control me?"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? This is the  _only_ thing I have  _ever_ asked you not to do! And I asked because I care about you!"

"You asked me to stop," Regina said. "And I'm saying no."

Gaping at her lover and her friend, Emma found herself at a loss for words.

"Come on, Regina," Belle said carefully. "Let's go forget about this party-pooper until she comes to her senses."

As they walked away together, Emma felt a pit form in her stomach.

* * *

 

The next morning, seven or so missed calls later, Belle finally answered Regina's phone.

"What?" she asked groggily. "She's fine."

"What the fuck, Belle! Where the fuck is she?"

"She's asleep."

"Where?"

"At my place, obviously."

Hearing the smile in Belle's voice, Emma gritted her teeth and scathed, "Is this you trying to get back at me for not fucking you?"

"Whoa, there, skippy. Settle down."

"Is it?"

"Why, of  _course_ not, Emma. This is me standing up for Regina and her right to make her own choices. You say you're not controlling, but you are."

"Why the fuck do you think it's ok to butt your stupid, nosy ass into my-"

"I'm just protecting a friend."

"Wipe the fucking smirk off your face, or I'll do it for you. She's not your friend." When Belle said nothing, only laughing in response, Emma added, "I mean it. Wake her up and send her home.  _Now._ "

"And if I don't?"

"What?"

"What will you do if I don't?"

"I'll come get her myself."

"Oh, I don't think you want to see that."

"See what?"

"See your girl in bed with me."

Emma almost froze, but her rage and adrenaline allowed her temper to snap, and she instantly ended the call.

* * *

 

"Belle!" Emma shouted, banging on the girl's door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Settle down," Belle replied loudly from behind the door, holding back a laugh. "I just gotta put pants on."

"BELLE!" Emma roared, furious and ignited by Belle's words.

"Jesus, kid," Belle chuckled as she opened the door. "Chill out before you break my door down."

"I don't give a flying  _fuck_ if I break your door down!"

When Emma shoved past her friend in search of Regina, Belle grabbed her by the arm and held her still.

"Emma," Belle said sternly. "She's fine, okay? She's asleep. Leave her alone. She needed space. The last thing you want to do is smother her and push her away right now."

Stopped dead in her tracks by these statements, Emma froze and stared at Belle for a long while, before her friend added, "Look, I was just trying to piss you off, okay? You deserved it. I slept on the couch, and she slept in my bed. Nothing happened."

"That was  _not funny!_ " Emma roared, shoving Belle's shoulders and causing her to stumble backwards.

"Cool it, Em. You're gonna wake her up."

"Fuck you, Belle. You think it's funny to joke about being in bed with my girlfriend?"

"Well, yeah. It kinda was," Belle confessed with a grin. "She is a hot piece of ass, after all. Wouldn't mind tapping that… A few times…"

Flames erupted behind Emma's eyes, and in her haze of red, all she could see was the blur of her own fist flying forward, toward Belle's face. Luckily for them both, Belle caught her hand. Usually, Emma would have landed the punch, but her rage took away her concentration and left only clumsiness.

"Emma!" Belle finally shouted, in an attempt to snap the girl out of her wrathful frenzy. "Jesus Christ! What's wrong with you? I'm just fucking around."

"You think it's 'fucking around' to give her drugs?"

At a loss for words, Belle stared at her friend and felt the tiniest pang of guilt.

Eventually, she said, "Don't make this my fault. She's an adult who can make her own choices. Stop trying to control her."

"I'm not trying to control her! I'm trying to protect her!"

"You should leave, Emma. It's going to look really bad on you if you push her right now."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you love something, let it go, right? Give her her freedom. You needed yours, didn't you?"

"And look where the fuck it got me. I'm  _this_ close to failing out of art school."

"Does Regina know?"

"Well, I mean… She knows I don't care about most of my classes…"

"Yeah, but does she know you're close to failing out?"

"I don't… I mean…"

"Go back to your room and chill out, okay? Do some homework or something. And think about telling her."

"Who the fuck are you to tell me what I should do?" Emma snapped, suddenly remembering her anger.

"Your best friend, remember?"

"Best friends don't-"

"Look, we can discuss this later. If you don't stop yelling, you're going to wake her, and she really needs to sleep this off. And you really need to chill out anyway."

With a sigh, Emma reached up and rubbed her temples, looking away from Belle.

"Okay. Alright. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have joked about her being in bed with me. Or about fucking her. But you need to trust me right now. It'll all be fine if you just let her make her own choices."

"You're such a dick," Emma huffed, then turned and walked out.

* * *

 

Emma stayed in the room all day, subconsciously hoping that Regina would walk in at any moment. But she went to bed alone, fighting the urge to text the girl and ask one the of many, many questions she felt boiling over.

In the morning, she also woke alone. When she looked over anxiously at Regina's side of the room and found the bed empty, her stomach dropped, and the urge to message her returned full-force. She resisted, though, thinking of Belle's words.

It wasn't until late that night that Regina returned, and oddly enough, Emma was asleep, despite the fact that she was usually up until at least two in the morning.

When the door cracked, spreading a small splash of light over Emma's face, Regina paused in the doorway and watched for a while as the girl simply breathed, her chest rising and falling. Eventually, Regina shut the door behind her, filling the room once again with complete darkness. Of course, this worked out badly, as she could see nearly nothing and promptly stubbed her toe on her desk chair on the way to her bed.

"Gina?" Emma's quiet voice asked sleepily as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Shit," the girl cursed, holding her foot and looking in Emma's direction. "Sorry. I…"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"I…" Emma tried, slowly sitting up in bed. "Regina…"

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

"But…"

Regina said nothing. Instead, she simply made it the rest of the way to her bed and slipped under the covers, rolling to face the wall. Despite the tension between them, Emma was calmed by the sound of Regina's slow breathing, once she was asleep. Still, it took the blonde a while to join Regina in sleep, but eventually, her body's exhaustion won over.

* * *

 

After waking, Regina sat up in her bed and looked over at Emma, who was sleeping on her back with her lips slightly parted. Though Regina couldn't have known it, the peaceful expression on Emma's face was in sharp contrast with the inner chaos she was feeling, even in her sleep. It was only when Regina shifted her weight on the bed slightly, causing it to make a loud creaking noise, that Emma's expression morphed from one of contentedness to one of conflict and tension.

As soon as she saw the new look of discomfort on Emma's face, Regina whispered, quite involuntarily, "Emma? You alright?"

"Mmmf," was all the brunette received in response as Emma gripped the bed sheets tightly in her fists, her brow furrowed.

When Emma began to look even more distressed, Regina finally stood and made the few quiet steps over to the girl's bedside, saying softly, "Em?"

Despite the previous two nights' events, Emma was still the only one who made Regina's heart feel lighter. The only one who made her nerves relax and release her from her anxiety. The only one who gave her butterflies. The only one she truly cared about. Thus, it was impossible for her to ignore Emma's discomfort.

"Emma…" she repeated, in a softer tone, reaching out, without really meaning to, to stroke Emma's cheek with her thumb.

Regina was startled when the girl sat straight up in the bed and sucked in an audible, gasping breath, so she jumped back slightly, until Emma opened her eyes.

"It's okay," Regina quickly told her. "It's me."

"Fuck," Emma cursed, wiping the sweat that had formed suddenly from her brow.

She drew several shaky breaths before she was capable of saying anything else.

"Are you alright?" Regina asked her, reaching out hesitantly and stroking some loose hairs behind the blonde's ear.

"Yeah," Emma grumbled, lightly swatting Regina's hand away. "Fine."

Without saying anything else, Emma laid back down and rolled to face the wall, rejecting any expression of Regina's concern or kindness.

"Emma… Listen… I heard what Belle said to you on the phone. I wasn't really asleep. She just thought I was… And I just want you to know that-"

"I'd prefer if we could just pretend this whole thing never happened, if it's all the same to you."

"It's not 'all the same' to me," Regina told her lover, her tone sharp. "I don't want to pretend anything with you. I want to be honest. And-"

"I don't want to know, okay? It's fine. Whatever hap- Whatever… It's fine."

"It's not fine. And I'm sorry, okay?" the brunette pressed, daring to place a gentle hand on Emma's shoulder, which was quickly shaken off. "Emma."

But Emma's heart had already stopped. If she was sorry, then… that meant…

When Regina recognized that any words Emma wanted to say were firmly lodged in her throat, she quickly told the girl, "Wait. Emma. Nothing happened."

Still, Emma could not speak. And what could she say anyway?  _I don't believe you. Are you sure? Why did you do this?_

None of those questions seemed fitting, although they were all running through her mind, spinning around and repeating like a shrill record. All she could do with the thoughts was to allow them to push hot tears from her eyes, onto her cheeks.

"Emma."

"Stop saying my name!" the blonde finally shouted, jerking the covers up over her shoulders and gripping them tightly.

She shut her eyes then, attempting to block it all out. Everything. The confusion, the pain, the stress. Even Regina. But all she could picture was their first kiss, and the way they'd pulled each other closer and confessed their love for each other.

"Stop it," Regina finally said firmly, after a brief moment of silence. "Stop acting like I-"

"It's fine, okay?" Emma sighed. "It's fine. Whatever happened is fine. I don't want to talk about it. Belle's right, anyway. You should just do whatever you want."

"Wait. That's not-"

But Emma was already pushing the covers down and swinging her legs out of the bed, and before Regina could speak, Emma had grabbed her shower towel and was closing the door behind her as she left the room.

When Emma returned, Regina was sitting on her own bed, clearly waiting for her, with her hands folded in her lap.

"We need to talk about this," the girl said seriously. "It's imp-"

"No, we really don't. You're a big kid, just like you said. You can make your own choices. Who the Hell am I to stop you from doing coke and sleeping with my best friend? You can do what you want now, alright? I'll never bring it up again. Let's just let it go, okay? Belle was right; I was wrong. That's all there is to it. And… And if you don't want to see me anymore, because of what I said and how I acted, I'll understand. I get it. I'm pushy. I'm-"

Regina cut her off there, saying, "No. She wasn't right." When Emma offered no response to this and simply continued to gather up her things for the day, Regina added, "You were just trying to look out for me." Still, no response, so she continued, "And nothing happened between me and Belle."

"You were high as a kite. How could I possibly believe you? You probably don't even remember it."

This left Regina's mouth hanging slightly open, and once again, as she found herself at a loss for words, Emma gathered the rest of what she needed for the day and left the room.

* * *

 

"What's up, kid?" Belle greeted the other brunette in the dining hall, smiling slightly. When Regina simply looked up at her blankly, looking mostly lifeless, Belle asked, "That bad, huh?"

Choking up as she felt the knot form in her throat and in her stomach, Regina could only nod.

"It's gonna be fine," Belle promised. "She'll come around. She won't stay mad forever."

"She's not mad," Regina managed to squeak out, her voice cracking. "She's hurt.  _Really_ hurt. She thinks I slept with you, but she won't talk to me about it. She just… said it was fine, and that she didn't want to talk about it, ever, then bolted out of the room."

"Oh, shit," Belle gaped. "That's… That's not what I was expecting you to say."

"Yeah, well… That's what happened."

"I guess she really does love you."

"What…?"

"Emma's got… uh… anger issues. She might not stay mad forever, but she can certainly hold a grudge. If she told you it was fine… and really doesn't want to talk about it… that means she can't stand to face the fact that you might be interested in someone else. The thought would hurt her more than she could stand, so she just… pushes the possibility away and wants to pretend it never happened."

"But I'm  _not_ interested in someone else!" Belle cried. "I want  _her!_ "

"Oh, honey," Belle sighed, placing her hand gently on top of Regina's. "I know that."

"Why did you have to instigate? Why did you have to say something that you knew would set her off and hurt her? She's never going to trust me again!"

As upset, angry, confused, and hurt as she was, Regina was grateful for the touch of a friend, and the feeling of Belle's hand on top of hers comforted her slightly.

"She will," Belle quickly countered, offering Regina's hand a careful squeeze. "And I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I always fuck with her. It's just… what we do. Our relationship is…. volatile. I can't explain it, but we just… love to set each other off. I think both of us feed on the drama, honestly." There was a pause, during which Regina stared at her in disbelief of her blunt confession, before Belle added, "That's probably the realest thing I've ever said in my life. Anyway… Let's pretend I  _didn't_ say it and move on… The point is, she loves you, and this is basically all my fault. Still, she shouldn't try to control you, you know. You need to be free to make your own choices."

Rolling her eyes, Regina huffed, "Well, look where my choices have gotten me!"

"C'mon, kiddo. It's not that bad. She'll come around soon enough, and-"

Belle turned her head when she saw Regina staring over her shoulder. Then, both of them were looking directly at the blonde who had appeared close to their table. It was all too obvious that the girl was staring at their hands, which were still touching. Before Regina could jerk her hand away and stand to explain, Emma was turning and bolting: her usual way out.

"Emma, wait!" Regina shouted, finally recovering from her shock enough to pull away from Belle and rise to her feet.

"Sit," Belle said quickly, pushing down on Regina's shoulder to get her to sit back down. "I got this."

Leaving her tray on the table in front of Regina, Belle ran across the dining room to follow Emma around the corner. By the time she reached her, Emma was at the tray return, standing by the exit and covering her face with shaking hands.

"Em," the brunette said gently, pulling Emma's hands away from her face. "Look at me."

But Emma refused to raise her gaze, and her tears refused to stop. She was too embarrassed, angry, and ashamed to look her friend in the eyes.

"It's not what it looked like, okay?" Belle told her, stroking her arms. "I swear, Emma. We were just-"

"Don't," Emma croaked, roughly pulling away.

Then, she pulled her typical run-away move, hurrying out the exit into the lobby, but Belle was quick enough to follow her out and grabbed her arm to pull her back when she tried to run.

"Listen to me!" Belle cried. "You've got this  _all_ wrong, okay? Nothing's going on with us. She was upset, because  _you_ were upset, and I was just reassuring her that things would be alright between you two."

Emma responded by bitterly laughing, "Yeah, right. I know you, Belle. That line's not gonna work on me."

"Look. I know I'm a slut, okay? I know. But it's not like that with her.  _Nothing happened._ Yes, I gave her some coke. Yes, she slept in my bed, but  _not_ with me. I carried her to bed and let her sleep. I was looking after her is all."

Feeling even more broken and confused, Emma finally met her friend's gaze and stared into her eyes, searching for the truth.

"She's madly, insanely, crazy in love with you, Em. I'd never do anything to get between you."

"Except making jokes about sleeping with her?!"

"Okay, yeah. That was fucked up. I'm sorry. But I was just fucking with you! We always do that, don't we?"

"This is different."

Sighing, Belle replied, "Yes, it is. You're right. I should have known better. I know how much you love her. How important she is to you." When Emma said nothing, she continued, "And I know you were just looking after her."

"She probably hates me now," Emma choked out. "She thinks I'm a control freak."

"She just wants to explore things, Em. That doesn't mean she wants to explore them without you. None of this has changed how she sees you. She's just worried about you. And upset because you got hurt."

"This is all your fault!" the blonde sobbed angrily, her voice echoing through the hallway. "How could you-"

"I know. I know, baby girl," Belle sighed, wrapping her arms tightly around the crying girl. "And I really am sorry."

Emma shut her eyes and let her head fall to Belle's shoulder, not caring that every person passing them by was staring. Her silence – save for the painful sobs that wracked her body – lasted until a shadow appeared beside them, at which time Belle shook her shoulder lightly to get her to open her eyes.

"Em," Regina said, pain filling her voice. "I'm so sorry. Please, don't cry."

Gently, Belle gave Emma a small push into Regina's arms, and Regina welcomed her warmly, wrapping herself around Emma's torso and holding the girl there as she cried.

"I'm sorry," Emma sobbed. "You can do what you want. I won't stop you anymore. I won't try to control you. I'm so sorry."

"Shh. Em. It's alright. I shouldn't have been doing… that stuff… and I should have gone home with you. I should have listened."

"I don't want to control you, Gina, I just wanted you to be safe."

"I  _was_  safe, Em. Belle took care of me. And  _nothing_ happened between us. I promise you that."

Exhausted from arguing and doubting the relationship she'd worked so hard to protect, Emma simply buried her face in Regina's neck and let the girl stroke her hair back as Belle patted her on the back, then left them alone in the hallway.

Eventually, Emma pulled away, wiping her eyes, and told Regina, "I gotta get to class."

Regina quickly replied, "I'll walk you" and followed the girl to her locker.

When it was time to say goodbye and let Emma enter her classroom, Regina took the girl's hand and hesitated.

"What?" Emma said, sniffling slightly.

"Can you come here for a minute?"

Tilting her head slightly in confusion, Emma took a slow step forward, which allowed Regina to give her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Have a good class, okay?" Regina whispered.

When she pressed her lips to Emma's cheek, Emma froze, feeling her stomach drop, this time in the wonderful butterfly-filled rush that she had missed so much over the past couple of days. She still struggled to speak, to instead of saying goodbye, Emma just leaned in and kissed Regina's cheek in return, then entered the classroom with her head spinning.

* * *

 

"Everything okay?" Belle asked into the phone's receiver.

"Yeah, it's alright," Regina sighed on the other end of the line. "She let me kiss her cheek goodbye after I walked her to class."

"Good! That's good. See? I told you she'd be alright."

"But she's hurt."

"So are you."

"Well, yes, but…"

"I think you two need to just talk it out, real upfront and honest, ya know? Just… put it all out there. Em hates doing that, obviously, but if you can get her to talk… I think it'll help."

"So how do I get her to talk?"

"That's on you, princess. You're the magic-maker here. No one else has ever turned Emma to mush the way you have."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, ma'am. Now, go pick her up from class."

"But I didn't-"

"Surprise her. Trust me."

"Alright… Thank you, Belle."

"You're welcome. And I'm sorry. Really, really sorry. Okay?"

"It's alright. I get it. You two are rough with each other. It's just… a sensitive situation."

"I know. I'm sorry. But go! Go. You're gonna miss her. You got like seven minutes to meet her."

"Thanks again. Talk to you later."

* * *

 

"Regina?" Emma gaped, stepping out of the classroom and into the hallway.

"Hi."

"I… What are you doing here?"

"I just thought I could maybe walk you back to the dorm, if you wanted."

"You're not hungry?"

"Nah. I had a few bites of food earlier."

"A few bites…?"

"Are  _you_ hungry?"

"Well, no… I'm a little too stressed to eat, honestly. I think I'll be sick if I try to eat anything."

"Alright then. Let's go back to the dorm."

"Are you sure you want to be around me…?"

"Emma! Of course I do! I always want to be around you."

"Even after I-"

"Shh. Come on. Let's go."

With that, Regina took the girl's hand and tugged her along, back to their dorm room.

Once they were inside, Emma sat down in her chair, dropping her heavy load of books onto the desk, and sighed.

"You got a lot of homework?" Regina asked, touching Emma's shoulder.

"Yeah… I'm supposed to paint a… I don't even know. I wasn't paying attention last class, to be honest. And I'm… Gina…"

"What is it, love?"

"I'm… I'm starting to fail stuff again. Like, a lot of stuff. I just keep… getting distracted… and… It's so hard. And my teachers are all…  _Fuck._ "

Regina was about to comment on this when she noticed Emma's eyes spilling over with tears.

"Oh, honey… Come here," she cooed. "Come here."

Emma pulled the brunette onto her lap and squeezed her hard, holding tightly as she buried her face against Regina's shoulder.

"Love you," Emma mumbled, sniffling.

"I love you too, precious girl. No matter what."

"Promise?"

"Promise." Regina smiled softly before wiping Emma's tears, then told her, "And I promise I'm done getting high, okay? Never again."

"Gina, you don't have to-"

"Shh. Just hold me."

With a nod, Emma resumed her spot, this time letting her head drop against Regina's breast.


	8. Chapter 8

Regina woke with her head on Emma's chest and their legs tangled together, a familiar position for them.

"Emma," Regina whispered, nudging the girl's shoulder. "It's time to get up. You've got class."

When Emma didn't stir, she pressed her lips against the nape of the girl's neck. When this didn't earn a response beyond a slight shift, Regina kissed the spot again, this time dragging her tongue a short distance along the skin there.

"Em-ma," she cooed, stroking the blonde's cheek. "Wakey wakey."

Finally, Emma's eyes fluttered open with a soft moan.

"Gina?"

"Yes, love. You need to get up now."

"After that?"

"I had to wake you somehow. You sleep like a rock."

Emma chuckled at this, gently easing Regina onto her side in order to sit up in bed. Then, her expression faded as she looked over at her partner, who was starting to sit up as well.

As soon as Regina noticed, she asked, "What is it?"

"I don't know…" Emma told her slowly. "I guess I just… I don't know. It's weird to wake up with you again, pretending nothing happened."

"Listen, Em… I'm sorry. I—"

"No, wait. Regina… I just… It's just… It feels weird… that you slept in her bed…"

"Oh, Emma… It wasn't like that. I was just trashed, and she was only trying to—"

"Don't. It's okay. You don't have to explain. It just feels weird is all."

"Emma,  _nothing happened._ "

"I know!" the blonde snapped. "I know. I'm not mad, okay? Just… I don't know."

With a sigh, Regina dropped her gaze.

"I love you," Emma told her, lifting her chin. "It doesn't matter, okay?"

"It matters. You're hurt," Regina said, then quickly added, "And I love you too."

"So are you. You felt like I was trying to control you. You felt trapped. I'd never mean to make you feel that way."

"I know, Emma. I know."

* * *

 

"How'd it go?"

"Actually… It went really well. She loved the painting. Called it 'insightful,' even."

"Holy shit, Em! Insightful? That's awesome!" Regina cried, rushing towards her lover with her arms open.

Emma welcomed her with surprised eyes but a warm embrace.

"I, um… I mean… It's not really a big deal…"

"It is," Regina corrected her. "I am very proud of you."

With a blush rising to her cheeks, Emma looked away and loosened her grip around Regina's torso. Her lover lifted her chin though, not allowing her to avoid her eyes.

"I love you, Emma. I truly am proud of you."

"You don't have to say that," Emma countered quickly, pulling away.

"I know I don't. I'm saying it because it's true, and I want you to know."

"It wasn't that impressive."

"I loved it, to be honest."

"Wait, what?"

"I, uh… I sort of… peeked…"

"Regina!" Emma shouted. "Seriously?"

"Why would you hide it, babe? It was beautiful…"

"I didn't want you to see it."

"But why?"

"Because… Because it was going to be a gift… for your birthday, next month, once I got it back from Ms. Diamond."

"Oh, Emma! You're so sweet," Regina cried, pulling her lover back into a tight hug. "But why did you decide to paint me?"

"I just… I paint what I love, I guess…" the blonde muttered, looking down but returning the embrace.

"You are an absolute sweetheart."

"I'm really not."

"The sweetest girl I've ever met," the brunette replied. "I am so in love with you."

When Regina's lips touched her cheek, Emma's blush returned.

"I'm not sweet."

"Oh, hush, you," Regina chuckled, ruffling Emma's curls.

"I missed this," Emma sighed, pressing her cheek to her lover's. "I missed you. I'm so sorry that I got so upset. I do trust you to make your own decisions, Regina. I just get scared. I want to protect you from any harm. But I know now that that's not my job."

"You're right. Your job is to love me, support me, and tell me when you're concerned. My job is to love you just as much and listen to your concerns."

"l can do that."

"Thank you, darling."

"Anyway," Emma said. "How was your day, honey?"

"It was alright. Nothing special."

"How'd your photography portfolio presentation go over?"

"It went well."

"Let me guess: A+?"

Blushing, Regina nodded her head reluctantly.

"Proud of you, honey," Emma told her with a smile. "So proud." After sitting down next to Regina on her bed, the blonde added, "C'mere, kiddo," and wrapped an arm around her lover.

Smiling softly at the gesture, Regina leaned in and pressed her lips to Emma's. The kiss burned slowly, growing in intensity with each passing moment, until Emma had to beak away for air.

"Regina," she said breathlessly. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm? Yeah. I'm fine. Come back here."

Gently, Regina tugged the girl closer and caught her lips again. When Emma moved to pull away again, she held the girl still by cupping the back of her neck. The kiss continued for several moments before Regina pushed Emma back against the wall and straddled her lap, without breaking their lips apart.

"Regina," Emma tried again, surprised by her lover's sudden forwardness.

"Hey, um… Emma… Would you… Can I… Can I read that piece of fanfiction you were writing a while ago?"

Emma burst out laughing at this, and once she'd caught her breath, she asked, "I mean, I guess so. But why are you asking that now?"

"I dunno… I just… You said it was smutty, and I…"

"You…?"

"Like I told you… I've never read fanfiction or any erotica… I guess I'm just… uh… curious…"

If it was possible, Emma's eyes widened further, but eventually, she snapped out of her stupor and reached for her laptop, which was on her desk in front of the bed. After opening it and finding the document, she handed the computer to Regina and watched as the girl began to read after moving off her lap. The further along Regina got, the wider her eyes became, and soon, she was feeling the same surprise that Emma had been. Instead of looking at Emma when she was finished, Regina simply lifted her head and stared at the wall briefly.

"Well…?" Emma asked curiously, noting the girl's blank expression.

"Oh. I. Um…"

"Gross, right?"

"Actually… Uh…" Regina started, then swallowed hard. "It… It was kind of… hot."

"Oh?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah…"

"You're blushing."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are," the blonde argued, poking Regina's cheeks at the same time. "Cutie. Are you embarrassed?"

"Of course not!"

"No?"

"No. I just… Um…"

"Cat got your tongue?"

"No! I just… feel… warm."

"I think you mean 'turned on,'" Emma laughed, taking the laptop back, closing it, and placing it on the desk.

"Hey, shut up. It's just… just writing…"

"Yeah, but you liked it."

Blushing brighter, Regina looked away.

"Aww, honey," Emma giggled, slowly stroking the girl's thigh. "It's okay."

Already made sensitive by the explicit, erotic words Emma had written, Regina shivered.

"Do you want help with that, baby?" Emma teased, sliding her hand further up her lover's thigh.

"What do you mean?"

"Come here. I'll show you."

When Regina scooted closer, Emma caught her lips in a messy kiss, their teeth crashing together roughly. Soon, Emma's hands were wandering, moving from the girl's hips up to her breasts, then slowly unbuttoning her blouse. Once her bra was exposed, Regina returned Emma's favor by taking off the blonde's paint-speckled tank top.

"Do you want me to make love to you?" Emma whispered, after removing Regina's bra and unclasping the buttons of her slacks.

Regina couldn't speak. Instead, she nodded her head slowly and licked her lips. In response, Emma tugged the girl's pants down, then wiggled out of her own and straddled the brunette's hips. After several minutes of hot, wet kissing and heavy petting, their hands exploring each other's bodies, they both managed to get out of their panties, leaving them naked in each other's arms.

"Are you ready?" Emma husked, stroking her lover's hair back out of her face.

"Y-Yes."

With a confident nod, Emma reached between Regina's legs and began to slide her fingers between the girl's soaked folds, savoring the slickness she found there.

"Fuck. You're so fucking wet," the blonde commented happily, pressing her fingertips lightly against her lover's clit.

"Em-ma," Regina whimpered, body jerking from the sudden stimulation of her most sensitive organ. When the girl pulled her fingers away, Regina stammered, "D-Don't tease me."

"Why not? You tease me."

"B-Because… Because I… I need you…"

"Need me to what?"

"Emma!"

"Yes, love?"

Emma was smirking triumphantly as she stared lovingly into Regina's dark eyes, and it served to both embarrass and infuriate the other girl.

"Stop it. Just…"

"Just what?"

"Just  _fuck me!_ "

Then, Emma's expression suddenly changed, melting into one of tender affection as she rubbed her thumb over Regina's cheek.

"I think… I think I'd rather make love to you right now."

It wasn't their usual method. By default, their sex was intense and rough. Not emotionless, though. Never emotionless. It was always filled with passion and adoration. They worshiped each other. But in this moment, Emma needed something else. She needed tenderness. She needed it—

"Slow and steady?" she asked, her eyes full of love as her hands slid down the soft skin over Regina's ribs.

When the girl nodded, Emma smiled slightly and pushed two fingers into Regina's entrance and curled them slowly. As soon as Regina felt Emma's fingers curling within her, instantly hitting her G-spot without need for adjustment, her hips lifted involuntarily, pushing Emma deeper.

"That it, baby?" Emma purred, curling her fingers again. "There?"

"Mhmm," Regina hummed. " _There_."

In response, Emma continued to curl her fingers slowly, steadily, as she leaned in and pressed her lips to Regina's, carefully pulling the girl's bottom lip into her mouth and sucking it gently.

Regina whimpered at the erotic, tender touch of Emma's lips against hers and returned the kiss eagerly. Feeling the brunette's intense desperation as she continued to kiss her and curl her fingers with calculated movements, Emma slowed the kissed purposefully, using her free hand to hold herself up. But Regina needed her closer. Needed Emma to melt into her. To stay in her forever. So she pulled hard on the girl's hips, pressing them against her own, squishing Emma's hand into an uncomfortable bent position between them.

"Shh," Emma hushed her. "Easy, champ."

Pulling away slowly, Emma relaxed the muscles in her wrist to relieve the discomfort of the angle they'd just been bent into, then curled her fingers inside Regina's core once more, stroking the wall of her sex in just the right place to make the girl cry out.

"Em!"

"Yeah, baby."

Then, Regina was dragging her nails down Emma's bare back, all the way down over her ass, making Emma's body jerk too. This time, the brunette pushed Emma's hips further away, then moved her own hand between them.

"Emma," she whispered, slipping her fingers between Emma's folds.

Once she felt how wet Emma was too, Regina pushed two fingers into the girl's entrance, burying them deeply until she was knuckle-deep in Emma's cunt.

"Fuck," Emma gasped. "Gina."

Regina just kissed her hungrily in reply, but kept the kiss slow, letting it burn steadily, lighting them both on fire.

"God, I fucking love you," Emma sighed, rocking her hips against her lover's hand as she pressed her own harder against Regina's core.

Carefully, the blonde rubbed the palm of her hand in little circles over Regina's clit as she curled her fingers. This happened a few times before Regina stopped pushing her fingers in and out of Emma's cunt and stopped to leave them inside, curling them just as Emma was doing to her.

"Oh, shit," Emma cursed, her eyes falling shut.

As soon as they closed, though, Emma opened them again, realizing quickly that she needed to see the look on Regina's face as they made love.

"That's it, babe," Regina urged her lover, squeezing Emma's ass with her free hand. "Just like that."

Encouraged by Regina's words, Emma kept up her movements until Regina started to breathe heavily and let out little gasps of surprise and pleasure as her lover began to stroke the inside of her walls harder and more persistently.

"Fuck, I'm close," the desperate brunette confessed breathlessly, pulling Emma closer until their sweat-soaked foreheads were pressed together.

" _Uuugh_. Baby," Emma moaned, feeling the fire of Regina's touch inside her. "Me too."

"I love you."

"I love you too, princess," the blonde replied. Then, her body jerking as she reached her peak with one stroke of Regina's fingers against her clit, she gasped, "Cum with me, baby."

"Oh, God. Fuck. That's it. Right—Ah!—Fuck. Just like—Shit!"

"Ah!" Emma shouted, thrusting against Regina's hand, which had switched its tactic to rubbing Emma's clit rapidly in small circles.

The blonde mirrored her lover's movements with her fingers, making Regina cry out again.

"Fuck, Emma! Yes!"

"I'm—I'm gonna—" Emma gasped. Then, " _Fuck!_ "

Regina screamed as Emma thrust three fingers in one last time, hard and fast, filling her exactly the way she needed to be filled, and Emma swore again as they both came hard, their walls squeezing the fingers inside them.

"God, that was good," Regina sighed, closing her eyes as her head fell back on her pillow, once the fluttering had stopped and they were both completely spent.

Emma just nodded and relaxed on top of her lover, breathing heavily on Regina's neck.

"Stop it!" Regina cried with a laugh. "That tickles!"

With a grin, Emma leaned in and bit down hard, making Regina jump.

"Ouch!" she laughed, trying to push Emma away, but the girl was persistent and kissed the bite mark passionately, sucking on the skin there until it was red and Regina was moaning. "S-Stop, honey."

Sticking her lower lip out in an obvious, exaggerated pouting expression, Emma whimpered and nuzzled the girl's neck.

This earned a full laugh from Regina, who stroked her lover's long blonde hair back and out of her face.

After a moment of quiet as Emma relaxed, the blonde asked, "What would you do if I cut my hair?"

"What?"

"If I cut my hair short. What would you do?"

"Nothing. It's your hair…"

"But…?"

"But… I'd be a little sad, I guess…"

"Why?"

"I'd have less to pull on when I fuck you."

Blushing, Emma buried her face back in her lover's warm neck and giggled.

"I love you, goober," Regina chuckled, turning her head to kiss Emma's cheek.

* * *

 

"Emma? What's wrong?" Regina asked anxiously, dropping her bag on the floor of the dorm as soon as she saw Emma sitting at her desk crying.

"I… I…" the girl tried, but choked on a sob.

"It's gonna be okay, honey," the brunette assured her, kneeling next to her chair and taking her hands. "Tell me what happened."

"I f-failed my f-final d-drawing project."

"Oh shit…"

This reaction only served to further upset Emma, and as distraught as she was, she found herself unable to say more.

Regina quickly tried to back-peddle, saying, "Fuck. I'm sorry, Emma. It's okay, really. We'll—"

"I b-bombed Art History too," the blonde stammered. "F-Forty t-two on my f-final."

Lips parting, Regina squeezed her lover's hands and stared at her, unsure of what to say. Two out of four classes… She was going to fail out completely.

"Emma… It's… It's going to be okay…" Regina tried, rubbing the backs of Emma's hands with her thumbs.

But Emma pulled away quickly, covering her face with her hands as she let out another body-shaking sob.

"I'm sure you could… re-take the classes next semester. They'll let you—"

"T-This semester was my l-last chance to p-pull up my grades. Without a B average, I'll fail out."

"Oh, Emma…"

"I'm done."

"I'm sure you could talk to your professors and—"

"No. This was my last chance, Gina. I'm done."

At a loss for any helpful words, Regina simply wrapped her arms around Emma and allowed her to cry into her shoulder. Emma clung to her in return, not letting go until the sobs had finally stopped and she'd steadied her breathing.

"I'm sorry," Regina told the girl. "I didn't realize. I would've helped you. I would've—"

"I hate school, Regina. I hate it. I love art, but I hate being critiqued for every little brush stroke. Everyone lies and says I'm talented to motivate me, but I keep producing poor quality work, and—"

"Your work is  _not_ poor quality! You just forget to turn in half of it and refuse to study!"

Face flooding with hot, red anger, Emma scowled at Regina and spat, "Whatever."

"Fuck. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, Em. I just—"

"Stop. Just stop."

"Emma. Really, I—"

"That's enough. I'm going to pack."

Pulling away from her lover's arms, Emma rose to her feet and opened the top drawer of her dresser. As soon as she started to pull some items from the drawer, though, Regina stood and grabbed her arm, carefully pulling her back.

"Stop!" Emma cried, jerking her arm away. "I don't even care about school! It doesn't matter! I don't need a degree to become a good artist."

"You're right. You don't. And you  _are_ a good artist, Emma. You are  _very_ talented. Your work is amazing, and everyone knows it. And besides, if you didn't care about school, you wouldn't be crying."

Freezing in place, Emma stared at Regina seriously and countered, "I don't care about school. I care about having to leave you."

Regina's eyes widened at Emma's confession, and after a moment of silence, she stepped forward and braved a stolen kiss. Before Emma could pull away, Regina gripped her wrist to hold her still and kept their lips together. The blonde hesitated but eventually kissed the girl back, and as soon as she did, Regina threaded her fingers through Emma's long blonde locks of hair.

"I love you," Regina whispered. "It's going to be okay."

"How? How is this going to be okay?"

"I'll get an apartment on campus. I'll—"

"Neither of us have money for that."

"I'll make it work. I'll get a job and—"

"No.  _I'll_ get a job. I'll waitress at the Rabbit Hole. I'll take care of you. I'll—"

"Oh, Emma," the brunette sighed, pulling her lover into her arms. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Emma sniffled, nuzzling the girl's neck. "Will you really get an apartment with me?"

"Yes, of course. That was the plan anyway, before… you know… before the funding ran out."

"Yeah?"

Regina chuckled, "Yeah. I kinda hate the dorms," and kissed Emma's cheek.

"Me too. Except that you're here."

"We'll make this work, Emma. I'm just worried about your education."

"My education?" Emma laughed. "I'll be fine. I'll just paint houses for a living."

"Oh, hush. You will not."

"Sure I will."

"No, you will  _not_ waste your talent like that."

Emma paused, looking deeply into Regina's eyes. She was serious.

"Thank you, Regina."

With a shrug, Regina replied, "No worries, babe. We'll be okay."

* * *

 

After returning from her evening shower, Regina found Emma sitting on the bed facing the small TV holding a console controller in her hand.

"What ya doin'?" Regina asked, smiling lightly at the adorable, highly focused expression on Emma's face.

"Video games," Emma mumbled, not tearing her eyes away from the screen. "Might as well."

"Emma…"

Then, Emma looked up from the screen after pausing the game and asked, "What?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't, okay? It's fine. I kinda knew this would happen," the blonde huffed. "I mean… Obviously, I tried to avoid the inevitable, but—"

When Regina sat down beside her lover on the bed and wrapped her arms around the girl, the rest of Emma's words got stuck in her throat, choked down by a sudden sob.

"Oh, Emma," Regina said sweetly, stroking the girl's beautiful locks of hair. "It'll be alright. We'll get by."

"I hate myself."

"What?"

"I hate myself, Gina. I hate that I can't even pass a class that's not Painting."

"You  _can,_ Emma."

"But I didn't."

"Em… It's okay. It's—"

"Don't. Just stop. It's over for me here, and that's that," Emma sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I need to just get the fuck over it."

"You don't need to just 'get the fuck over it.' It's perfectly okay to be upset. I know how much this hurts you. How much you wanted to pass."

"And I failed. I'm a loser."

"You are  _not_ a loser!"

"I am! You're over there getting a perfect 4.0 grade average, and I literally failed out of school."

"You haven't failed out yet. You could still—"

"No. Not without passing those final projects. There's only a few small quizzes and assignments left for those classes. There is mathematically  _no_ way for me to pass now. I'm done."

"I'm so sorry, Emma. I wish I could help. If there was anything I could do—"

"Well, there's not. So let's just stop, alright? Let's just… I don't know. I want to forget about this. I want… I want to go out. Let's go out, okay? Let's get super hammered and—"

"No. I'm not going to let you deal with your problems by drinking or doing drugs."

"I didn't say I was going to use drugs, and even if I was, it wouldn't be up to you."

"Well isn't  _that_ the most hypocritical thing you've ever said to me!" Regina cried. "Are you fucking serious?"

Emma nearly jumped back, startled by the girl's severe, angered reaction. She realized quickly the implications of what she'd said and blushed from embarrassment.

"Sorry," she mumbled, looking down at the controller in her hands to shut down the gaming console and turn off the television.

With a heavy sigh, Regina pushed her hand through her hair and said, "It's fine. Anyway, you're right. Do what you want. But I'm not going with you."

Looking up, Emma but her lip and met Regina's gaze. Her eyes were sad and dark, and they made Emma feel guilty. Still, the urge to become intoxicated was nearly overwhelming, despite how badly she wanted to impress her lover and keep herself in a positive light.

"Gina…"

"Yes?" the brunette replied, still looking melancholy.

"I really need to drink. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to, Em. Just… Just relax with me, okay? Let's go get some pizza and—"

"You hate pizza."

"Yeah, but—"

"Please, give me a pass tonight. I feel like shit. And I really can't handle it. I just need to block it out for a little while before I finish packing."

"Babe… Don't leave."

"Please, just let me go out. Come with me."

"I meant don't move out yet. At least not until the end of the semester. We've only got a couple weeks left."

"There's no point in staying," Emma sighed. "Going to class won't do me any good now."

"No point? Really, Emma?"

"What?"

"What about me? What about us? Don't you want to stay with me?"

"Oh. Shit. Of course I do, Regina… It's just going to be hard to stay here without… without finishing, you know?"

With a slow nod of understanding, Regina lowered her head and mumbled, "Go out if you want to. I won't stop you. But I'm not going."

"Come on, Gina… Please?"

"I don't want to get drunk, okay? I'm upset too, and—"

"This isn't about you! You're going to graduate like the perfect little student you are, and I failed out like the loser I am. So don't tell me  _you're_ upset."

"I'm sorry. I just meant—"

"I'm going, okay?"

"Emma…"

"What?"

"Please, be safe…"

Emma paused, then answered, "I won't go overboard. I just need something to take the edge off, alright? It's okay if you don't want to go. I shouldn't have pressured you. I'm sorry. I should let Belle know anyway…"

"I guess you're right. Seriously, though. Be safe. I'll be right here waiting for you when you get home."

The blonde laughed at this, responding, "You'll be passed out like a baby when I get back."

"Depends on how late you stay out," Regina quipped, her words a subtle warning. "Anyway, if I fall asleep, just wake me up and let me know you're okay, please. Just… so I know you're safe."

"I'm not going to wake you, Gina. You need your rest. You have class early tomorrow." Sighing, Regina shrugged her shoulders before Emma added, "I'll text you when I'm on the way back."

"Alright. Be safe, babe."

With that, Regina kissed her lover on the lips and gently nudged her over to her dresser. Emma changed into a tightly-fitting pair of denim shorts and a tank top before giving Regina one last kiss and leaving the dorm.

* * *

 

"Hey, Belle," Emma said into the receiver of her cell phone, as soon as the call was answered.

"Yo. What's up?"

"You wanna crash a party?"

"Um, obviously. But what about your lady?"

"What about her?"

"Is she coming with?"

"Would that be a problem…?" Emma asked, her tone hinting to Belle that she should be careful with her answer.

"No! No, of course not. I didn't mean that. I just meant… Wouldn't she be pissed?"

"She said I could go out."

"Seriously? After everything?"

"Yeah. I, um… I have to tell you something."

"Okay. What's up?"

"Can I tell you in person, please?"

Sensing Emma's sudden shift into seriousness, Belle replied, "Of course, honey. Come on over. I'll be ready in five."

" _Liar,_ " Emma laughed. "You know damn well I'll be standing there waiting on you for twenty minutes or more."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatevs. Just get your ass over here."

* * *

 

Belle knew that if Emma hadn't been able to tell her what was wrong over the phone, it must have been serious, so as soon as the blonde stepped through the door of her apartment, she threw her arms around the girl and rubbed her back gently.

"Alright, darlin'," Belle said gently, taking one step back but leaving her hands on her friend's shoulders. "What's going on?"

"I… I need a few drinks first…"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Emma shrugged, saying, "Probably not. But it's a necessary idea."

Biting her lip with concern, Belle nodded her head in understanding.

Twenty-five minutes later, they were ready to leave the apartment. As soon as they arrived at the party, Emma downed two shots and grabbed Belle's hand, pulling the girl out onto the dance floor.

"Emma—" Belle tried, but the blonde shook her head and pulled her in close.

Belle sighed, but quickly relaxed as Emma started to dance with her. She was okay. Right?

She tried to stop Emma from grabbing two more shots of rum, but the girl pushed her hand away when Belle tried to take them from her and quickly downed those too. Emma savored the burn as the liquid went down, and shortly after, she was enjoying the light buzz the alcohol provided.

"Your turn," Emma announced, pushing a shot glass into Belle's hand, spilling some of the liquid over the side of the glass and onto the floor.

"I'm alright. I think I should just kind of… stay sober and make sure you don't—"

But Emma insisted, "Neck up, loser. Don't be a pussy."

"I'm not!" the brunette cried. "But you're obviously planning to get out of control, so I need to be able to hold your hair back when you start puking."

"One more," Emma pressed, reaching for another shot. When Belle tried to stop her again, after downing her own shot, the blonde said, "One more. I'm fine. I'm hardly buzzed. You know I'm not a lightweight."

"Fine," Belle sighed, allowing the girl one last shot before dragging her away from the bottle. "That's it though."

With a shrug, Emma pulled her friend back onto the dance floor, her moves quickly becoming sloppier than before as they danced.

As soon as the last of the alcohol finally hit her, she stumbled into her dance partner, who quickly caught her and prevented the fall.

"Alright. Time to sit down," Belle announced, gently pushing Emma towards the closest empty loveseat.

As soon as she was sitting, Emma dropped her head into her hands and started to sob. This startled Belle, and the brunette quickly wrapped her arm around her friend's shoulder and pulled her in close.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asked. When Emma's sobs grew louder and it became obvious that she was having trouble speaking, Belle urged her, "Talk to me, darlin'."

"I'm failing out!" the blonde cried loudly, her voice carrying over the music so that her companion could hear her.

"Oh, fuck," Belle gasped.

"I know!"

"Holy shit, Em. I'm so sorry… I know how much you love it here, and—"

"Shut up! I hate school," Emma snapped. "You know that."

Belle chuckled lightly at this, rubbing her friend's back gently as she countered, "And  _you_ know that's a lie."

This made Emma cry harder as she asked, "What the fuck am I gonna do now?"

"You're gonna keep painting, Em. You're not gonna give up. School isn't everything. You've always said that."

"It is if I ever want a job!"

"Be honest. Have you ever really wanted a  _job?_ "

The blonde lifted her head and looked at her friend with sad eyes. Belle reached out and carefully wiped her tears with her thumbs.

After a long pause, Emma replied, "I guess not…"

"You're here because you love art, Emma. Because you want to learn new techniques, improve your skills, and hone your talent."

"What talent?" the blonde asked bitterly, pushing Belle's hands away to wipe her own eyes again.

"Emma, stop it. You know you're talented. You're  _amazing._ That's why you got in here. That's why you excel when you try."

"I do not."

"Of course you do. Every project you've ever cared about, you've aced."

"Shut up."

"It's true, Em. You just struggle really hard with things you're not interested in, and that's why you've had trouble here."

It took a moment for Emma to realize the truth of Belle's words, but when she did, she replied, "Thank you, Belle… What you just said means… It means everything to me…"

"You know, your girl feels the same way about you."

"Yeah, I know. But she's biased," Emma laughed lightly.

Belle just smiled at her, reaching around to rub her back again.

"I love you, Em."

"I love you too."

"You're gonna be okay, champ."

Again, there was a pause before Emma spoke again.

Then, she asked, "You wanna know something kinda crazy?"

"Of  _course_ I do. Tell me  _all_ the freaky things you two do. I've been waiting to hear that shit _forever,_ " Belle teased, grinning at her friend.

"Oh, my God. Shut  _up_. You are such an ass," the blonde laughed, shoving Belle's shoulder. "I'm being serious."

The smile faded from Belle's lips as she said, "Alright. My bad. I'm sorry. Go ahead and tell me. I'll be chill."

"I kinda wish I hadn't messed things up with Ruby."

"You didn't. It was a mutual misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding? We were douchebags to each other."

"Okay… Maybe so. Either way, it  _was_ mutual. You both had a hand it. It definitely wasn't all you."

"Well, it doesn't matter whose fault it is now. She'll never speak to me again."

"You don't know that."

"Sure I do."

"Okay, smartass. How?"

"Because… Um…"

"Oh, my God, Belle," Emma gaped. "Did you talk to her?"

"Of course I talked to her! We're all friends, remember? I wasn't gonna bail on Ruby just because you two were fighting. You were, as you said,  _both_  being douchebags."

"I never expected you to stop being her friend. I meant, did you really talk to her about  _me._ "

"Oh. Sorry. Uh… Well… No… Not exactly."

"What do you mean 'not exactly?'"

"She started it."

"I don't care who started it! Why were you two talking about me?" the blonde snapped, feeling quite a bit more sober than she had been when the conversation had started. "Wait… She brought it up?" When Belle bit her lip and didn't reply, Emma pressed, "Belle. What did she say?"

"You know I can't tell you that," Belle sighed, pushing her hair back.

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because I wouldn't tell her anything you've said either."

This, Emma could understand, so she huffed, "Fine. Whatever."

"All I can say is that I doubt she'll never talk to you again, okay?"

"Okay. I mean, I can't really believe you without knowing what she said, but… ya know."

"Emma, stop it. Don't be a dick. I can't tell you."

"Belle!"

"Stop! Jesus Christ. You know something, Em? You really are obnoxious. Drunk or not."

Emma's smile faded slowly into a warm smile as she replied, "You love me."

Rolling her eyes, Belle hugged the girl tightly and told her, "Of course I do. I always will." Then, after wiping the tears from her friend's eyes again, she said, "You're going to get through this. It might be hard, but you will. You don't need school to be successful. Yes, it makes life easier, but it's not everything."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because my parents refuse to back me as an artist without a formal education," Belle laughed. "But anyway. I'm serious. You're gonna be alright."

"Regina wants to get an apartment together next year."

"That's great, Em!"

"No. It's not. Because neither of us can afford it."

"It'll all work out, honey." Then, as her eyes scanned the large room, Belle said, "Ohhh, shit."

"What?" Emma blurted quickly, her hear jerking in the direction that her friend was staring.

Of course, at the worst, most ironic moment possible, she saw Ruby standing on the other side of the room, with her hand on the hip of a girl Emma didn't know.  _Probably a freshman,_ Emma noted, but she couldn't tear her eyes away. For some reason, finding out that she was failing out of school was making her reconsider most of her life choices, including being so harsh with Ruby. Before she managed to look away, Ruby saw her.

"Emma, don't-" Belle started, gripping the girl's hand, but Emma was already on her feet.

If Belle said that Ruby might talk to her again, why not try now? It wasn't like she'd see her around campus anymore. Emma was sure that she wouldn't be spending much time there after she left. She didn't have the gall to show her face at a school she failed out of.  _Might as well try making up with her now, while I have the chance,_  Emma was thinking.  _Then again… I could end up making things worse…_

Still, she didn't stop walking towards the brunette, even when her other friend called out her name. Belle was probably right to caution her against jumping right into a conversation with Ruby while she was buzzed and Ruby was probably drunk, but Emma didn't care.

At first, when she reached Ruby, who had looked away before Emma had started to walk towards her, Emma paused awkwardly, not having planned exactly what to say.

It came out pathetically in a small, "Hey," that Ruby didn't even hear.

But Ruby saw her standing there out of the corner of her eye and quickly turned around when she noticed the girl's presence.

"What do you want?" the brunette snapped.

Emma blushed, but replied, "N-Nothing. I just—"

"Can't you see I'm a little busy?"

Sighing, Emma replied, "Yeah, I see. Busy trying to get laid, like always."

"Did you come over here to make comments about my sex life? Because last I checked,  _you're_ the slut."

This stung, even though it hadn't really the first few times Ruby had said it, so Emma looked away.

When Ruby saw the pain and disappointment on Emma's face – the girl was unable to hide it – she pressed, "Well? What do you want?"

"Can we, um… just… talk? For a minute?"

Ruby stared at her, blinking a few times before speaking.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Alright. Well… Maybe you could just listen?"

Emma's voice sounded small, and Ruby wasn't used to this, so it caught her off guard and intrigued her enough to turn back to her younger companion and say, "I gotta deal with this, okay? I'll find you later. Don't get too drunk without me."

Then, Ruby watched as Emma looked down and shoved her hands into her pockets.

"I'm listening," the brunette said firmly, crossing her arms.

Ruby's aggressiveness was off-putting and made Emma nervous, but she knew she had to speak, so she forced herself to say, "I'm failing out."

Starting blankly, hardly believing the girl's words, Ruby remained quiet for a while, before she finally said, "What do I care?"

Sighing, Emma replied, "You probably don't. I guess I just wanted you to know that you probably won't see me around much after the next couple weeks, if at all. Maybe you'll be happier that way, though. Anyway…" She swallowed hard before squeezing out her next words, "I'm sorry. I was a complete dickhead. And you're right, Ruby. I am a slut."

Again, the blonde felt herself getting choked up, and Ruby wasn't replying, so she started to turn around.  _Might as well quit before I make it worse,_ she figured.  _At least she knows now._ But Ruby grabbed her arm quickly and jerked her back.

"You're not a slut." As much as she hated it, Emma couldn't keep the tears from filling her eyes, and a few of them dripped down her cheek before Ruby added, "I'm sorry too. I never should have said that. I just… wanted to hurt you…"

"It worked," Emma croaked, reaching up to quickly wipe the evidence of her pain from her eyes.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. God, I'm such a fuck. I don't know why I always do this to the people I love."

_Love._

"Love?"

"Yes,  _love,_ you idiot!" As Emma stared at her, Ruby asked, "Why did you think I reacted that way? I'm fucking in love with you."

Everything in the room faded away. The roar of drunken conversations and loud music blended into each other and were tuned out. Emma's face went white.

"Fuck," she breathed. "I never thought you actually…"

"Yeah, well. I was a dipshit for falling for you. I don't really think you're a slut, Emma, but  _damn_ do you get around. I just thought…when we started… you know… getting a little… uh… crazy… in the bedroom… that we had something special. I stupidly thought I was different, and I was wrong. And that hurt, so I lashed out at you."

"And Regina."

"Yeah." Then, Ruby confessed, "I was jealous. I  _am_ jealous."

"I'm… I'm sorry, Ruby. I mean, it was obvious that you were jealous of the attention I was giving her, but I didn't know you were… in  _love_ with me…"

"Yeah, well… I wish I wasn't."

"Me too. Because I don't want to hurt you. I was an asshole to you. And obviously… I also broke your heart in the process. But I swear I didn't mean to do that. I don't want to lose you as a friend, Ruby."

"I can't, Emma," Ruby sighed. "I just can't be near you and be okay. I'll never be able to look at her and not want to punch her fucking lights out. And I'll never be able to look at you and not picture you fucking me."

Emma nodded slowly, saying, "I understand. Anyway, my failing out should make things easier on you. You'll be able to forget about me."

"I could never forget about you, Emma. Not ever."


	9. Chapter 9

Emma woke Regina gently upon entering their dorm room by rubbing her shoulder.

"Gina… I'm back," she whispered, leaving her hand on the girl's arm.

Regina's body jerked slightly, startled by the sudden touch, and opened her eyes quickly to find Emma leaned over her.

"Hi," the blonde said softly, stroking her lover's hair back. "I'm gonna crash. Just wanted to let you know I'm home, like you asked me to."

"Wait," Regina said, throat dry from sleep, as Emma turned to move toward her own bed on the other side of the room.

"Get some sleep, love. I don't want to crowd you. You need your rest."

"Don't be stupid," the brunette mumbled. "Get in here."

Chuckling softly, Emma slipped under the sheets as Regina scooted over and held them up. As soon as her lover was laying down, Regina snuggled closer, draping her arm over Emma's waist. Emma smiled at this, but Regina was not completely satisfied with the position, so she shifted her weight and rolled slightly until she was lying on top of the blonde.

"Goodnight, Regina."

"Wait."

"What is it, love?"

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you okay? You don't sound…"

"What? Drunk?" Emma laughed. "I drank a lot right when I got there and stopped drinking shortly after that. The buzz has pretty much worn off by now."

"So… How was your night?"

Regina sounded slightly reserved and cautious, so Emma confessed, "It was… rough, honestly. I bawled my eyes out in front of Belle… and then…"

"Then?"

"Ruby showed up."

Emma felt Regina's body stiffen slightly before the girl replied, "What did she say?"

"Can we talk about this in the morning? You're tired."

"No. Let's talk now." When Emma hesitated, Regina added, "Please."

With a sigh, Emma answered, "She called me a slut… then told me she's in love with me."

"Shit…"

"Yeah. Tell me about it."

"Well… What did you say?"

"Not much. Just that I was sorry for my hand in things and for breaking her heart the way I did. And that I didn't want to lose her as a friend."

Swallowing hard as she processed what her lover had said, Regina asked, "And what did she say to that?"

"She said… Well… She basically just said… that she couldn't handle being my friend…"

Sensing Emma was leaving something out, the brunette pressed, "Emma. What else did she say?"

"She said she can't look at you without 'wanting to punch your lights out' and that she can't look at me without 'picturing me fucking' her."

"Wow…"

Again, Emma sighed, unsure of what else she could say. She knew it didn't sound great, but she couldn't really gauge Regina's reaction, which made her anxious.

"What are you thinking?" she finally asked.

Regina looked directly into Emma's eyes before answering, "I'm thinking that I'm glad you're mine now… and…"

"And?"

"And that I hate thinking about you fucking her."

"Well, don't then. It's not like I'll ever—"

"It's not that easy. You just brought it up. It's not like I can pretend it didn't happen, considering it happened over, and over… and over…"

"Regina…"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I hadn't been such a slut. But I just… I just need you to know that I love you. And that you're the only one who's ever made me feel whole."

After a pause, Regina told her lover, "I feel the same way about you. I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."

This earned a smile from Emma, who leaned up to kiss the brunette's forehead.

"I love you, Gina."

"I love you too." There was another pause, this time long enough to become awkward, before Regina asked, "Is she better than me?"

"What?"

"In bed."

" _What?_ "

"Well? Is she?"

"Regina… Don't do this."

Then, Regina sat up, kneeling between Emma's legs, and looked down at the blonde.

"I want to know."

"Listen, that's not important, okay? It's different."

"How?"

"How what?"

"How is it different?"

"I… Well…"

"Yeah. It's not."

"It's different because I'm in love with you!" Emma explained, exasperated.

"I'm not asking who you're in love with. I know you're in love with me. I'm asking you if she was better at fucking you."

"No."

"No what?"

"No, she wasn't better at fucking me, Regina."

"I feel like you're lying…"

"What? Why?"

"Because I know I'm rubbish in bed. I know you just—"

"Whoa.  _Whoa._ Where the fuck is this coming from? You are  _not_ rubbish in bed!"

"You brought it up."

"Look, don't shoot the messenger, okay? I'm just relaying what she said. I'm just trying to be open and honest with you."

"And I appreciate that, so don't stop there. Tell me the truth."

"I am. You're incredible in bed, Regina Mills. Incredible." When Regina didn't look convinced, Emma added, "I promise you that."

"What about Belle?"

"Oh, my God, Regina. Stop."

"Well?"

"No, Regina! She was not better at fucking me! Can we stop talking about this now? It's making me feel sick."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because I don't like thinking about having sex with them, okay?"

"Why not?"

"I just don't, okay? It's in the past, and I'm not proud of it. It makes me feel guilty and ashamed. And you're not helping right now."

"Fuck…" Regina breathed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just… get… jealous, I guess. It's stupid. So stupid. I'm sorry."

"There's no one in this world I'd rather be with than you. And there is definitely no one I'd rather fuck  _or_ make love to."

Regina smiled at this, leaning down to kiss her lover's lips before saying, "I love you, Emma," and curling up against the girl's chest.

* * *

 

Time passed quickly over the next few weeks, until finally, they were at the very end of the semester. Emma had been going to her classes, despite her imminent failure, which made Regina exceedingly proud. She'd been right, of course: Emma was there to hone her skills as an artist, not for a degree, and her determination was made obvious by her choice to attend the rest of her classes.

"I'm not going in for finals, though," Emma told Regina over dinner.

Pausing and looking at her partner curiously, Regina slowly nodded her head and replied, "I can understand that."

"I'll turn in my final portfolios, but I'm not taking the tests. There's really no point."

"Alright."

"I'm going to write my teachers letters."

"What do you mean, dear?"

"You know… Just… thank you's. For putting up with my shit."

"That's really sweet, Em. Really, really sweet. I think that's a great idea," Regina told her lover with a bright smile. Again, she found herself exceedingly proud, so she told Emma so, saying, "I can't tell you how proud of you I am. You've come such a long way. Your whole attitude has changed, and it's really… It's really inspiring."

Emma blinked a few times, staring at Regina, before saying, "Thanks, hun…"

Reaching across the table for Emma's hand, Regina smiled.

* * *

 

"So, what did you say?" Regina asked gently as she watched Emma put each letter into an envelope for her respective teachers.

"That's top secret," the blonde teased, holding the letters to her chest.

"Oh, c'mon. Tell meee."

Her lover's playful whine was enough to convince Emma to share, so she pulled one out of its unsealed envelope and began to read, "Dear Mr. Stark, I just wanted to say that I very much appreciate your dedication and persistence concerning my development as a student and an artist. I apologize to have disappointed you and to have failed the tasks you appointed to me, but I want you to know that I have a deep gratitude for everything I've learned from you, and I wish you all the best. Sincerely, Emma Swan."

"Wow, Emma," Regina said softly. "That's… That's really amazing."

"What? Why?"

"Because it was very mature. You could have taken on the opposite attitude of bitterness and resentment for them failing you, but instead, you took it in stride and were able to express your gratitude to them for their desire to see you succeed."

With a shrug, Emma mumbled, "I guess so. Anyway… How was your day?"

"Actually… I wanted to talk to you about that…"

"Oh?" When Regina was silent for a moment or two, Emma asked nervously, "Good or bad?"

"Good, I think."

"You think?"

"Well… I got some letters in the mail today."

"Yeah?"

"And… I got two scholarships for next year…"

"Oh, my gosh, babe! That's so great! I am  _so_ proud of you!" Emma exclaimed, leaping towards her lover and throwing her arms around the girl. "I knew you could do it."

"I guess I'm just really lucky," Regina said softly. "The portfolios I submitted weren't even that good."

"Oh, my God, Regina. Shut up. They were  _amazing!_  I knew they'd love you!"

"Em…"

"Yes, love?"

"Thank you so much for finding them for me and helping me apply. I really, really appreciate it. I literally owe my entire education to you now. I would've had to drop out, and—"

"I'd do anything to help you follow your dreams, Regina. Anything."

With a soft smile, Emma kissed the girl's forehead, then lifted her chin to catch her lips.

"You are amazing, Emma Swan," Regina sighed. "Simply amazing. I don't know how I got so lucky to have met you."

"Luck has nothing to do with it."

Emma smiled at her lover before kissing her again and pulling her into a tighter hug.

* * *

 

On the last day of school, the air between them was tense. It was strange to think that Regina would be returning to the school and that Emma would not be. It was bittersweet for both of them.

"Em?" Regina asked, finding her lover sitting on her bed, which had been stripped of its sheets. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah," Emma managed to choke out. "I just… Um…"

Offering the girl an encouraging smile, Regina sat down beside Emma on her bed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"It's okay, baby. You can tell me."

"I'm.. I'm gonna…" Emma tried, but the knot in her throat gripped her tightly, and a sob struck her abruptly, making her chest heave and a loud, mournful noise escape her as she began to cry. "I'm j-just g-gonna miss it here."

"Oh, honey," the brunette whispered softly, rubbing Emma's back. "It'll be alright. We're starting a new adventure. A new chapter in our lives. Together. We get to move into the new place tonight, and everything is going to be fine."

"It's j-just… I met y-you here," Emma gasped through sobs. "It's… s-special."

"I know, darlin'. I know."

Holding the girl a little tighter, Regina placed a kiss on the top of her lover's head to comfort her. Slowly, Emma's tears stopped, and she was able to breathe normally again. Still, the pain in her chest would not subside.

As she stood up from the mattress, she grabbed a cardboard box on her dresser and told Regina, "I'm gonna take a load over to the apartment, okay?"

"Alright… Just… chin up, okay? I'll see you there tonight."

Since Regina had two more classes that day, they'd agreed that Emma would do the back-and-forth with the few boxes they had, and that Regina would do the unpacking. After two trips that filled Belle's car to its maximum capacity, all of their things were at the new place.

"Well, here you are," Belle announced happily. "This place is cool. Can't wait to come over and party."

Emma laughed at this, shaking her head.

"No way, kid. I don't want this place trashed. Besides, Regina would kill us."

With a nod of agreement and a wide smile, Belle gave her friend a tight hug, saying, "Well, let's get to it, huh?"

"Get to what?"

"Unpacking, silly. You're gonna surprise her by having everything done when she gets home tonight."

"What? Everything?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Because… I don't know."

"You moved from a tiny dorm room. There wasn't that much shit. You guys are gonna have to go buy pots and pans and stuff. But what's here now? We can get settled no problem. I'll help."

"Thank you, Belle… I really appreciate all your help today."

After another nod and hug, the two began to unpack.

* * *

 

When Regina walked into the apartment after her classes that night, her jaw nearly fell to the newly cleaned floors.

"Oh my—" she started, but was stunned into silence when she saw the candles sitting on the coffee table burning brightly.

Emma was on the couch, and even though she'd heard Regina approaching outside their apartment, she looked up slowly only when she heard the girl speak.

"What's—" Regina started again, staring at the acoustic guitar on Emma's lap.

"Come sit," Emma offered warmly, nodding towards the recliner adjacent from her in the living room.

Blinking a few times to clear her confusion, Regina moved to the chair and sat down slowly.

Softly, Regina mused, "I didn't know you played," as she watched her lover carefully.

Beginning to strum the guitar with nimble, practiced fingers, Emma sang:

" _Wise men say only fools rush in_  
But I can't help falling in love with you  
Shall I stay?  
Would it be a sin  
If I can't help falling in love with you?

" _Like a river flows surely to the sea_  
Darling so it goes  
Some things are meant to be  
Take my hand, take my whole life too  
For I can't help falling in love with you."

Regina, of course, was staring, rendered speechless by the melodic sound of Emma's song.

"Sorry," Emma mumbled, setting the guitar down on the floor and leaning it against the couch. "Little rusty."

After a short moment of silence where Regina stared at Emma and Emma forced herself to look away, Regina stood up and walked over to the couch. After carefully moving the guitar to the side, she straddled Emma's lap without hesitation, cupping her face in her hands and kissing her hard. Only when they were both breathless did Emma pull away.

"What—" the blonde tried to ask, but Regina cut her off with another (shorter) kiss.

"You are the most amazing person I have ever met, Emma Swan."

As Regina stared down lovingly into her partner's eyes, Emma slid her hands over the girl's thighs.

"Thank you," Regina said softly, running her fingers through Emma's hair. "For everything."

With a blush, Emma replied, "No problem. Just doing my best to treat my girl like the princess she is."

"I couldn't ask for a better partner."

"Sure, you could. You could—"

"Hey. Don't. Just accept it, okay? You're perfect. You're more than I've ever dreamed of. So much more. And I wouldn't change anything about you."

This earned a smile from Emma, who wrapped her arms around the girl and embraced her.

"So," the brunette said, breaking the silence that had creeped up on them as they held each other. "What do you say we christen the new bed?"

Eyes wide, Emma nodded slowly, hoping that her lover meant the offer the way it sounded.

* * *

 

"That was amazing," Regina sighed happily, after their lovemaking.

"Oh yeah?" Emma asked with a grin.

"No, silly. Not that."

"What, then?"

"Your song, honey."

Emma blushed and looked away.

"When did you become such a romantic, hmm?"

Squirming uncomfortably under the covers, Emma muttered, "I'm not."

"Okay, ya little sap," Regina giggled. "But for the record, I loved it."

This inspired Emma to look up, meeting Regina's gaze.

"Yeah?"

"Mhmm. I love the sound of your voice. It's incredible."

"Nah," Emma mumbled, looking away again, but this time, Regina caught her chin and tilted her head up to kiss her.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now, quit pickin' on me."

Laughing, Regina kissed the girl's forehead and nuzzled Emma's nose with her own, "Alright, babe. As you wish."

* * *

 

The next day, one that started off calm, was abruptly interrupted when Emma received a call from the local hospital.

"Hello?" she answered into the receiver.

"Yes, is this Emma Swan?"

"It is…"

"We wanted to call and inform you that your partner, Miss Mills, has been admitted to the hospital, and that she is currently in critical condition."

"What happened?!" Emma gasped. "Is she going to be alright?!"

"She was hit by a car on campus. It's best if you come down."

* * *

 

Emma spent the next six or seven hours sitting in a chair in Regina's hospital room, waiting for doctors to check on Regina and give her updates about how she was doing. Regina hadn't woken yet.

"Is she going to be alright?" Emma asked, each time a doctor or nurse entered the room.

"We don't know yet, Miss Swan. We're doing the best we can. All we can do now is monitor her vitals and keep her hydrated."

Of course, this only infuriated Emma, who exclaimed, "Can't you fucking  _do_ something?!"

She was quickly calmed down – at least to some degree – by the doctor when he said, "We're not going to let her go without a fight."

"Thank you," Emma mumbled. "I'm sorry I snapped."

"It's perfectly alright. We all understand how scary these things can be, but we're going to do everything we can to make sure that Miss Mills is—"

The doctor was cut off when Regina's parents appeared in the doorway to the room.

"Who the hell are you?" Regina's mother snapped, gesturing to Emma.

Never having met Regina's parents, Emma wasn't sure what to say, so she simply rose to her feet and said, "I'm Regina's roommate. I was just here in case she woke up. I've been sitting with her for six or seven hours now."

This calmed Regina's mother to a small degree, and she then received the same reassurance from the doctor that Emma had.

After four more hours, visiting hours were over, and the doctors announced that they had to leave. Regina's parents did this without emotion or protest, but Emma lingered behind and stopped the nurse before she left the room.

"Um… Miss," Emma addressed her politely. "Would… I know… I know visiting hours are over, but… if there's any way I could stay… I would greatly appreciate it. I just… I don't want her to wake up alone."

As tears welled in her eyes, the nurse sighed and said, "Alright. But stay in here and be quiet. Other patients are sleeping."

"Thank you so much."

* * *

 

Emma stayed awake, holding Regina's hand the whole night. Just as dawn was rising and the first rays of the morning sun were streaming through the window shades, Regina's eyes fluttered open.

"Babe!" Emma gasped, immediately pulling her chair closer to the bed. "Oh, my God. Are you alright? Does it hurt?"

" _Fuck_ yes, it hurts," Regina groaned weakly, squeezing her eyes shut.

The expression of pain on her face urged Emma to immediately push the button to call a nurse, who appeared almost instantly.

"Oh, good!" the nurse cried with a broad smile. "Miss Mills is awake."

"She's in pain," Emma cut in quickly. "Can you get her something?"

"Of course. We'll turn up the morphine drip and that should help shortly."

Sighing in relief, Emma squeezed Regina's hand and whispered, "It's gonna be okay, baby. I'm right here."

"Don't leave me, Em," Regina whined, trying to squeeze Emma's hand in return but finding the strength to do so very much missing.

"I will  _never_ leave you."

The expression of pain and concern faded slowly from Regina's features, and she relaxed slightly as she listened to the sound of Emma's voice.

Once she heard the nurse leave the room, Regina whispered, "Emma…"

"Yes, honey. I'm right here," the blonde replied, stroking the back of Regina's hand with her thumb.

"Sing to me." At first, Emma hesitated, but when Regina muttered, " _Please,_ " she had to give in.

It took her a moment to gather the courage to sing, and the words were soft at first.

" _I can only give you love that lasts forever,_  
And a promise to be near each time you call.  
And the only heart I own  
For you and you alone  
That's all,  
That's all...

"I can only give you country walks in springtime  
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;  
And a love whose burning light  
Will warm the winter's night  
That's all,  
That's all."

After managing two verses, Emma's voice cracked, a lump rising in her throat as she tried not to cry.

Regina responded to her silence almost instantly, begging, "Sing the rest, honey. Please."

Blushing slightly, Emma continued:

"There are those I am sure who have told you,  
They would give you the world for a toy.  
All I have are these arms to enfold you,  
And a love time can never destroy.

"If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,  
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.  
Say it's me that you'll adore,  
For now and evermore  
That's all,  
That's all."

"You're an angel," Regina sighed, after Emma's song was finished.

"Hardly," Emma chuckled in reply, wiping a few tears from her eyes, onto the sleeve of her sweater.

"It must've hurt."

"What?"

"When you fell from Heaven."

"Oh, my  _God,_ " Emma laughed. " _Stop._ "

Finally, a smile spread over Regina's lips. Emma could tell that the medicine was working, because Regina's features had relaxed fully, and her face was no longer twisted into an expression of agony.

"You alright?" the blonde asked, stroking her lover's arm.

"Yeah. Better. I just feel… heavy. And dizzy."

"It's alright, babe. You'll be okay."

"I'm so glad you're here."

"Your parents came by, too. I'm sure they'll be back soon. It's morning now."

"Oh?"

"Mhmm. Your mom was none too pleased to see a stranger sitting in her daughter's hospital room."

"Did you tell her who you are?!" Regina gasped, her eyes snapping open.

"No… I just told her I was your roommate. I figured I'd leave it up to you to tell them, if you wanted to."

"I'll… I'll tell them, Emma," Regina sighed, when she saw the expression of dejection on Emma's face. "I just… need time. They already hate me enough for staying in art school."

With a weak nod, Emma dropped her gaze and sighed.

"I feel like a dirty secret," she finally said, rubbing her eyes.

"You're  _not_ ," the brunette assured her, finally finding the strength to squeeze Emma's hand. "I just need to find the right moment to tell them."

"I should probably leave before they come back, then."

"Emma…"

"What?"

"Don't leave."

Looking curiously at her partner, Emma asked, "You sure you want me to stay?"

Regina nodded.

To Emma's surprise (but not to Regina's), Regina's parents did not show up the rest of the day. Emma didn't leave her side, except to use the restroom, and when Regina's parents hadn't appeared by six that night, Emma suggested that Regina call them.

"Yeah, okay," Regina mumbled. "But obviously they don't care."

When the call ended, Regina flopped back against the pillows and sighed.

"You okay, champ?" Emma asked, concerned.

"I think they've pretty much disowned me."

"Oh, come on. Surely, they can't—"

"I got a, 'That's nice, dear,' when I told them I was okay."

Biting her lip, Emma looked away for a moment before turning back to meet Regina's gaze and saying, "I'm sorry, Gina. I wish there was something I could do."

"There is…"

"There is?"

"You can promise to never leave me."

Laughing, Emma replied, "I've already done that."

"I just… I just want to hear it again."

"I promise, baby. I promise I will never leave you."

* * *

 

Regina remained in the hospital for several more days. Luckily, she'd finished all of her exams for the semester, and wasn't missing any classes. Emma barely left her side during her entire stay at the hospital.

Once they were back home, Emma took her opportunity to make them both a warm, home-cooked meal.

"What are you making?" Regina asked curiously, peering toward the kitchen from the lounge room.

"None of your business. Now, relax, like I told you to!"

Regina had made it out of the accident with two broken ribs and a concussion, and Emma was watching her like the FBI watch the people on the Most Wanted list. Of course, this was frustrating for Regina, because although it was excruciating to sit up, she hated being still for extended periods of time. It made her feel useless, especially when Emma was in the kitchen cooking dinner all by herself.

When Emma presented the meal to Regina, who was lying on the couch, Regina's eyes went wide.

"Is that… Is that turkey pot pie?" she gaped, clearly impressed.

"Yes, ma'am. Mom's recipe."

"Wow."

"Wow what? You didn't think I could cook, just because we always ate in the dining hall?"

"Well… Yeah…"

"I didn't have an oven!" Emma cried, exasperated. "I can cook! Try it and see." With a warm smile, Regina reached out and took the plate from her lover, after which Emma added, "Careful. It's hot."

Regina blew carefully on the slice of pot pie to cool it down before putting a forkful in her mouth. Instantly, her eyes closed, and she let out a soft moan of contentment as she swallowed.

Emma crossed her arms over her chest triumphantly and grinned, saying, "See? I can cook."

"What else can you make?" Regina asked happily, smiling up at her lover.

Emma blushed, confessing, "Well… Nothing, really. I mean, like, I can handle some mac n' cheese. And maybe spaghetti. But that's about it."

This made Regina burst out laughing before taking another forkful of the delicious meal.

"Shut up, okay?" Emma whined in protest. "At least I can make this."

"You did great, baby," Regina assured her, squeezing her hand. "Thank you so much for cooking for me."

"You're welcome."

With a shrug, Emma sat down on the couch beside her lover with her own plate of food and ate quietly until they were both finished.

* * *

 

"So, how's Regina doing?" Belle asked, when she and Emma were out for lunch one day over the summer.

"She's healing up really well, actually," Emma replied. "She should be good to go back to school by the time classes start up."

"That's great!"

"Yeah, totally."

"I should ask her what classes she's in to see if she's in any of mine."

"Yeah, I'm sure she'd love to pop pills with you in the middle of your pottery seminar," the blonde quipped, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, she likes me now! We've got no beef, man. We're chill."

"I know you're chill."

"Seriously, though, it'd be cool to hang with her and stuff. She's smart so, like… she could help me and stuff."

Emma laughed and nudged her friend's shoulder, saying, "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

With a nod, Belle offered silent agreement and a broad smile.

"Guess we'll see how it goes."

* * *

 

Upon seeing Regina limp into her first class of the day, Belle cried, "Regina!" and rushed to her side.

First, Belle took Regina's books, then smiled brightly and walked the girl to the nearest desk.

Sitting down slowly and wincing only slightly at the pain of the movement, Regina greeted the girl, "Hey, Belle."

"How are you, honey? I'm so glad you're in one of my classes!"

"Me too, actually. I'm okay, but I feel weird, like I don't know anyone."

"You'll be alright. I'm here for ya, babe. But I hear this class is gonna be a bitch."

"Yeah?"

"First-level drawing was so easy. But apparently second-level is brutal."

"Well, that's unfortunate, because I really don't know my way around with a pencil."

"I'm alright with it I suppose, but I still hate being judged on my work in school."

"Just like Emma," Regina chuckled, rolling her eyes.

Belle smiled again and replied, "Yep. Pretty much. Two peas in a pod, we are. It's too bad she's not here…"

This brought a heavy silence between them as both thought mournfully of Emma's past time at the school.

"Yeah," Regina finally sighed. "She was really sad last night. I mean, obviously she didn't say so, but… I could tell. She was trying to be happy for me. I kissed her goodbye this morning while she was sleeping, but I didn't want to wake her up to watch me go. I think it would've been too hard on her, so I just let her sleep. She doesn't have to work until later."

"Damn… I can only imagine how she just be feeling right now…"

"I think she's depressed, Belle. She hasn't painted anything all summer… She's been busy taking care of me and my stupid broken ribs."

"Oh, fuck. Really? I assumed she'd been working on stuff…"

"Yeah, well... Let's just say I haven't seen so much as a paintbrush since we moved into the apartment."

"I'm sorry, hun. I know it must be stressful on you to have to deal with school and the stuff going on with Em. I wish I could—"

"Good morning, class!" the teacher greeted them loudly, interrupting the chatter filling the classroom.

Both girls looked at each other with a knowing sigh and turned their attention to the front of the room.

* * *

 

When Regina arrived at the apartment that night, Emma heard her keys jingling in the hallway. Before Regina could touch the doorknob, Emma was opening the door to greet her.

Instead of looking excited to see Regina, like she usually did when the girl arrived home, Regina found her looking anxious.

"Hi, babe," Emma greeted her lover softly, still holding onto the door.

"Are you alright?" Regina blurted instantly. "Your face is totally white."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm f-fine," Emma said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. "Come inside, goober."

With a slow nod and a look of suspicion, Regina stepped into the apartment and set her backpack down next to the door.

"Wait," Regina gasped. "Aren't you supposed to have a closing shift at work?!"

"Oh, uh… Um… Yeah, I, uh… I gave it away. I wanted to be here when you got home from your first day back at school."

"But, Em—"

As Regina started taking her shoes off, Emma interrupted her and announced, "I'm gonna go grab you a snack. Why don't you get comfortable on the couch?"

"Emma, you don't have to—"

"Regina. Go relax, honey. You've had a long day."

With a sigh and some reluctance, Regina turned away from her lover and made her way into the living room. At first, Emma turned away, as though she was going to walk to the kitchen, but once she heard Regina's feet hit the carpet of the living room, she turned back around and followed the girl quietly into the room.

As soon as Regina saw the large painted canvas propped up on an easel in front of the television, her hands few up to cover her mouth, but they failed to suffocate the audible gasp that escaped her lips.

When Regina turned around, Emma was down on one knee, with her arms extended. In her hands, she carefully cradled a small ring box.

On the canvas, over a multi-colored background, were the words, 'Will you marry me?' in white.

"Oh, my—" Regina started, but was cut off my Emma's soft, pleading words.

"Regina Mills… Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Then, the brunette shouted, "Oh,  _Emma!_ Of  _course!_ " and threw her arms around her lover, squeezing her tightly.

In return, Emma whispered, "I love you so much," and kissed Regina's temple.

"I didn't know you were painting!" Regina finally cried, after wiping the tears from her eyes.

Emma laughed at this, shrugging her shoulders and saying, "Yeah, well. The idea was to keep it a secret."

"But not even Belle knew!"

"Nope. She would've spoiled it," the blonde chuckled.

Regina laughed at this too and kissed Emma's lips slowly, cupping her face in her hands.

"I love you, Emma Swan. I can't wait to be your wife."

Lifting the girl into her arms, Emma carried Regina the few steps toward the couch and laid her down there, leaning her back against the pillows, then knelt between her legs. After kissing her several more times, savoring each one, Emma nuzzled Regina's nose with her own.

"Fuck, I was scared to do that," the blonde finally blurted out. "Terrified."

"Well, you certainly did look like you were going to be ill! But why be scared?"

"I thought you'd say no. That it was too soon."

"It probably is too soon," Regina laughed. "But I don't care. I want you, always." Blushing brightly, Emma kissed her again, but her lover pushed her away slowly and confessed, "I was so scared you were going to get discouraged and stop painting. Your art means everything to you. And to me. I would do anything in my power to support you, Emma. In anything you wanted to do. No matter what. I hope you know that."

"I do. But I will never give up on art," she added. "Just like I will  _never_  give up on you."

Beaming, Regina turned to glance at the large, colorful canvas and announced, "We're hanging it in our bedroom."

Laughing once again, Emma replied, "As you wish, darling. As you wish."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks! El fin. It was the best I could do, and I think if I'd tried to write more, it would've been forced and flat, so I tried to keep it concise. I hope you all enjoyed the ride. Thank you SO much for all the kudos and comments!


End file.
